Falling out of love with food and the journey back

 Hello, friends. Welcome back to my ramblings. I know it's been a while, but I don't always have much to say on the things that are going on in my everyday life that would be interesting. But I do now, so buckle up, maybe this is something you can relate to.

For the past month, I have not really found any enjoyment in food. I eat the same few meals on a rotation that doesn't change up all that much. Granted, I will eat them in different orders to add a little more variety. But myself and food haven't ever really gotten on so well. I started being a vegetarian around the age of 16-ish, and it didn't occur to me that I should keep the date. I decided to change my dietary choices in my brain, but it has been a while since I made that choice. 

For the past month, food has just not been satisfying. I am eating, you know, you have to do that to stay alive, but it just doesn't hit the spot. I don't think I could add too many new things to make food hit the spot of satisfaction. I will try to hunt for some new dishes to make, and try to let you know if it changes. I just don't know why my body is saying no, this isn't good enough.

A list of the different foods I have made that didn't hit the spot recently;

Cheese pizza, vegetarian spaghetti bolognese with garlic, oregano, cheese, and raw onion, hash browns with cheese topped with garlic and raw onion, fake roast chicken, roast potatoes, Yorkshire pudding, broccoli and cauliflower, cheese and onion sandwich, cheese on toast, cheesy chips, fake bacon sandwich, cheesy pasta with garlic, oregano, and raw onion.

I had no idea so many of the meals I have regularly, have so much cheese in them, and I am lactose intolerant.  

I don't eat fish, I am not a fan of many different vegetables, but I am still eating fruits. I wanted to say this just in case I got some judgment on the whole meal thing. Maybe one day my palate will mature a little bit to the point of being able to enjoy foods such as ratatouille, eggplant, etcetera.

I have recently tried spinach for the first time. It's actually been a whole week of me putting spinach into everything, I put it on cheese on toast, and pizza. I have even had three sandwiches for dinner this past week, and I have put them in those too. I think I am finally starting to get back to at least being okay with making something, and it actually tastes fine. I think a big part of finding my way back to enjoying the food I am eating was getting my mental health in check and also finding something new to spice things up a bit.

If you feel like you are falling out of love with something, try taking a step back and looking at it from a different angle. It doesn't just have to be food. It could be anything. For example, when I am not feeling great, and I feel like maybe this is the start of a depression spiral, I will do everything I can to not feel like I am falling even further. Having a shower is always something that makes me feel less icky, and tidying up my surroundings can help with that too. Even though tidying/cleaning can feel overwhelming, tackling the task before you can think about it too much might be the best way to go. Wake up and get on with it, don't sit doom-scrolling rotting away. Do the thing that needs to be done because eventually it will feel like a weight off your shoulders. It's the same for falling out of love with food. Try meal prep, something in the morning that will go towards your dinner in the evening. 

Things will get better; you just have to give it time. Thank you so much for reading. I hope you have a great rest of your day, and I will see you in my next post. :)

'Love, Actually: Stories of the 'Verse 2956 Contest' - A Star Citizen Short Story

 
   Our love did not start in the stars, but it's endless just as the galaxy seems to be. 

No, our love did not start in the stars, rather it started on a planet where the greens had become a muddled brown and the sun was hiding behind the smog created by growing industries. Wall-e would be disappointed in us as a society. But, I would like to think he would be proud of us as a couple. Just as Wall-e and Eve stole everyone’s hearts dancing in the dark of space, stars and fire suppressant twinkling in their eyes; our love has soared through the galaxies.

He took to the stars before I did, had to scope out the ships and make sure it was safe. We started by calling Arccorp home, Area 18 was not a very original name for a base but it was sure better then ending up trapped in Area 51. Our first jobs were not very exciting, nor were they very productive. I may or may not have crashed a few times in the process of learning how to fly my Aegis Titan. But he knew how to help me be better. Taking me out of the driver seat. That can’t always be the solution though. Sure, it works out for when we are traveling to the moon that’s veiled in a violet mist that prevents me from seeing the ground and knowing where to land. Or when we are trying to track down Kopions and he needs somebody to help man the gunnery seat. So when we made our way to New Babbage and I fell in love with the little wonderful snowboarding penguin Pico, we knew we found a new home base as well as a new way to make me a better flyer. And so, my little fluffy flight companion became a staple in every adventure we took together. My hubby would be there waiting for me with a fresh friend every time I logged on and woke up in them hotel room beds. Sometimes he even takes me to Crusader to pick up the Stormwal duo Finley and Francis to have play dates with Pico. If Pico could put out a distress beacon, I would be there. Just as I will always be there for my favorite Space Man. Being a piece of candy hunting, loot goblin, who adopts every left behind plushie and fills his cockpit with an army of plushies.

Together we have taken on new planets, discovered new creatures, collected many pieces of ‘candy’ (aka luminalia presents and lunar year envelopes), and many Pico plushie companions guiding us through the adventures we take.

Here’s hoping for many more flights through the stars and many more years of our love.

Lilly's first movie review - World Ends At Camp Z

Hello, I know it's been a little while. I have been busy working on my YouTube channel content and the podcast episodes that are due to go out in this coming month, but while I was doing some editing, I thought I would throw on some background noise like people do. 

I was scrolling through a bunch of movies, and a thought popped into my mind. I love zombie movies! I have seen so many different zombie movies, so I am going to be re-watching everything I have seen in the zombie movie genre and then reviewing them here.

When I was younger and in school, I had no social life at all. I would wake up, go to school, come home, and jump straight onto Netflix. Most of what I would watch back in the day was spooky, dark, and a bit of horror. I still love zombie movies, but don't really have time to watch as many as I originally wanted with all the different projects going on in my life, but I am now going to make time for them. I do review movies on the podcast I run with my co-host Leo, but I don't think there will be much crossover from these two different platforms, at least at the start. Just know, I will write these out first, so maybe the blog posts will be more detailed, and obviously, I will be able to speak my whole truth on a matter without a time limit.

Today's movie is World Ends At Camp Z.

This movie took so long to introduce a single zombie; it was about 53 minutes in before a single zombie had appeared on screen. For a zombie movie, I expect more zombies. The storyline was watery at best. What I mean by that is it was just so diluted. The characters are not memorable. I remember one character name, and that is it. Her name is Vanessa, so we will start there. SPOILERS AHEAD! 

Vanessa arrives at the camp that her client (her boyfriend) wants to buy, but the person she meets is a great storyteller (gives vibes of a bear and is probably a teddy bear), and the guy who ends up being everyone's lacky he mostly wears a blue coat, so I will refer to this guy as Blue. Blue doesn't like Vanessa when she arrives, but they all have to have dinner together, and she needs Blue's help. These two characters start warming up to eachother. Then her, probably crazy rich, boyfriend arrives with his friends. I can only describe these people as frat boys. There was another woman with the boys in the helicopter; this woman basically has her hands all over Vanessa's boyfriend, and it turns out the boyfriend was lying to her about what he wanted to do with the camp. Vanessa clearly deserves someone better, like maybe Blue. If that was also your train of thought, you would be wrong. They don't end up together. Blue tried to save everyone's lives, even though they treated him like dirt, but paid him well enough to shut up and get on with it, while the group of rich people partied like it was their last party ever. Well, it turns out it might actually be their last party ever. Cause they get attacked by a group of zombies, and the only two not lost in the pile of starving living dead are Vanessa and her boyfriend. Her boyfriend is like, "Oh, I will save Blue". Probably because he feels bad and has been a bit of a dirtbag. This may be the one good deed he did in his short-lived life, because oh no, that's the end of Mr.Money Bags. Boyfriend pulls Blue out of danger, then gets attacked himself. Blue and Vanessa row away from this awful situation in Blue's canoe, but oh no, he's been bitten. Guess it's bye-bye Blue. They stop by a tree, and Vanessa has to kill him because he doesn't want to become a zombie. The movie ends with Vanessa sailing away in the canoe on her own. 

This is a storyline where no one wins, and I feel like I wasted about an hour and a half. I would not recommend this movie; it would maybe be different if Blue and Vanessa got to live a long, happy life in a log cabin hidden in the woods or something. This storyline also would not have been possible if Vanessa and Mr.Money Bags decided to stay home because there was a pandemic mentioned once or twice in this movie. 

If you want some background noise of something that isn't terribly interesting, this might be great; however, if you are looking for a decent zombie movie with lovable characters that you can form an emotional attachment to, this is not for you.

I am sorry this is not the best start to the zombie movie review series that I wanted to start, but this just infuriated me so much because I wanted something decent to watch while doing some other stuff on my computer. I think I was renaming files and putting them all in the correct place. So I ended up having two things that were kind of boring going on at the same time when it could have just been one. My overall rating of this movie would be a 3/10 its only so high for what it was because I liked Vanessa when she started warming up to Blue, and the storyteller was a cool character, but he had barely any screen time. There was also a cool-looking zombie. Lots of zombie movies/tv shows have zombies that have skin rotting and peeling off them; these zombies did not. 

Thank you so much for reading. I really hope my next movie review will be far better because I have seen some great ones. Have a great rest of your day, and I will see you when I next post again. :)