Marvel Movie Reviews w/ Rambo - Hulk (2003)

 

There's just something about late 90s and early 2000s cinema that hits different. I don't know if maybe it's just a feeling of nostalgia, but movies like 'Honey, I Shrunk the Kids', 'Baby Geniuses', 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory', and so many others; their opening credits are just top tier to me. Their instrumental music interludes, the imagery helping to paint a picture of what is to come in the movie, and honestly, even just the more mellow tone the coloration takes; it is still an action-packed movie that takes hold of your attention, but in a different and, to me, better way.

!!! SPOILERS BELOW !!!

• It's very sad to think that this hippie-looking person of a father figure, would dare experiment on his own baby. His only baby. Like, sir, don't you want a normal, healthy offspring first?
• I thought Bruce got his powers from his girlfriend's father doing experiments? Maybe that is a different rendition, or maybe it's just that the father helps finalize those experiments, and I haven't gotten far enough into the movie yet to fully remember it.
• Holy time skip. From toddler to college student. Is that even still his mom, or is it a step/foster mom?
• Can you imagine if he had Hulked out as a toddler? He would be like Jack-Jack from The Incredibles when he turns into that little red demon thing.
• Is Bruce working on an experiment related to the one that was done on him, or does it just unfortunately end up triggering his own inner biology experiment to initiate? 
• I'm gonna be honest, I don't actually remember this bit of the movie where he is experimenting on frogs...
• Why doesn't he question the dog in the lab?
• Have I ever mentioned how much I hate businessmen and how they think they can just take whatever they want and try to make money off it? If a scientist wants to do something for the greater good rather than for profit, they should be able to do so.
• Why in the world would you jump in front of something that is going to kill somebody else? Like them, impulses to be a hero were strong in him.
• Shouldn't their lab be closed down after a near-miss accident like that?
• The door opening to let the Hulk into the mind of Bruce is a very nice symbolic touch to his dream.
• Who is this crazy old man? Is it his bio dad?
• Yes, it is, duh.
• Only 30 years of jail time for conducting illegal experiments on a toddler? Crazy.
• Dude, the phone only rang once; doesn't that kind of imply he picked the phone up enough that whoever is on the other end would hear the conversation?
• ...Is his dad there as a scientist or a janitor? Because I figured he was a janitor of some sort, but he's conducting experiments using the gamma rays on the rats...
• The military dad knows about Bruce's real identity and his birth parents.
• So was it just all too much for him, and that is what made him hulk out? Obviously, the recent increase of gamma radiation in his body has had an effect, too, but what angered him? The stuff his father said?
• Is the father proud of himself for doing this to his son? Does he regret doing experiments on him as a child?
• Is his dad hitting on the girlfriend while she is trying to figure out how she can help the situation at hand?
• "How could anyone forget a thing like that!" #ChildhoodTrauma
• Y'know, my dad has made threats to my boyfriends before about treating me right, but it's different coming from a military father who could actually abuse his power and say anything to put you away in jail if you go near his daughter. Also, that is generally unacceptable; nobody should threaten anyone else, regardless of whether they are joking.
• Why tf does he need to send the dogs to KO Betty? What did she do?
• So why does anger trigger the Hulk out? Why not excitement?
• Also, why were there already people with weapons sitting outside Bruce's place, ready to attack him?
• Why does Bruce turn into a big, green version of himself, while the dogs just get glowing green eyes and look more muscular?
• Maybe let's not smash the dogs into the car containing the girl you love... There are other things, like oh, I don't know, THE GROUND.
• I don't know if calling her dad was the best idea, but I mean, you get help however you can.
• It's crazy how much a town deteriorates without actually having human input.
• Was it really necessary to break down the door of an already abandoned building? Couldn't they have just opened it up?
• Also, we are so concerned with Bruce and keeping him contained that we are no longer looking for his father, who is literally out there trying to recreate his son within himself!
• It is really weird that they literally grew up in the same military town and then drifted apart but somehow ended up being in the same lab and falling in love anyway.
• Blondie douche is annoying. Why do you need to take over the experiment? Oh, duh, money. I hate him.
• How was the baby a monster from birth? I thought he was pumping the toxins into him and making him into an experiment? Oh, was he conducting the experiment on himself and passed on the genetics through his sperm, and the toxins he was injecting were actually just him trying to cure Bruce?
• Doesn't Blondie realize that by turning Bruce into the big green monster, he is now not able to be shot without it hurting him? AND THEN, he goes and tries to shoot an explosive at the Hulk, thinking that is going to do anything? He really is dumb.
• The comic book panel transition was kind of cool.
• Angry man? That is what the government is calling him? Wild.
• What desert were they keeping him in? I assumed it was still American soil... But the music they are using is very much 'Mummy' or Egyptian vibes if that makes sense.
• He's just out here enjoying the peace of the desert and the natural beauty it has to offer, and y'all wanna come in with the military and ruin that for him! You are the problem, not the solution!
• Man, I thought he was gonna throw the missile like it was a dart, but it started tumbling over itself, which isn't very helpful.
• What explanation are y'all planning on giving the media and the general population?
• Those people falling out of the trolley are so over exaggerating.
• Did we let the police know what's going on, or are they going to make the situation worse?
• Bruce's dad electrocuting himself is crazy.
• Does his dad really think he can handle all that power that is contained within Bruce? It clearly doesn't work, seeing as how the Hulk still exists after this movie.
• "Bruce couldn't survive that blast," sure, sure. Whatever you say, military man.
• How exactly did he get to the jungle?
• The comic book credits are a nice touch, wish they still made credits fun like that.

Marvel Movie Reviews w/ Rambo - Daredevil (2003)

 

I don't know why I have never seen this movie. My parents owned it on DVD. I just never watched it. And what makes even less sense is that I have seen Elektra, and I LOVED Elektra going up (along with other movies such as Charlie's Angels and Kill Bill), but I didn't even know that this had a similar combative skill to it, let alone that Elektra was LITERALLY involved in this film. You best believe that my boyfriend and I will have to do a couples costume of these two at some point in our lives.

I love the use of different audio and visual jumps that the movie utilizes to show us how we have a different perception of reality than the main character does. I hate, however, how some of the motions you can clearly see are done with fake doubles or are manipulated to appear differently than how they could and would have actually happened with real people. Not much can be expected of that, though, as even modern technology still has some of those limitations.

!!! SPOILERS BELOW !!!

• Putting the credits in braille and then having it switch to the actual letters is cool, and a nice hint at the main character being blind, but does it actually help anyone? The blind can't see the braille on the screen.
• So we don't actually get to see him get his powers?
• Oh, we get a backstory, never mind.
• He wasn't always blind?
• Ah, he went blind from the chemicals, that's also how he got his powers.
• I know he can hold his own, but isn't it wrong to bully a disabled person?
• That's so stupid that they killed his dad because he refused to lose a match on purpose.
• Does he reset those walkways on the side of the building each day, or is it just a coincidence they were there where he chose to take off from lol
• The way they go back and forth between, but we would hear, and what he hears is both cool and annoying all at the same time.
• Being blind does give him a good excuse not to be accused of the crimes, even if he should be a suspect for being involved in the court cases.
• So why does he have multiple costumes and weapons? Are they different, or just in case one gets messed up?
• Where did she get her defense skills?
• OH SHE IS ELEKTRA! I totally didn't recognize her!
• Using the rain to see her is crazy cool.
• I wouldn't have thought you could use smoke to see, but sure, I guess anything makes noise when it touches a surface if you have super hearing.
• How does she not realize that, while yes, it is his weapon/tool, he is not the one who caused her father's death?
• I want to see a fight between Elektra and Laura Croft.
• How come the dagger thing can cut through the front of her outfit and her whole body, but not through her pleather outfit afterwards?
• Oof, offering tray to the jugular has gotta hurt something fierce.
• It's gotta be some type of sin to break stained glass windows of a church.
• What kind of ammunition goes cleanly through both hands and a wooden candlestick?
• What's crazy is this isn't even really a superhero movie so much as it is just an action-packed movie.
• WAIT. ELEKTRA ISN'T ACTUALLY DEAD??

Marvel Movie Reviews w/ Rambo - Spiderman (2002)

This movie is not new to me; I saw it many times growing up. If any of the Spider-Man movies were to be a first-time experience for me, it would be any pick from the Tom Holland collection, as I have not seen them yet. Because of that, Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield have been my only two for comparison, and I have always preferred Tobey.

While a comparison of this film to a modern film may show where it is lacking in cinematic skills and character, it was one of the best of its time. Showing many fine details, such as reflecting hard choices in the eyes of the characters. If there was one thing I had to say was wrong with the movie, it would be that it takes the characters far too long to come to realizations, such as Peter not fully recognizing who the Green Goblin really was. But that is not the fault of the director; that is the fault of the author who chose to make it that way. And this is not the first time a story has had that involvement; many stories possess clueless main characters who can not see the truth until it's too late.

!!! SPOILERS BELOW !!!

• Not him stealing Peter's line about camouflage to impress the girl ... not once but twice.
• Oh, I didn't realize the spider that bit Peter was genetically mutated; I thought it was just radioactive from the lab or something.
• I also never realized that the spider that bit him was red and blue in color; now it makes sense where he got his outfit colors from.
• He couldn't even make it onto his bed, which is crazy considering he made it all the way home and up to his room.
• Should it really have only taken him one day to get over the sickness?
• The glasses really did make him look like a dork.
• Why does the banner sticking to his hand make him look like he suddenly knows what is going on? It could have just been glue or tape.
• I love that most of the people don't care how or why Peter suddenly is super cool and standing up for himself; they just like that he turned hot essentially; his friends are the only ones that actually care that he is okay.
• Why is his first thought to try climbing a wall and then jumping across the roofs?
• He has too much faith in his powers before truly knowing what he can even do.
• He forgot about poor Uncle Ben and painting, for shame.
• He doesn't need to get mad at Uncle Ben like that; he just cares about him, is all.
• The guy killing Uncle Ben is what really made Spider-Man a hero; before that, he probably would've just used it for small stuff, not catching criminals.
• It is, however, unfortunate to think that if he had just stopped that crook from the beginning instead of letting him take the elevator, he may not have KO'd Uncle Ben at all.
• I feel like there's a lot of filler with them graduating and going to New York.
• What is it with companies thinking they can just vote out the creators?? I don't understand why we give other people the ability to own more of our business than us. He had the right to become a villain, to be honest.
• Why are there 4 of them ganging up on MJ?
• Sure, let's let the Spiderman that you were about to arrest go into the collapsing building that you won't even let your firemen into, and plan on arresting him after. Like what?
• You know, you would think he would have had time to wrap his wound if he had time to get changed.
• Taking out Aunt Mae after he has already lost Uncle Ben is diabolical.
• Showing the two options falling in his eyes was a very well-done cinematic choice.
• There is NO way she would have been able to stay attached to that cable.
• Sometimes, the way the Green Goblin talks makes me think of them Italian mob bosses.
• I never realized you could see the Green Goblins' real mouth through the mesh of the mask ... why does he bear his teeth like that?
• Wait. How did Peter not realize that the Green Goblin was Mr. Osbourne? I thought he figured it out when he realized that the Green Goblin knew who he was.
• Y'know, it's really hard to understand why Harry blames Spider-Man for his father's death when his father was the literal villain.
• He doesn't know that, though, at least not yet.
• You hear about guys getting friend-zoned a lot, but the girl getting friend-zoned is something else.