Marvel Reviews w/ Rambo - Jessica Jones Season 1 (2015)

 

While not a bad show, I am very disappointed to find out that the entire reason we spent 13 episodes trying to follow this man, took herself out of the equation before the job could be finished. On top of the fact that it took one final episode to actually track him down and snap his neck in a quick, seemingly effortless motion. THIRTEEN EPISODES PEOPLE. And not just like 30-minute episodes. No. Full hour episodes that, if aired on live television wouldve ended up being at least 90-minutes because of ads. Which means it would've felt like you were watching a movie with potty breaks preinstalled. And now what? Now she is just going to have her super strength power out in the open? The world is going to try to take advantage of her, again, technically, according to this show, she almost became an avenger once already, as it is. So, again, while not a bad show, and it has decent chemistry between the cast members, it feels very drawn out and a little unfufilling because of how drawn out it is.

!!! SPOILERS BELOW !!!

• AKA Ladies Night
• We aren't getting any type of preview to the show? Just straight into the title credits?
• She's a private eye. Okay then.
• She looks like Sofia Carson
• Is she okay? Why is she sneaking around apartments?
• Where did she get that address from?
• She drinks more than she should while working.
• So is she working multiple cases or taking a break between?
• Will the cases end up being connected?
• DID SHE JUST PICK UP HIS CAR?!?
• So neither of them is going to say anything to each other? ... Sorry? Sorry for what? Walking out on him?
• I'm so confused, what is wrong with her?
• Why do her neighbors argue every day?
• How does she know this guy?
• What did he make her do?
• Are we hoping they vacate the room, and that is why we pulled the fire alarm?
• Why is the fire alarm not going off in the room? Isn't that kind of a hazard? How would an occupant know to evacuate?
• Why is she refusing to leave?
• Did she just knock her out by hitting her head on the wall?
• Hey! Blondie is the actress who is in "The Boys"!
• Now, why in the world did she have that in her bag, and how did Jessica not know? Is that what he made her do? Why didn't she check the bag for that?
• Does the guy have some type of mind control power?
• AKA Crush Syndrome
• Um, excuse me, but you still need a search warrant to enter the office, even if it is part of the crime scene. Anything indoors requires one.
• His name is KillGrave?
• Soooooo it's happening in Hell's Kitchen? It takes place in the same area as the Daredevil series, then. Is this the same timeframe, too, or different?
• Dude, Jess is right. When you are so loud every single day that the entire building is tired of hearing it, it becomes everyone's business.
• THEY'RE RELATED?!? That makes it so much worse.
• I thought you couldn't live without at least one kidney?
• That is so sad that he wants to die.
• Wait, did she actually stalk the bar guy and snitch on the wife for her own personal gain or was she actually hired?
• HOME BOY IS JUST SLAPPING THEM UPSIDE THE HEAD AND KNOCKING THEM OUT!
• Whoa, his skin is impenetrable?
• They really just gave that information out just like that?
• Why in the world is the professor running?
• How in the world is she going to prove it? Especially if there are people with powers involved?
• If your home doubles as your office or vice versa, why would you want a semi-opaque glass window as your front door?
• Did she just sneeze blood into a cup?
• Why is this guy so obsessed with her that he is doing all these things?
• I think you're gonna need to buy that handyman a new blade...
• AKA It's Called Whiskey
• Welp, so much for fixing her apartment.
• The superhero dating scene is very interesting.
• She was almost part of the initiative???
• Bullet proof windows? They let you do that in an apartment?
• So does blondie have powers too?
• How did he know her name?
• Why are they letting her tell her story on a radio show?
• Are we worried now that the victim who KOd her parents is going to KO herself overnight?
• She was doing so well keeping him at bay. He doesn't even sound like the guy from the radio.
• Jessica made it in time! Yay!!
• What is she going to do with the guy once she sedates him?
• Why does the cop need to be KO'd??
• He used Jessica to KO people?!? That is messed up.
• How can he control so many people at once?
• How did she learn how much force is just enough to put people to sleep rather than KO? How many times did she get it wrong?
• WHY IS THIS MAN SO OBSESSED WITH HER?
• Okay, but like that is another victim of his antics that remembers being controlled by him. You could use him in the court case if you sent him to that lady.
• Aww, I thought she was going to come clean about KOing her for a second there.
• AKA 99 Friends
• If this lady knows so much about the affair, why doesn't she just do the dirty work and get the pictures herself?
• It's because Jessica told him that she wasn't actually dead.
• These people are crazy.
• Not a little kid! C'mon man!
• Wow. So ungrateful. Keep a better eye on your kid lady.
• That's sweet of him to give her that to protect herself.
• I really hope she didn't do anything stupid, he seems sweet enough when he isn't being controlled.
• Does she actually know 99 "gifted" people?
• Dang, it's her own friend. That sucks.
• AKA The Sandwich Saved Me
• She has an office job now?
• She straight-up broke that machine.
• Ma'am, he could be doing worse things then google you ... he could be taking advantage of his cop job and do full searches of you.
• Why do we need costumes for a one-time thing?
• Are we getting flashbacks? Is that what these moments are? Why is there not more indication?
• Yeah, because the black beanies and glasses don't make you all look suspicious or anything.
• Who are these meatheads?
• I'm surprised the shocky doesn't hurt her more.
• They were so close!!!
• Now we know, look for the tracker before stopping the car.
• So how come the guys didn't get free of their mind control when he went down?
• It's so crazy how people are willing to commit crimes to get some extra money that could potentially end their free lives.
• How did he get somebody in the prison to take the girl out while he was still sleeping?
• Did she break one of his teeth?
• What do the pictures do for him?
• AKA You're A Winner!
• It's nice to see him getting sober.
• Why in the world would she want somebody to beat her up?
• Why didn't she just mention it to the lawyer? Not to mention, it could be used against the attacker in the lawsuit.
• I really do not understand his obsession with her and needing her picture...
• Infect? With what?
• Girl, you need to just come clean to him already.
• I wonder what his wife's powers were that the British guy was using her...
• There's a cover-up to the cover-up?
• I thought the bus driver was the guy she went to see that was on the machine and wanted her to KO him?
• To be fair, she wanted to tell you she just also didn't want to lose you at the same time.
• Oh good, lawyer lady thought to take the fetus for testing.
• Why does he need the house? Is he trying to start a life with her? Is he that crazy?
• Oh, it's her childhood home, huh? That makes it weirder...
• AKA Top Shelf Perverts
• I realized why this dynamic of KillGrave and Jessica feels so familiar; it makes me think of Rumplestiltskin and Emma's dynamic from OUAT.
• Why did she wait so long to jump out of the train's way? And why did she jump onto the opposite platform?
• How did she not notice that faster? And why did he need to do that to him anyway? It's not like she was returning the advances...
• Why does she care who comes out of Jess' apartment? Get over yourself.
• If the bar is closed during the day, why do they leave the door unlocked?
• Why 75% of the assets? That is crazy. Try fighting for 50 and call it a day...
• "I'm not gonna scream" ... proceeds to scream.
• ...She really jumped in the river to pull out the body? Jesus.
• How did British man figure out what she was doing???
• So are the detectives and such that aren't being mind-controlled going to remember all this so that they can focus on arresting him? Or do we have the internal office cameras recording at least?
• How can he get mad at them for their phone ringing?
• DANG IT, HE KNOWS TO GET RID OF THE EVIDENCE!
• What is that horrible sound and why is it on repeat??
• Is Reuben on the spectrum and not fully developed and that is why she treats him like he is 5?
• So you're telling me that even the blonde sister who "adopted her" didn't like her at first? That's nuts.
• AKA WWJD?
• Why did he think setting it up like this would make her happy?
• I don't know how I feel about her choice of breakfast components and how she assembled them.
• I know he wants to know more about her but doesn't he stop to think that maybe she doesn't want to relive these moments?
• Aww, he was treated like 11 from Stranger Things.
• Is this how he got his powers or did he have them before the testing?
• Seriously? Can't we do just a little longer than the time the trip is said to take?
• Why was he holding it so far in his mouth?
• Do we really think he is going to turn over a new leaf and be a good guy?
• Is he only willing to be a hero if he has her?
• Oof, that makes sense why she blames herself for her family dying.
• Somebody has attachment problems.
• Why does he have Jess' phone?
• Dang. She put the two of them to sleep in order to get him to a point of knocking him out? This is insane.
• Jesus. Why in the world did he repurpose it to take out the neighbor lady?? But also, I thought once he was knocked out, his mind control was nullified...
• AKA Sin Bin
• How in the world did she get him all the way to that safe house place on her own?
• Why did she put water in his box? Oh, never mind.
• How did Patsy know to go find him?
• Going up clearly is not working, why are we continuing to go up?
• Why wasn't the camera rolling this entire time?!?
• Want back in to what??
• How come he hasn't just tried to let himself out this entire time if there are open and close wheels on both sides?
• Help me? Help him what?
• Should you really be saying that on a recorded line?
• Why in the world was his mother attending the sessions?
• Does he have powers too?!?
• What evidence did she send to the guy???
• Are we still recording this with video too?
• Wow, instead of breaking him, he is making up with his parents?
• We let her go in with a weapon?!?
• Uhoh, we broke the electric button...
• Oh thank god she didn't have any more in there.
• That's a good question, why didn't it affect her?
• AKA 1,000 Cuts
• SHE DID IT?!? SHE BROKE THE ELECTRIC LINE?!?
• It's a virus? Is that why it doesn't work through walls and radios and phones?
• SHE KEPT THE REMAINS FOR WHAT?!?
• I swear if he KOs that detective it's going to be very sad.
• I think this guy is going crazy.
• NOW WHY DID HE NEED TO DO THAT?!?
• I thought he wanted to start being a hero? Why is he still causing such problems?
• Why is she taking the time to go home and get changed?
• How can she be her lawyer? They are both involved in the scene, but also romantically involved. That's like a double bias.
• His powers wear off after 12 hours?
• Yellow is NOT her color.
• A white horse, how cliche.
• This sister is crazy.
• Oh cool so now we are training these people to hurt Jessica, fabulous.
• How did she manage to actually hurt her?!?
• I don't understand what is going on with the Sgt.
• Hope, why? You just made this whole season of keeping you out of jail pointless.
• AKA I've Got The Blues
• So, literally, her friend wasn't even actually her friend, and the mom did it for publicity. That is insane. This whole show is insane.
• So because her friend wouldn't take her, she lies and takes a taxi instead. Can't imagine that bill being very cheap...
• Why did she just run out in the street like that?
• Why didn't she just go to the hospital? Why is she putting serranwrap.
• 2 things; first, why is she having so many more flashbacks now than before? Second, she didn't always have her powers? Did it come from the accident?
• What in the world did he do to that body? How do we know it is the scientist?
• What is wrong with Sgt?
• OH! It wasn't the scientist that she was looking at, it was the detective.
• How many little red candies can he take before he ODs?
• How is she getting extra powers if she took the wrong colored candy?
• Forcing your daughter to be bolemic is crazy.
• Wow. That's messed up. She just told him to go finish the job and KO...
• EXCUSE ME BUT WHO SET THAT UP?!? DID HE DO IT TO HIMSELF OR WAS IT STUPID BRAIN BRITISH GUY?!?
• AKA Take A Bloody Number
• Is this the first time we are actually hearing Luke's full name??
• Why is dad helping him??
• I thought Jessica told her to stay away from her daughter?
• Not her reaching through the broken window to lock the door ... useless.
• I mean atleast they found a spot he will be at eventually.
• I thought mom didn't know where she lived?
• So, IGH may be who is making the mutants? Are they mutants or Inhumans?
• I mean, are you really surprised he has a middleman picking up and delivering? It's just like he did with your friend in your building to spy on you.
• I thought that man was going to cut his tongue or uvula out, not fall down on them and stab himself through the neck.
• I thought he was going home? Why is he still in the building helping the crazy sister?
• He asks for rest, and you make him blend himself instead??
• Wow, he planned everything that far out?
• I really don't understand why he wants to torture her so much. All because she doesn't want to be in his life.
• I thought his skin was indestructible? How was she able to pew pew him?
• AKA Smile
• He is such a chicken.
• How did that not go into his eye and suck the liquid out of his eye? Actually, scratch that, how does going through the eye allow you to extract spinal fluid? Or did she say cranial fluid? I don't even remember at this point.
• THEY USED THE FETUS TO MAKE HIM STRONGER??
• I'm not gonna lie, I was super confused by the random music cutting in and out at first, had to pause the show while it was going in order for me to actually figure out it was the show.
• He said goodbye to her, does that mean he no longer cares to keep her alive?
• What is Patsy going to do to help stop them from fighting?
• Uh oh, she lost her headphones.
• I really hope that Jessica and Patsy have some secret thing going on right now and that she isn't actually going to go with him.
• I LOVED how she looked over his shoulder at Patsy when she said 'I Love You'.
• It was that easy to snap his neck and it took us 13 hours to get to this point?!?!?!?! Wow. Just wow.
• They all want her to be their personal body guard/hit for hire.