Marvel Movie Reviews w/ Rambo - Spiderman 2 (2004)

 

It still rings true even in this second film that there is a sense of nostalgia, and that I still love Tobey Maguire as Spiderman; however, he seems to lose himself too much for me to be truly on his side in this film. And you start to realize he really isn't as much of a superhero as he could be. He doesn't go out of his way to stop crime unless it benefits him, and he says one thing but does another in terms of living his life. He is always slacking on his studies; he can't manage to show up on time for literally anything. He claims he can't love the girl who confessed her love to him in the previous film, but he also doesn't want her to be allowed to love anyone else. He honestly is the most authentic version of himself when he loses those Spidey powers and goes back to being the sweet science nerd that he was before he was bitten by the spider.

!!! SPOILERS BELOW !!!

• The opening to this film still holds that nostalgic comic book feel that we lost somewhere along the line of Marvel hero films. Yes, I know that at the point in time when this movie came out, Marvel did not and still doesn't fully own the rights to Spiderman and therefore had no say in this intro BUT they could've kept the modern intros like this a little bit y'know? The letters flashing through the comics just isn't the same vibe.
• I love that the assumption is that Spiderman stole the guy's pizzas and not that the guy is Spiderman.
• How does he suck so much with time management?
• Also, how is he so unnoticeable that people literally walk all over him?
• I thought he was the one who told Mary Jane that they couldn't be together. Why is he trying to get her to stay in love with him now?
• Can't Spider-Man take a night off? The city still portrays him as the villain anyway.
• Having the real life conversations with a random stranger in the elevator is so weird and uncomfortable lol.
• I know he doesn't think anyone is listening because he is talking into a payphone with no money on it, but what if somebody in the immediate area picked up on what he was saying and learned his truth?
• I wonder if Doc had tried on the suit with the arms before, and if there's any possibility of nerve damage from repeatedly stabbing needles into it for the neural link.
• I wonder how we even got 25 pounds of this precious element on the planet at all. Also, what do you think it's worth with there only being that much available?
• Wouldn't imploding the sun metal like that cause a black hole and start sucking everything into it?
• The nails grinding the floor like that is unrealistic and unnecessary, caused an actual chill to run up my spine.
• Y'know, Peter doesn't even go out of his way to try and fight crime; he realistically only takes care of it when it is interrupting his life. So again, why can't Spider-Man take a night off?
• How does Ant Mae not end up having a heart attack while she was being kidnapped?
• How come it's only his web power that is having issues? He can still climb walls and fall hundreds of feet without a scratch ... I take that back, he is struggling with the wall climbing too. And his vision is going blurry.
• Does he not want to be Spider-Man anymore?
• He seems happier when he isn't Spiderman, so why would he want to be Spiderman?
• He really needs to get over MJ. He could have any girl, and instead, he wants to pursue one he can't have, only when he can't have her.
• Even without his powers, he still has to try to be a hero.
• This is the second time Mary Jane was kidnapped by a villain.
• I wonder if the Incredibles got their idea for Syndrome from Doc Ock.
• Why was his first thought to try to use his feet as a break rather than the webs?
• How would straining his arms to stop the train cause his suit to rip around his biceps?
• Quite surprising nobody is trying to snap a picture of him with his mask off, god knows in today's day and age they would be telling the world within seconds.
• It was a nice thought, the citizens standing up for Spiderman, but it wasn't very smart of them...
• The super nova sucking in the entire building is making me think of Big Hero 6 and the failed transportation through black hole experiment that happened.
• The water doesn't actually appear to be stopping the giant sun ball... What is going to stop it from pulling ships and stuff into it as they sail above it?
• And now the evil that was the Green Goblin returns.

Marvel Movie Reviews w/ Rambo - Hulk (2003)

 

There's just something about late 90s and early 2000s cinema that hits different. I don't know if maybe it's just a feeling of nostalgia, but movies like 'Honey, I Shrunk the Kids', 'Baby Geniuses', 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory', and so many others; their opening credits are just top tier to me. Their instrumental music interludes, the imagery helping to paint a picture of what is to come in the movie, and honestly, even just the more mellow tone the coloration takes; it is still an action-packed movie that takes hold of your attention, but in a different and, to me, better way.

!!! SPOILERS BELOW !!!

• It's very sad to think that this hippie-looking person of a father figure, would dare experiment on his own baby. His only baby. Like, sir, don't you want a normal, healthy offspring first?
• I thought Bruce got his powers from his girlfriend's father doing experiments? Maybe that is a different rendition, or maybe it's just that the father helps finalize those experiments, and I haven't gotten far enough into the movie yet to fully remember it.
• Holy time skip. From toddler to college student. Is that even still his mom, or is it a step/foster mom?
• Can you imagine if he had Hulked out as a toddler? He would be like Jack-Jack from The Incredibles when he turns into that little red demon thing.
• Is Bruce working on an experiment related to the one that was done on him, or does it just unfortunately end up triggering his own inner biology experiment to initiate? 
• I'm gonna be honest, I don't actually remember this bit of the movie where he is experimenting on frogs...
• Why doesn't he question the dog in the lab?
• Have I ever mentioned how much I hate businessmen and how they think they can just take whatever they want and try to make money off it? If a scientist wants to do something for the greater good rather than for profit, they should be able to do so.
• Why in the world would you jump in front of something that is going to kill somebody else? Like them, impulses to be a hero were strong in him.
• Shouldn't their lab be closed down after a near-miss accident like that?
• The door opening to let the Hulk into the mind of Bruce is a very nice symbolic touch to his dream.
• Who is this crazy old man? Is it his bio dad?
• Yes, it is, duh.
• Only 30 years of jail time for conducting illegal experiments on a toddler? Crazy.
• Dude, the phone only rang once; doesn't that kind of imply he picked the phone up enough that whoever is on the other end would hear the conversation?
• ...Is his dad there as a scientist or a janitor? Because I figured he was a janitor of some sort, but he's conducting experiments using the gamma rays on the rats...
• The military dad knows about Bruce's real identity and his birth parents.
• So was it just all too much for him, and that is what made him hulk out? Obviously, the recent increase of gamma radiation in his body has had an effect, too, but what angered him? The stuff his father said?
• Is the father proud of himself for doing this to his son? Does he regret doing experiments on him as a child?
• Is his dad hitting on the girlfriend while she is trying to figure out how she can help the situation at hand?
• "How could anyone forget a thing like that!" #ChildhoodTrauma
• Y'know, my dad has made threats to my boyfriends before about treating me right, but it's different coming from a military father who could actually abuse his power and say anything to put you away in jail if you go near his daughter. Also, that is generally unacceptable; nobody should threaten anyone else, regardless of whether they are joking.
• Why tf does he need to send the dogs to KO Betty? What did she do?
• So why does anger trigger the Hulk out? Why not excitement?
• Also, why were there already people with weapons sitting outside Bruce's place, ready to attack him?
• Why does Bruce turn into a big, green version of himself, while the dogs just get glowing green eyes and look more muscular?
• Maybe let's not smash the dogs into the car containing the girl you love... There are other things, like oh, I don't know, THE GROUND.
• I don't know if calling her dad was the best idea, but I mean, you get help however you can.
• It's crazy how much a town deteriorates without actually having human input.
• Was it really necessary to break down the door of an already abandoned building? Couldn't they have just opened it up?
• Also, we are so concerned with Bruce and keeping him contained that we are no longer looking for his father, who is literally out there trying to recreate his son within himself!
• It is really weird that they literally grew up in the same military town and then drifted apart but somehow ended up being in the same lab and falling in love anyway.
• Blondie douche is annoying. Why do you need to take over the experiment? Oh, duh, money. I hate him.
• How was the baby a monster from birth? I thought he was pumping the toxins into him and making him into an experiment? Oh, was he conducting the experiment on himself and passed on the genetics through his sperm, and the toxins he was injecting were actually just him trying to cure Bruce?
• Doesn't Blondie realize that by turning Bruce into the big green monster, he is now not able to be shot without it hurting him? AND THEN, he goes and tries to shoot an explosive at the Hulk, thinking that is going to do anything? He really is dumb.
• The comic book panel transition was kind of cool.
• Angry man? That is what the government is calling him? Wild.
• What desert were they keeping him in? I assumed it was still American soil... But the music they are using is very much 'Mummy' or Egyptian vibes if that makes sense.
• He's just out here enjoying the peace of the desert and the natural beauty it has to offer, and y'all wanna come in with the military and ruin that for him! You are the problem, not the solution!
• Man, I thought he was gonna throw the missile like it was a dart, but it started tumbling over itself, which isn't very helpful.
• What explanation are y'all planning on giving the media and the general population?
• Those people falling out of the trolley are so over exaggerating.
• Did we let the police know what's going on, or are they going to make the situation worse?
• Bruce's dad electrocuting himself is crazy.
• Does his dad really think he can handle all that power that is contained within Bruce? It clearly doesn't work, seeing as how the Hulk still exists after this movie.
• "Bruce couldn't survive that blast," sure, sure. Whatever you say, military man.
• How exactly did he get to the jungle?
• The comic book credits are a nice touch, wish they still made credits fun like that.

Marvel Movie Reviews w/ Rambo - Daredevil (2003)

 

I don't know why I have never seen this movie. My parents owned it on DVD. I just never watched it. And what makes even less sense is that I have seen Elektra, and I LOVED Elektra going up (along with other movies such as Charlie's Angels and Kill Bill), but I didn't even know that this had a similar combative skill to it, let alone that Elektra was LITERALLY involved in this film. You best believe that my boyfriend and I will have to do a couples costume of these two at some point in our lives.

I love the use of different audio and visual jumps that the movie utilizes to show us how we have a different perception of reality than the main character does. I hate, however, how some of the motions you can clearly see are done with fake doubles or are manipulated to appear differently than how they could and would have actually happened with real people. Not much can be expected of that, though, as even modern technology still has some of those limitations.

!!! SPOILERS BELOW !!!

• Putting the credits in braille and then having it switch to the actual letters is cool, and a nice hint at the main character being blind, but does it actually help anyone? The blind can't see the braille on the screen.
• So we don't actually get to see him get his powers?
• Oh, we get a backstory, never mind.
• He wasn't always blind?
• Ah, he went blind from the chemicals, that's also how he got his powers.
• I know he can hold his own, but isn't it wrong to bully a disabled person?
• That's so stupid that they killed his dad because he refused to lose a match on purpose.
• Does he reset those walkways on the side of the building each day, or is it just a coincidence they were there where he chose to take off from lol
• The way they go back and forth between, but we would hear, and what he hears is both cool and annoying all at the same time.
• Being blind does give him a good excuse not to be accused of the crimes, even if he should be a suspect for being involved in the court cases.
• So why does he have multiple costumes and weapons? Are they different, or just in case one gets messed up?
• Where did she get her defense skills?
• OH SHE IS ELEKTRA! I totally didn't recognize her!
• Using the rain to see her is crazy cool.
• I wouldn't have thought you could use smoke to see, but sure, I guess anything makes noise when it touches a surface if you have super hearing.
• How does she not realize that, while yes, it is his weapon/tool, he is not the one who caused her father's death?
• I want to see a fight between Elektra and Laura Croft.
• How come the dagger thing can cut through the front of her outfit and her whole body, but not through her pleather outfit afterwards?
• Oof, offering tray to the jugular has gotta hurt something fierce.
• It's gotta be some type of sin to break stained glass windows of a church.
• What kind of ammunition goes cleanly through both hands and a wooden candlestick?
• What's crazy is this isn't even really a superhero movie so much as it is just an action-packed movie.
• WAIT. ELEKTRA ISN'T ACTUALLY DEAD??