Marvel Movie Reviews w/ Rambo - Spiderman: No Way Home (2021)

  

This is another movie that I was surprisingly enthralled in, even though I thought I would dislike it. I especially enjoyed that even though the world was against Peter, he did not lose his kind heart that Aunt Mae constantly reminded him of and that he wanted to do good by her even in her passing. It was also very nice for Spidey to go back to his routes of not actually wanting to hurt anybody. His other two versions seemed all too happy to just finish KOing their villains again while the Holland rendition wanted to treat them like people and help cure them. I do wish they would have done a better job of explaining what it meant for him to be wiped from their memories initially, had me super confused and panicing about the previous movies in Marvel and how they would be affected.

!!! SPOILERS BELOW !!!

• Dude? Really? Mysterio is the greatest superhero in history? Iron Man LITERALLY DIED to bring you all back.
• The spiderman punched me comment is giving police brutality...
• Well, time for Pepper to put Spidey into hiding.
• Where is Nick Fury in all of this? Did anybody think to call him back to planet?
• Is that guy related to Mysterio? Like jesus he has it out for them.
• Is that guy with the red glasses related to the mysterio guy? OH! It's Dardevil!
• You really think you're going to get into any college as a criminal??
• But are you actually on his side? But also, why would you want him back at the school?
• Oh lord, Flash is a different kind of annoying.
• Why would he even want to go back to public school?
• Aww man. It's not just Spidey who can't get in to any colleges, it's his friends too. That sucks.
• Is Flash even actually smart????
• He sees the Doctor Strange face in the decor and I assumed he was going to go ask for time to be reversed to fix this but then I remembered that they don't have the stone anymore... So what is he going for?
• Why is there so much snow inside?
• Lol He almost slipped on the snow.
• Oh, he did go to ask to go back in time ... BUT THERE IS NO STONE.
• The spell of what?
• How does it make everyone forget he is spiderman? Shouldn't we just make them forget about Mysterio instead? Wouldn't that be smarter? Then they forget both right?
• "What is a Ned?" lol
• Y'know, maybe we should have discussed this spell before starting to write it...
• Yeah, nobody ever really thinks about calling the colleges to plea their case.
• Yeah, but y'know, it was more than just the college thing that made him want to wipe people's memories.
• They cut him off of the network? Thats messed up. They know the truth don't they? Or no, actually they don't... there were aliens there not actual agents. Fury should have told them what he was doing...
• Is that the actual Doc Oct from the original series?
• GO OUT THE OTHER DOOR MA'AM. Why are people so stupid???
• I'm glad he thought the extra legs looked like Oct's too because that was my first thought when we first saw them.
• What did he just do to his suit? He copied the color.
• Lol Peter hacked his suit in turn, that is funny.
• Aww, she is gonna help him get everyone into school.
• OOO IS SHE GOING TO SLAP HIM? I want to see her slap him! Aww, she didn't slap him.
• Green goblin too? Dang.
• Um, how did he just get transported?
• Ooo Doctor Strange is helping.
• Why and how did he ... oh. That's messed up trapping him.
• Looks like it is starting to melt atleast.
• "Scooby doo this shiz."
• Did that baby head just move??
• He is still trying to get green out of the suit?
• Wait, did he take the outer fabric layer off the suit tech?
• ...Did he just send a tree into that prison cell?
• Wait, Sandman is good?
• Yeah, the public is gonna hate you for turning off the power grid.
• I'm glad that the lizard acknowledged that the elctro guy doesn't look the same.
• Oh, so its the actual OG goblin, I thought it was gonna be his son.
• Aww, he is confused by the new world.
• What do you mean this isn't your problem??
• How funny would it be if the newspaper version of the bugal editor knew Peter was Spider-Man and he got transported here, and they had to green-screen the two versions of himself talking to himself.
• Ooo, he put the skin back on his tech suit.
• Is that the box with the name that somebody turned into like a wrap song thing and it's just him saying machenadelafleur on repeat?
• ...What's the point of wearing the eye if it doesn't have the infinity stone in it?
• Why do we just punch everybody out of their bodies now?
• I don't know, those other people who would manipulate the world in the glass realm did it a lot cooler.
• Okay Merida, trying to change their fate.
• He broke the mirror world.
• How did he know to take the ring?
• Okay but if you fix them so that they can go back and survive then the Spideys will die.
• Is Ned going to become like Doctor Strange now?
• Fresh water or salt? What you mean youre purposefully adding salt to the water? Are you trying to be funny because he is an octopus?
• Where is Happy in all this anyway?
• Imagine turning all the Spidey villains into good guys and making an Avengers team of just them lol.
• I thought the funny feeling was going be Peter splitting into the 3 different versions but no it's him sensing the evil in goblin?
• Man, the electro guy was so close to being drained too ... Also, I thought the sandman was on our side? Why is he so wishy washy?
• Does nobody else live in these condos?
• I thought the Goblin hid his gear?
• Aww, Aunt Mae was just trying to help and now he is gonna have some blunt force trauma and probably internal bleeding.
• So did this Peter never have an Uncle Ben? What happened to his parents? Who was Aunt Mae related to?
• Happy is going to be devastated. You destroyed his place, his fabricator, and the love of his life.
• I thought his suit was bulletproof?
• Wasn't MJ supposed to hit the button on the box if things started going sour?
• Oh, this is how the other Peter's get in?
• OH! They were already here they have just been wondering around.
• So when grandma asks for you to crawl you do it but if MJ does you say it's ridiculous.
• Why is the portal still open?
• So his portal closes but the other one stayed open forever?
• So how come the OG OG spidey doesn't have his suit?
• Didn't both the other Spideys lose their Uncle Ben? Why did the one choose to comment on Gwen instead of Ben?
• Did we essentially just make our own blowtorch?
• Did Peter blow a blood vessel in his eye? Why is it still red like that?
• When did we start putting a shield in the Statue of Liberty's hand? I bet the French are highly upset we are modifying the gift they gave us, but also, how is the statue going to be balanced now?
• Why are they wearing identical suits? Shouldn't the one be more blue?
• They did not coordinate this very well did they...
• Did y'all really just run in the portal??
• Aww, Doc Oct was pretending to be evil again. Still hate him
• Only 12 hours?
• What does mixing a green goblin sphere with the cube do to the spell?
• Aw man, Spiderman 3 looks like he is ready to bawl his eyes out after saving MJ. Good thing he learned his lesson and grabbed onto her this time instead of just using the stretchy web stuff.
• Why does the goblin want Peter to KO so much? It's not like Peter has never KOd somebody before.
• So calm. Such a straight and sincere face.
• Is Spidey 2 going to die now?
• But if nobody ever knows he existed, then who is going to fill the void in all of the battles he helped with? Are they going to forget that those battles and moments in their lives or will somebody else be the one saving them? Who gets the kids out of the elevator in the Washington Monument? Who takes the glove part of the way across the field in Endgame? What becomes of all those moments in people's minds?
• Will Doctor Strange remember because he is casting the spell?
• So they still remember Spiderman? So is Spiderman still part of the Avengers then?
• So she still has the necklace, what memory does she have of how she got it?
• How did he get money to rent a space? How did he get an ID?
• What happened to his old suit? Why did he make a new one?
• Not the School House Rock reference with 3 is a majic number...
• Is that the sandman? Or the lizard man? Who is this person trying to learn the history of the world?
• OH! IT'S VENOM! ... He left a part behind though.
• Somebody is getting married?
• What does Wanda know about the multiverse? Are her powers indeed like Doctor Strange's then?

Marvel Movie Reviews w/ Rambo - Eternals (2021)

  

Unlike when I jokingly posted the Endgame Review as a zero-star-rated film, this rating is not a joke. This story was both overcomplicated and yet oversimplistic all at the same time. It involved Greek mythology but then tried to explain it in terms of the Marvel universe and alien life. And absolutely none of it seemed to actually involve the Marvel timeline other than the question posed early on of why did the Eternals not help with any of the battles the Avengers faced. I would not recommend watching this movie and honestly I think it is a great thing that the sequel got cancelled. I am interested to know though, how the comic version of this storyline played out. Was it a newer comic or one of the OG stories like Spiderman? 

!!! SPOILERS BELOW !!!

• We couldn't have something reading the text as it scrolled up my screen? What if I wasn't paying full attention yet? What if I can't read that fast?
• So was Quill's father an Eternal?
• Why was the father so calm when he said to run?
• Why was that blue flying Eternal guy with laser eyes essentially Superman?
• Is this supposed to be Earth? What is this prehistoric dino thing? Why are the people not scared of those with the powers or the fact that they have advanced technology?
• The one Eternal guy looks like the extra guy from Doctor Strange.
• I still don't understand why we shifted away from the traditional Marvel intro with their signature sound and the comic book montage.
• Eternals are untouchable?
• Nope, definitely touchable, just maybe not that one specific girl?
• So does each Eternal have a specific different power or do they have a collection of powers, OR do they all have the same powers and just excel at different ones at different times?
• Is this wire muscle monster related to those ones they fought at the beginning of time?
• Is he in shock? Or is sarcasm his coping mechanism?
• I'm glad he asked the question we were all thinking, why didn't they help with Thanos... I am curious to know if Thanos' snap impacted their population too, because at that point, her silly comment about not wanting to prevent humans from developing should have been nullified.
• These Eternals use these same pictorial screens as Stark.
• Why don't the Eternals age? I understand being Eternal and therefore immortal but were they not all babies at one point that grew up? Or did they seriously just come to be at the age they display as?
• They brought sign language with them?
• Are we just watching them all do infighting amongst themselves?
• Is this the first time they were all sent on a mission? Have they not helped other planets build better worlds for themselves?
• ...He is telling the world about the Eternals?
• I am so lost trying to follow along with this movie...
• The emergence?? Are we doing another Thanos moment??
• Their memories get restarted every time they go to a new planet?
• I appreciate that this omnipotent power is very open and honest with what is doing but why was any of this necessary? Also, does each species have their own Eternals?
• The omnipotent one made the devients too? Why was ANY of this necessary?!? Would life not exist at all without this omnipotent one?
• I just realized the monster looks like an axolotl.
• She turned it into a tree?
• Now he has a human form? And a voice?
• Wow, Superman in a Marvel movie...
• I like this guy's sass, best part of the movie so far.
• There was a whole city under their ship.
• She's just casually been living in the ship buried underground?
• Why are we talking about taking humans to a different planet that will probably also have the stupid seed in the planet? Why not just save Earth?
• Well, that answered my internal question I had, did the snap delay the emergence thing, yes.
• HE KILLED HER HIMSELF?!?
• This thing is huge, how was it growing inside the Earth completely undetected?
• It's absolutely absurd to think that this is happening post-Endgame, and absolutely none of the Avengers went to respond to a giant robot thing coming out of the Earth.
• He really couldn't stand to continue living on Earth with them after breaking the rules so he went and flew into the sun?
• 6 years later, gets learners permit, "so when are we going to space dad?"
• Is he secretly an Avenger?
• I thought they stopped it??
• And now that one Eternal turned human is going to be left on Earth to die.
• Why do all these alien races think they can just judge the planet and annihilate us if they don't like us?
• A troll??
• Did he just say Starfox? Like Nintendo? Also, he is related to Thanos? Is that her boyfriend that was about to tell us a family secret before she was taken away?
• So not her boyfriend that showed up on the ship, he has a death sword instead.
• WHO'S VOICE WAS THAT??!?

Marvel Movie Reviews w/ Rambo - ShangChi (2021)

  

Definitely not my favorite of the Marvel movies. I'm not opposed to watching it again, I do enjoy the casting choices. (Especially the girlfriend's actress who is also Siffuu in the Disney movie about Raya.) I just felt like the storyline was very slow and that the buildup was not as cool as people make it out to be. The Tokyo Drift parts were pretty cool though. 

!!! SPOILERS BELOW !!!

• I wish I had hair as healthy-looking as his is.
• What connects the rings to one another to be able to maneuver like that?
• He is very powerful, yet he is so small and frail-looking.
• I know she is holding her own fighting him but him having the rings is unfair.
• Little did she know lol.
• Wait a second, that chubby guy with the beard recording the video seems familiar, where have I seen him?
• Looked it up, he is a food truck vendor on the sidewalk in Spiderman Homecoming. Wonder if he will make appearances in other Marvel movies in the future?
• All that and they still got his necklace.
• It's interesting that it only happened AFTER his mother died.
• Why does sister want to train too? Why does she need to be just like brother? Is she suppose to be training for that?
• So as valet people, how do they just have the money for this trip?
• You speak ABC? You mean you speak English?
• That's the Doctor Strange guy! He helps protect the things!
• Wait a second. Spiderman is in New York, that means the street vendor guy was in New York. When did he move to San Francisco??
• I thought she sent him the address?
• It's a trap!
• Why are there no standing planks out on that scaffolding?
• There are, it's just not on each level.
• It looked like a lot further of a fall until they all made eye contact with one another.
• What is the significance of the pendents?
• They went through all of that just for them to get captured? They really suck at winning.
• He sounds proud to have his son back home.
• So he originally wanted this future for himself? What changed his mind?
• I think it is a little funny that he is including the outsider in all of these conversations.
• The pendents are dragon eyes!!!
• Is she imprisoned or is she dead? I thought she died...
• That's a lot of furniture and such for somebody in a prison cell.
• OH MY GOD IT'S THE FAKE TEN RINGS GUY!
• Where'd the sister go?
• 90 is very different from 19 buddy.
• How did he get in the seat so fast?
• Good thing that gate opens as quickly as it does...
• Maybe we should have told her this was a fast driving thing before we started driving in? How would you do this on foot?
• Ninetail foxes!!
• It's Siffuu as a horse instead of a dragon!
• So their mother IS still alive.
• Oh... never mind, she is indeed dead.
• How did she know her weapon of choice?
• Is he learning anything here? He doesn't look like he is observing, just trying to fight like his father.
• At least they were willing to let the children leave?
• Why did the bracelets look wooden in the box but metal on his arms?
• Even the big lion things get to have armour?
• I still can't wrap my head around the fact that he has lived 10 lifetimes.
• You sure you don't need help there buddy?
• You've heard of eye of the tiger, well, this is eye of the dragon!
• So many quiet moments. This fight started out cool but is very boring.
• Kamehameha!
• Why do they both have a long journey ahead of them? She doesn't even have powers.
• They're waiting? Who? And for what? Is she the new evil?