Marvel Movie Reviews w/ Rambo - Spiderman 3 (2007)

This film gets a lower-than-normal rating from me, not because the composition of the film was bad, but just because I don't enjoy the story arc of this film, and I wish that Peter/Spidey was not painted in such a horrible light. The way they both behave when the Venom symbiote takes over him is just unforgivable. The only good thing to come out of all this was that Harry started using his father's tools for good. 

!!! SPOILERS BELOW !!!

• Did anyone realize that there was a girl in Peter's one college class with the last name Stacey who looks like Gwen? Gwen Stacey. Spider-Gwen.
• So, does the newspaper guy hate Peter now since he took his son's fiancée away from him?
• That's cute. Aunt Mae gave him their wedding bands to propose with.
• Making Peter fight while not in his costume feels wrong.
• Wait, wait, wait, we are tying the Sandman guy to the death of Uncle Ben? He doesn't look anything like that skinny guy from the first movie!
• This is the first movie where Peter is actually actively listening to Police Radio to be a hero; this is where he fully embraces it.
• So wait, Gwen is a science geek college student but also a model?
• Doesn't Brock become a friend in the other universes? Why is he gunning for Peter's job in this one?
• Is it just me, or is the fame starting to get to his head? And WHY would he let Gwen Stacey kiss him when he is dating MJ?!?
• See! Even Spider-Man doesn't recognize him as the guy who killed Uncle Ben!
• The guy at the front desk of the restaurant is the same guy from the theater who wouldn't let him in, isn't he?
• I didn't think much of it growing up, but the guy pulling out his glasses to inspect the diamond because it is so small is kind of funny.
• OH! It isn't the same guy that we thought killed Uncle Ben in the first movie; it's an accomplice to that guy.
• Sleeping in the Spidey suit is wild. What if somebody barges in and sees him like that?
• Had the venom been tracking him since he crash-landed on the planet? Did he see the newspapers, and that is what made him want Spider-Man? Was he tracking him even from when it was out in space? We don't get much of a story here on why he is attracted to Spidey, like my boyfriend has explained that the comics do.
• When the symbiote starts to take over Spidey, it turns Peter into a wanna be emo boy.
• I feel like we are slowly reverting to that brief period where MJ and Harry were a thing, and Peter was jealous.
• Kissing MJ brought back his memories, damn.
• Ursula is so sweet; she totally has a crush on Peter, but still wants to see him happy and with MJ.
• It's hard to tell if MJ is joking with the breakup, like, is Harry making her do it, or does she actually mean it in some part of her heart?
• You can tell when Peter has the Venom suit on because he goes emo mode with his hair.
• The irony of taking out Harry with the same glider thing you took out his father with.
• Peter with the symbiote has always been my least favorite Peter; it just emphasizes what we already knew, though: he's kind of an arrogant prick who only actually cares about looking out for himself.
• I really hope Tobey Maguire did not enjoy portraying this version of Peter Parker.
• And him taking Gwen Stacey to the Jazz Restaurant that MJ is working at? So incredibly tacky.
• To be fair, before being interrupted by Peter on the piano, she seemed to actually want to sing and enjoy it, and even her coworkers seemed to enjoy having her there. He just wants to mess everything up for her and the others in his life, and that sucks.
• It's a shame that Brock just happened to be in the church that night that Peter finally started getting a grip back on reality. I think Peter should have gone to the professor instead and confessed that he had kept some and had that guy help him in a controlled environment, rather than just ripping the alien suit off and exposing somebody else to it.
• I don't remember Venom talking in these films.
• How is Harry gonna explain his half-burnt face?
• MJ is gonna end up with a concussion with all that bouncing around she is doing, she should really put a seatbelt on!
• I don't know if Venom purposefully made weaker webs to cause more destruction or if he just sucks.
• Poor Harry turned into a good guy, and then he still ended up getting hurt like his father did.
• So how come the loud noise doesn't mess with Spidey anymore? Didn't it affect him in the first film?
• Dang, Eddie completely disintegrated with that blast.
• So we can forgive the guy who ACTUALLY shot and killed Uncle Ben, but we couldn't take a second to forgive the accomplice, or Green Goblin, or Doc Ock, or even Brock.

Marvel Movie Reviews w/ Rambo - Spiderman 2 (2004)

 

It still rings true even in this second film that there is a sense of nostalgia, and that I still love Tobey Maguire as Spiderman; however, he seems to lose himself too much for me to be truly on his side in this film. And you start to realize he really isn't as much of a superhero as he could be. He doesn't go out of his way to stop crime unless it benefits him, and he says one thing but does another in terms of living his life. He is always slacking on his studies; he can't manage to show up on time for literally anything. He claims he can't love the girl who confessed her love to him in the previous film, but he also doesn't want her to be allowed to love anyone else. He honestly is the most authentic version of himself when he loses those Spidey powers and goes back to being the sweet science nerd that he was before he was bitten by the spider.

!!! SPOILERS BELOW !!!

• The opening to this film still holds that nostalgic comic book feel that we lost somewhere along the line of Marvel hero films. Yes, I know that at the point in time when this movie came out, Marvel did not and still doesn't fully own the rights to Spiderman and therefore had no say in this intro BUT they could've kept the modern intros like this a little bit y'know? The letters flashing through the comics just isn't the same vibe.
• I love that the assumption is that Spiderman stole the guy's pizzas and not that the guy is Spiderman.
• How does he suck so much with time management?
• Also, how is he so unnoticeable that people literally walk all over him?
• I thought he was the one who told Mary Jane that they couldn't be together. Why is he trying to get her to stay in love with him now?
• Can't Spider-Man take a night off? The city still portrays him as the villain anyway.
• Having the real life conversations with a random stranger in the elevator is so weird and uncomfortable lol.
• I know he doesn't think anyone is listening because he is talking into a payphone with no money on it, but what if somebody in the immediate area picked up on what he was saying and learned his truth?
• I wonder if Doc had tried on the suit with the arms before, and if there's any possibility of nerve damage from repeatedly stabbing needles into it for the neural link.
• I wonder how we even got 25 pounds of this precious element on the planet at all. Also, what do you think it's worth with there only being that much available?
• Wouldn't imploding the sun metal like that cause a black hole and start sucking everything into it?
• The nails grinding the floor like that is unrealistic and unnecessary, caused an actual chill to run up my spine.
• Y'know, Peter doesn't even go out of his way to try and fight crime; he realistically only takes care of it when it is interrupting his life. So again, why can't Spider-Man take a night off?
• How does Ant Mae not end up having a heart attack while she was being kidnapped?
• How come it's only his web power that is having issues? He can still climb walls and fall hundreds of feet without a scratch ... I take that back, he is struggling with the wall climbing too. And his vision is going blurry.
• Does he not want to be Spider-Man anymore?
• He seems happier when he isn't Spiderman, so why would he want to be Spiderman?
• He really needs to get over MJ. He could have any girl, and instead, he wants to pursue one he can't have, only when he can't have her.
• Even without his powers, he still has to try to be a hero.
• This is the second time Mary Jane was kidnapped by a villain.
• I wonder if the Incredibles got their idea for Syndrome from Doc Ock.
• Why was his first thought to try to use his feet as a break rather than the webs?
• How would straining his arms to stop the train cause his suit to rip around his biceps?
• Quite surprising nobody is trying to snap a picture of him with his mask off, god knows in today's day and age they would be telling the world within seconds.
• It was a nice thought, the citizens standing up for Spiderman, but it wasn't very smart of them...
• The super nova sucking in the entire building is making me think of Big Hero 6 and the failed transportation through black hole experiment that happened.
• The water doesn't actually appear to be stopping the giant sun ball... What is going to stop it from pulling ships and stuff into it as they sail above it?
• And now the evil that was the Green Goblin returns.

Marvel Movie Reviews w/ Rambo - Hulk (2003)

 

There's just something about late 90s and early 2000s cinema that hits different. I don't know if maybe it's just a feeling of nostalgia, but movies like 'Honey, I Shrunk the Kids', 'Baby Geniuses', 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory', and so many others; their opening credits are just top tier to me. Their instrumental music interludes, the imagery helping to paint a picture of what is to come in the movie, and honestly, even just the more mellow tone the coloration takes; it is still an action-packed movie that takes hold of your attention, but in a different and, to me, better way.

!!! SPOILERS BELOW !!!

• It's very sad to think that this hippie-looking person of a father figure, would dare experiment on his own baby. His only baby. Like, sir, don't you want a normal, healthy offspring first?
• I thought Bruce got his powers from his girlfriend's father doing experiments? Maybe that is a different rendition, or maybe it's just that the father helps finalize those experiments, and I haven't gotten far enough into the movie yet to fully remember it.
• Holy time skip. From toddler to college student. Is that even still his mom, or is it a step/foster mom?
• Can you imagine if he had Hulked out as a toddler? He would be like Jack-Jack from The Incredibles when he turns into that little red demon thing.
• Is Bruce working on an experiment related to the one that was done on him, or does it just unfortunately end up triggering his own inner biology experiment to initiate? 
• I'm gonna be honest, I don't actually remember this bit of the movie where he is experimenting on frogs...
• Why doesn't he question the dog in the lab?
• Have I ever mentioned how much I hate businessmen and how they think they can just take whatever they want and try to make money off it? If a scientist wants to do something for the greater good rather than for profit, they should be able to do so.
• Why in the world would you jump in front of something that is going to kill somebody else? Like them, impulses to be a hero were strong in him.
• Shouldn't their lab be closed down after a near-miss accident like that?
• The door opening to let the Hulk into the mind of Bruce is a very nice symbolic touch to his dream.
• Who is this crazy old man? Is it his bio dad?
• Yes, it is, duh.
• Only 30 years of jail time for conducting illegal experiments on a toddler? Crazy.
• Dude, the phone only rang once; doesn't that kind of imply he picked the phone up enough that whoever is on the other end would hear the conversation?
• ...Is his dad there as a scientist or a janitor? Because I figured he was a janitor of some sort, but he's conducting experiments using the gamma rays on the rats...
• The military dad knows about Bruce's real identity and his birth parents.
• So was it just all too much for him, and that is what made him hulk out? Obviously, the recent increase of gamma radiation in his body has had an effect, too, but what angered him? The stuff his father said?
• Is the father proud of himself for doing this to his son? Does he regret doing experiments on him as a child?
• Is his dad hitting on the girlfriend while she is trying to figure out how she can help the situation at hand?
• "How could anyone forget a thing like that!" #ChildhoodTrauma
• Y'know, my dad has made threats to my boyfriends before about treating me right, but it's different coming from a military father who could actually abuse his power and say anything to put you away in jail if you go near his daughter. Also, that is generally unacceptable; nobody should threaten anyone else, regardless of whether they are joking.
• Why tf does he need to send the dogs to KO Betty? What did she do?
• So why does anger trigger the Hulk out? Why not excitement?
• Also, why were there already people with weapons sitting outside Bruce's place, ready to attack him?
• Why does Bruce turn into a big, green version of himself, while the dogs just get glowing green eyes and look more muscular?
• Maybe let's not smash the dogs into the car containing the girl you love... There are other things, like oh, I don't know, THE GROUND.
• I don't know if calling her dad was the best idea, but I mean, you get help however you can.
• It's crazy how much a town deteriorates without actually having human input.
• Was it really necessary to break down the door of an already abandoned building? Couldn't they have just opened it up?
• Also, we are so concerned with Bruce and keeping him contained that we are no longer looking for his father, who is literally out there trying to recreate his son within himself!
• It is really weird that they literally grew up in the same military town and then drifted apart but somehow ended up being in the same lab and falling in love anyway.
• Blondie douche is annoying. Why do you need to take over the experiment? Oh, duh, money. I hate him.
• How was the baby a monster from birth? I thought he was pumping the toxins into him and making him into an experiment? Oh, was he conducting the experiment on himself and passed on the genetics through his sperm, and the toxins he was injecting were actually just him trying to cure Bruce?
• Doesn't Blondie realize that by turning Bruce into the big green monster, he is now not able to be shot without it hurting him? AND THEN, he goes and tries to shoot an explosive at the Hulk, thinking that is going to do anything? He really is dumb.
• The comic book panel transition was kind of cool.
• Angry man? That is what the government is calling him? Wild.
• What desert were they keeping him in? I assumed it was still American soil... But the music they are using is very much 'Mummy' or Egyptian vibes if that makes sense.
• He's just out here enjoying the peace of the desert and the natural beauty it has to offer, and y'all wanna come in with the military and ruin that for him! You are the problem, not the solution!
• Man, I thought he was gonna throw the missile like it was a dart, but it started tumbling over itself, which isn't very helpful.
• What explanation are y'all planning on giving the media and the general population?
• Those people falling out of the trolley are so over exaggerating.
• Did we let the police know what's going on, or are they going to make the situation worse?
• Bruce's dad electrocuting himself is crazy.
• Does his dad really think he can handle all that power that is contained within Bruce? It clearly doesn't work, seeing as how the Hulk still exists after this movie.
• "Bruce couldn't survive that blast," sure, sure. Whatever you say, military man.
• How exactly did he get to the jungle?
• The comic book credits are a nice touch, wish they still made credits fun like that.