Let's be honest, even in my OG Spidey movie reviews, I did not have a positive outlook on the latest iteration of him, so were you really expecting a high rating? Now, I will admit, this is my first time actually watching it and not just seeing clips or hearing it from others, and I was mildly more impressed than I thought I would be with the film. However, I do not like that we kind of skipped out on the actual origins of Spidey's powers; I always enjoyed the lab aspect and seeing what was going on with the spiders and how Peter interacted with them to the point of getting bitten. I am also rather disappointed with how childish Peter seems, but I can let the sly because WHY IS AUNT MAE SO YOUNG?!? She could be his sister with how young she appears! And another thing! Why does everyone get to know his identity so early on??? The hints to the other movies in terms of the damsel elevator save and the ferry pulling his limbs apart like the train in Toby's universe.
!!! SPOILERS BELOW !!!
- So is this a little bit of a backtrack to the big Avengers battle in New York with Loki?
- They're gonna turn themselves into villains aren't they?
- Eight years developing this tech? Really?
- They made the falcon wings?
- Isn't Happy one of Stark's people?
- Peter's documenting the whole Civil War battle is kind of funny.
- Are we really not going to get an origin story for when Peter got his powers or how Stark came across the video? Really??
- These kids are so much younger then all the ones we see in the previous two renditions of Spider-Man.
- He's just casually experimenting with making web fluid in his class? Isn't he worried about getting caught? Also, I guess that answers the question on if he makes his own webs in his body or through science.
- He is obsessed with getting called to work with the Avengers again.
- You're really gonna upcharge him for joking about your daughter when you just made that comment about his Aunt? Really?
- Why did he get undressed to put the suit on? Why doesn't he just wear the main part underneath and put the mask on when he goes to change?
- That fatter guy with the beard at the street vendor thing looked familiar, who is that?
- Stealing while wearing an Iron Mask is ruthless. Oh it's not just Iron Man they all have avengers masks!
- Why are they moving? Oh... maybe I should've just waited two seconds. lol
- Uh oh, his friend knows his secret now.
- Does everyone just flirt with his Aunt?
- So rather than an actual origin movie we are just going to have him talk it through with his friend?
- Captain America's fitness challenge? What? Wow...
- Why in the world did he just blurt that out?
- Aunt Mae is just chill with them going to a big party like this where there is probably adult beverages?
- So he can hide the suit under his regular clothes!
- Him having to run across the golf course is funny.
- "I put everything in your suit, including this heater." Maybe an instruction book would've been helpful.
- Yeah, I thought it was obvious that Stark wasn't actually in that armour.
- Their little group makes me think of the group from Guardians, the ravagers or whatever their name was.
- What good would the anti-gravity one have been?
- Is beating an unknown weapon with a hammer really the right way to approach this?
- So he CAN deposit a spider and control it!
- Why did we need a full size bus for the small group of students? Also why are we using a regular school bus instead of one of those comfy tour bus buses? New York is pretty far from DC.
- What if taking the tracker out breaks the suit?
- I REALLY think an instruction book would've been helpful...
- He's just gonna take the backpack with him?
- What is the training he was supposed to complete to unlock the full potential?
- I thought Stark didn't like KOing people? Why does his suit have a KO mode??
- Ooo he could get the suit lady to teach him all the suits abilities when he isn't actively on a mission.
- Also, he is very sassy about the suit.
- Oof, now he is trapped.
- Yeah, because Stark totally is not going to find out about all this Spider-Man webbing in his own vault...
- He did all that in 37 minutes?
- You're just going to leave your backpack and phone there for somebody to find??
- He's missing the entire decathlon. Wow.
- How did the detector not notice it and cause them to stop and frisk him??
- HE BROKE THE WASHINGTON MONUMENT?!?
- Reinstalled the parachute? How does he do that??
- Wouldn't it be easier to ease them down to the ground than to pull them up?
- I think it's funny how they say Spidey is friends with Parker like how they say that Disney Park employees are friends with the Princesses.
- Did they leave the suit tracker in DC?
- Why did Capt make all these school videos?
- Why does MJ have detention? Oh, she doesn't.....
- How in the world did he lift those lockers up?
- LMAO Baby monitor protocol. Wonder if Stark will be watching them?
- This Karen lady is too human, like Jarvis ... but worse. Why are they more human then AI? they are gonna take over the world.
- Why did we need such a deep voice?
- Peter is such a child man lol. That guy in the garage was chill though. "Nah nah man, you gotta come fix this."
- So we know he was at DC because of the news but are we not questioning how the tracker didn't move off the lamp? Or did he put it back?
- Can Tony watch the camera feed live?
- Why make the wings look like wings if it's just a hover fan thing?
- Those poor people on the ferry.
- Is doing that really gonna stop the water from getting in?
- It's the train scene from Toby's Spider-Man all over again.
- I do agree with Tony on that. If you are nothing without the suit, then you aren't a very good hero. Maybe that is why Tony is better now than he was in his first movie.
- Why is MJ everywhere in this movie but not actually adding to the plot?
- You mean to tell me he asked a girl out on THE NIGHT OF homecoming??
- OH MAN! Not the bad guy being his date's dad!
- Is dad making the connections?
- RUN PETER RUN!
- I can't decide if that guy is just like my dad or worse...
- How did he have time to call in to his minion and stage him at the door for when he comes running out?
- We love his little awkward friend and how he saved his life!
- Are we certain that the winged guy is the dad? I thought the dad controlled the winged guy...
- Why is that geek from the debate team such a butt face? He can't be a cool butt face and a geek at the same time. That just isn't fair.
- Why were the headlights on the car not on??
- How old is Peter? He can't drive yet? Dude isn't even trying to drive properly!
- What is Thor's magic belt?
- Yknow, he calls himself the guy in the chair, I'm gonna start calling him Wade from Kim Possible.
- ...Really? That is our cover up for what we are doing in the library?
- Aww, poor spidey! Atleast he isn't dead on impact.
- Don't let go Spidey.
- They're doing more damage to Stark's plane then Hydra ever did to SHIELDS...
- Who did more damage, Spidey just now or the Avengers in Wakanda?
- Why does he keep calling him Pedro? It is so disrespectful, but also I just don't understand the spanish nickname?
- So what actually makes him Spider-Man if he just has super strength? He could've been any type of hero with that, why spider?
- Why Oregon? That is like the complete opposite side of the country. Also, I guess that means MJ is not related to Lisa since she is staying... I assumed she was at the party and making snacks just because they were related, not because she actually wanted to be.
- Shouldn't you have checked that the bathroom was empty before starting to talk?
- THIS IS THE PLACE THAT ANTMAN ROBBED! ...Wait, was it being remodeled when he tried robbing it or is there some improper time overlaps between the three movies?
- What was wrong with the original suit? Also, what are we planning on telling Aunt Mae?
- So are Iron Man and Pepper together again?
- Oh good, he got the original suit and not the Iron Man one. I like this one better. Also, guess the cat is out of the bag with Aunt Mae. She is the only one to actually know his secret out of the three renditions.
- Aww, he is gonna keep Peter's identity a secret?
- I feel like this post-credit scene is a rickroll on us, and that is not cool!
