Wednesday, July 1, 2026

Marvel Movie Reviews w/ Rambo - The Avengers (2012)

 

This movie is a solid piece in the collection of hero movies! The action is pretty well continuous, and you don't have much time to sit and wonder why you are watching something that may not be important to the storyline. There is also the plus side that, generally speaking, you do not need to worry about watching other movies beforehand to fully understand the premise of this movie. In fact, I almost wonder if having watched the movies that come before fills me with more questions than answers sometimes. Although it is truly hard to know since I have already watched the movies from before. 

!!! SPOILERS BELOW !!!

  • Who is that voice?
  • Joint Dark Energy Mission? Why are we messing with dark energy? Doesn't that name kind of scream bad idea? Or is that just a bad juju kind of feeling?
  • Is the tesseract the cube they collected from the water when they went looking for Captain America? Why are they only testing now? 70 years after it was retrieved...
  • Why are we calling it a she?
  • Gamma radiation? Why isn't it green instead of blue?
  • Excuse me, but that green arrow-looking guy is not the Hulk! Where are either of the guys from the two different movies??
  • Also, who is this girl dressed in all black? That is not our red headed russian beauty we have grown to love from Iron Man.
  • Oh! That's how Loki gets out of his eternal space slumber!
  • We thought that boomerrang-looking thing was a spear? It isn't long enough in my book.
  • Did Loki just take over control of Hulk? And that security guy?
  • Free from freedom? No comment.
  • Wish we could've had more of an origin story for SHIELD and their logo and who had the idea... although I guess that is where their show comes into play huh?
  • Is the lady in black the girl from Thor? No... she doesn't have a sweet enough personality from what I can tell. Not to mention how would she go from a scientist studying the bridge to a super-secret spy? I can imagine her helping work on the tesseract but not handling a pew pew and doing flips like a gymnast.
  • How are we explaining this event to the people?
  • Where do the helicopter blades go when they break off from hitting the ground like that?
  • How the heck did our redheaded beauty end up being held captive in Russia??
  • How can we know exactly where she is but not be extracting her? Although I guess if she is there on purpose and they know she can get herself out that may be why.
  • Ah yes, the agonizing screams and beatings that are hold music, very nice.
  • OH! HE ISN'T THE HULK! HE IS GREEN ARROW! Why haven't we watched any Green Arrow origin stuff yet then? 
  • OH! That's right, the Green Arrow is DC, not marvel; the guy I am thinking of is Hawkeye... but don't we end up making Hawkeye a girl in purple later on? Regardless, WHERE IS HIS ORIGIN STORY?!?
  • So wait, Hulk is part of SHIELD but doesn't know he is part of SHIELD?
  • I don't know if I have ever seen Black Widow get teary eyed... I could be wrong though.
  • Why does the door for this room full of monitors look like a vault door?
  • What do you mean the Avengers initiative was turned down already? When was it even proposed?
  • How many punching bags do you think he had already gone through in this session?
  • What if somebody posed themselves to take a shot at Tony as he was on top of the building getting changed out of his suit?
  • I don't remember, has Tony always had Stark Tower? 
  • The answer to that is no.
  • "His first name is Agent." lol
  • Is Loki not actually on Earth, or did he just transport while sitting down?
  • Wait, are we exposed to Thanos this early on? Is that grey-skinned, multi-fingered, masked being Thanos?
  • How did Banner and Capt. meet?
  • Where do the planes go when it goes underwater?
  • OH ITS NOT A SUB ITS A PLANE
  • Crazy
  • How is it determined if the female officer wears pants or a skirt? Because I see both within that command deck area.
  • Why did Capt. give him $10?
  • How does a spectrometer on the roof help look for gamma rays? I thought it needed an amount of the substance under some type of pressure to determine the elements? What kind of spectrometer are we asking them to put on the roof?
  • How can you call it a match if it's only 69%?
  • Did Loki go out and buy a suit to blend in or did he wave his hand to change clothes?
  • Speaking of Loki in a suit, he really does make me think of Rumplestiltskin.
  • The answer? He just changes his clothes however he likes...
  • His "spear" is much longer and more staff-like now.
  • Why did everyone just stop screaming and kneel down? Did he cast a spell on them?
  • I thought they wanted to change Capt. uniform?
  • Capt. is like, oh yeah, baby, I finally have somebody to go full strength on.
  • Why is Stark's last name, as is Banner's, but Capt. is first name? Technically, title, not even first name. Is it a respect thing?
  • How did Thor get back to Earth? Did they fix the bridge? Why hasn't he gone to see his girl?
  • "We need a plan of attack! - I have a plan. Attack."
  • Bifrost? What's that?
  • I love that Thor does not care what evil things Loki has done; he just wants his brother back.
  • How can his suit handle holding 400% of its power capacity?
  • Would we consider Capt.'s shield as stronger than Thor's hammer since it made a big gong noise instead of crumbling?
  • How has Loki heard of Hulk?
  • Sure, claim him as your brother until it means that you are also crazy, then mention that he is adopted.
  • Stark is a nerd.
  • Why does the reactor only last a year? Doesn't the one in his chest last him the rest of his life?
  • What contact has Earth had with Thor since his movie? Why do they know to protect the girl for him so that he wants to help them?
  • How does Loki know so much about all of them? Does he have an inside source?
  • Why do villains always just spill their plans?
  • Do you think Loki thought he was hitting on Black Widow?
  • If all of these Avengers are against weapons of mass destruction, why does SHIELD keep recruiting them for tasks they will be against? There has to be another option.
  • I still don't fully understand, why did Loki want Hulk?
  • Not Hulk literally breaking through the ground trying to pick up Thor's hammer.
  • OF COURSE THE TARGET IS ANGRY!
  • They are going to be so mad when they realize it's Hawkeye who is doing this to them.
  • Ooo, Thor managed to crack the glass.
  • I don't Loki's double ability.
  • Stark's suit got messed up.
  • I'm not gonna lie, tossing the bloody cards at them like that makes it seem like it's their fault that Colson died but they were literally doing everything they could to help save the ship and everyone on it.
  • Thor did not look like himself walking though that field initially.
  • Is Hawkeye back to being himself now? Maybe we should have him restrained just in case...
  • Why has nobody bothered trying to find Thor or Hulk yet? Like Stark could go flying around finding them.
  • That's manipulation! Using the cards to make them wanna become the Avengers.
  • Why did we need to use Stark tower? Is it the highest point or something? Or is it because of his green energy?
  • Why DID Stark take off his armor to go into his tower? Wouldn't it have been smarter to leave it on in case of a fight?
  • Oh, that's right, he has all the gadgets that can make him have a suit and any point in time. I wonder how it senses that he is in danger, though.
  • How come in some scenes, Thor's outfit looks Navy Blue in color but then in other scenes it looks grey and black.
  • Why was Hulk's tranformation early so hard for him and so long but then he goes and purposefully changes to fight the aliens and he does it within seconds seemlessly?
  • Why is Capt in charge? Because he was the first by age?
  • What kind of arrows is he shooting?
  • The alien weapons kind of make me think of the Mandalorian weapons...
  • The fact that there is no sign of the military sending big booms to help with this is kind of crazy tbh.
  • Oops, may have scratched the Stark Tower sign just a little lol
  • I love Hulk's reaction to Loki saying he won't be bullied. Like sir, you are a ragdoll.
  • Director Fury really putting his life on the line going against the Board to stop a nuclear pew pew from taking out the civilians.
  • Kind of smart of Stark to guide the pew pew into the portal.
  • What does the military do with all the alien tech after this battle is done and over? Do they melt it down to use themselves, drop it into the sea, like what happens?
  • Not Hulk saving Stark just to toss him off to the side when they land xD
  • It's crazy how the world can love and appreciate things/people and the governing agencies are against it because it means they are essentially useless.
  • I still can't believe we get introduced to Thanos so early on in the series and I never knew it!
  • They really went out for Swarma...crazy.

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