Marvel Movie Reviews w/ Rambo - The Avengers (2012)

 

!!! SPOILERS BELOW !!!

• Who is that voice?
• Joint Dark Energy Mission? Why are we messing with dark energy? Doesn't that name kind of scream bad idea? Or is that just a bad juju kind of feeling?
• Is the tesseract the cube they collected from the water when they went looking for Captain America? Why are they only testing now? 70 years after it was retrieved...
• Why are we calling it a she?
• Gamma radiation? Why isn't it green instead of blue?
• Excuse me, but that green arrow-looking guy is not the Hulk! Where are either of the guys from the two different movies??
• Also, who is this girl dressed in all black? That is not our red headed russian beauty we have grown to love from Iron Man.
• Oh! That's how Loki gets out of his eternal space slumber!
• We thought that boomerrang-looking thing was a spear? It isn't long enough in my book.
• Did Loki just take over control of Hulk? And that security guy?
• Free from freedom? No comment.
• Wish we could've had more of an origin story for SHIELD and their logo and who had the idea... although I guess that is where their show comes into play huh?
• Is the lady in black the girl from Thor? No... she doesn't have a sweet enough personality from what I can tell. Not to mention how would she go from a scientist studying the bridge to a super-secret spy? I can imagine her helping work on the tesseract but not handling a pew pew and doing flips like a gymnast.
• How are we explaining this event to the people?
• Where do the helicopter blades go when they break off from hitting the ground like that?
• How the heck did our redheaded beauty end up being held captive in Russia??
• How can we know exactly where she is but not be extracting her? Although I guess if she is there on purpose and they know she can get herself out that may be why.
• Ah yes, the agonizing screams and beatings that are hold music, very nice.
• OH! HE ISN'T THE HULK! HE IS GREEN ARROW! Why haven't we watched any Green Arrow origin stuff yet then? 
• OH! That's right, the Green Arrow is DC, not marvel; the guy I am thinking of is Hawkeye... but don't we end up making Hawkeye a girl in purple later on? Regardless, WHERE IS HIS ORIGIN STORY?!?
• So wait, Hulk is part of SHIELD but doesn't know he is part of SHIELD?
• I don't know if I have ever seen Black Widow get teary eyed... I could be wrong though.
• Why does the door for this room full of monitors look like a vault door?
• What do you mean the Avengers initiative was turned down already? When was it even proposed?
• How many punching bags do you think he had already gone through in this session?
• What if somebody posed themselves to take a shot at Tony as he was on top of the building getting changed out of his suit?
• I don't remember, has Tony always had Stark Tower? 
• The answer to that is no.
• "His first name is Agent." lol
• Is Loki not actually on Earth, or did he just transport while sitting down?
• Wait, are we exposed to Thanos this early on? Is that grey-skinned, multi-fingered, masked being Thanos?
• How did Banner and Capt. meet?
• Where do the planes go when it goes underwater?
• OH ITS NOT A SUB ITS A PLANE
• Crazy
• How is it determined if the female officer wears pants or a skirt? Because I see both within that command deck area.
• Why did Capt. give him $10?
• How does a spectrometer on the roof help look for gamma rays? I thought it needed an amount of the substance under some type of pressure to determine the elements? What kind of spectrometer are we asking them to put on the roof?
• How can you call it a match if it's only 69%?
• Did Loki go out and buy a suit to blend in or did he wave his hand to change clothes?
• Speaking of Loki in a suit, he really does make me think of Rumplestiltskin.
• The answer? He just changes his clothes however he likes...
• His "spear" is much longer and more staff-like now.
• Why did everyone just stop screaming and kneel down? Did he cast a spell on them?
• I thought they wanted to change Capt. uniform?
• Capt. is like, oh yeah, baby, I finally have somebody to go full strength on.
• Why is Stark's last name, as is Banner's, but Capt. is first name? Technically, title, not even first name. Is it a respect thing?
• How did Thor get back to Earth? Did they fix the bridge? Why hasn't he gone to see his girl?
• "We need a plan of attack! - I have a plan. Attack."
• Bifrost? What's that?
• I love that Thor does not care what evil things Loki has done; he just wants his brother back.
• How can his suit handle holding 400% of its power capacity?
• Would we consider Capt.'s shield as stronger than Thor's hammer since it made a big gong noise instead of crumbling?
• How has Loki heard of Hulk?
• Sure, claim him as your brother until it means that you are also crazy, then mention that he is adopted.
• Stark is a nerd.
• 
  

Marvel Movie Reviews w/ Rambo - Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)

 

                                       

Y'know, it's kind of wild how they make these movies seem like they are real and as though they are embedded into our actual history. Like, it would be more obvious that the Green Lantern is not in the world because he travels into space, same with Superman, Guardians of the Galaxy, etc. But placing a soldier in a period when the World was at war and making it seem like he was actually apart of those efforts, having period accurate attire, not so much on the weapon front though I fear (atleast not all of it); if you were to put these things into a time capsule and start teaching it like it was real, anybody would probably believe it. Do you ever stop to wonder if that is the case with some of the history that we are taught currently? Honestly, though, the feeling of it being real is what helps to make this such a good movie, and the underdog aspect of how Captain America started out as a short twig, it is part of why I rated this a 4-star film!

!!! SPOILERS BELOW !!!

• What kind of chain did they have to go through to get people out to Russia to see this thing? How did this massive building get there? How do they know what they found? Do they even know what they found, or did they just know they needed to contact somebody higher up? 
• Is it a plane? Did the Russian group there put the red light things out marking the area?
• So are we flashing back now> Is that why we were given a place and date?
• That guy makes me think of Filch from Harry Potter
• It's crazy to think how scrawny he started out before becoming Captain America.
• Shouldn't he have known from the beginning that his asthma would disqualify him and to leave it off the forms?
• Wait, Bucky was his friend? Doesn't he become a villain later?
• Howard Stark? Is that Tony's father? He doesn't look like Tony... Can you imagine if they had gotten the same actor to play both, lol
• Didn't he make the comment that he would do anything for just one girl? Why did he not go on the date?
• Why do so many of the scientists sound German if they are on the side of the Americans?
• Why was he the only one who offered himself up as a sacrifice to save his comrades? Also, why does he ask after every performance if it was a test?
• Why did he offer him a drink to toast with if he couldn't drink it?
• Why don't guys ever know how to talk to women? As a matter of fact, why can't anybody talk to another person like a human lol
• Did Tony know that his family created Captain America? Is that why he had pieces of a shield prototype?
• I just realized that one military guy is in Men in Black
• Screaming in pain but can state in a relatively even tone of voice that it's fine, he can do it... Why were you screaming then?
• How did they get two actors that looked so alive, but one was scrawny, and one was a beefcake?
• How big would one of the soldiers who was already a buff soldier become if they had gone through this?
• THE SCIENTIST GUY IS IN THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA! THAT'S WHERE I RECOGNIZE HIM FROM!
• Putting those super soldier abilities to the test with this inner city agility course lol
• "Go get him! I can swim." Best line in the whole thing so far lol
• Wow, the glass could stand the pressure of the water but not his fist...
• Hmm, a fake tooth and poison, interesting idea.
• Putting the script on the back of the shield was smart!
• Who made the change from Star Spangled Man to Captain America? Or are they one and the same?
• Oh, that's right, he was considered dead because the rival force captured him for experiments.
• The rival army looks like Robocop.
• Why does he like, have skin under his skin? It looks like it's trying to resemble him, having the skin off and muscles showing, but without the gore of the actual muscles showing.
• Does the little plastic bar actually keep people out of the camp?
• So not only did he save all those soldiers, but he also technically helped steal Hydra military technology for study.
• Sooooo if he is Captain America, and he is fighting on the side of the US Army, why is he in the UK working with MI6?
• Does he actually figure out the trajectory in advance before throwing his shield, or does he just toss it and hope for the best?
• The industrial steel tunnels are giving a mix of Star Wars and some type of alien predator movie; either way, it is very futuristic, space-themed.
• OH! IT'S THE HYDRA LEADER'S PLANE THAT HE IS FOUND FROZEN IN!
• Did they defrost the Hydra guy too, or just Cap?
• I love that the bad guys, when they fall down and out of the plane; they fall straight at first but then the plane leaves them behind and it's like the wind takes hold of them even though they likely are not technically moving in terms of that extra axis.
• OH! THE BAD GUY KO'D! Got it!
• I wonder if they could've tried harder to find him back then, and if he would've been okay.
• They really should've paid more attention to playing the games from AFTER he would've died, not when he was alive and could possibly remember the information of it.

Marvel Movie Reviews w/ Rambo - Thor (2011)

 

While the movie as a whole was not horrible, it had a good director and good chemistry between the actors involved in most aspects; the storyline just falls incredibly short and can not be made up for. It initially feels like we spend too much time getting filler information about very minor details that could have been conveyed in a shorter method, and then we start having everything thrown at us at once but even that information is still filler that probably could have been skipped over. Like did we really need the coffee shop scene with him smashing the cup? Oh, and what is the deal with them falling instantly in love with each other without knowing a single thing about each other, literally? He could have just as easily chosen to fall in love with the actress from Two Broke Girls before the wanna be Belle actress. 

I do realize, watching some of these films back, just how connected all the films are from the early stages, though, and the little nuances are not something I picked up on as a little kid, like the fact that Stark Industries is involved here too, and SHIELD literally being involved in everything everywhere. I do wonder, though, what the timeframe and travel are like for the Agents of SHIELD because if this were to be happening simultaneously with Iron Man, they would be screwed for staying within their non-existent government finance budget.

!!! SPOILERS BELOW !!!

• That was a very fast transition from the present day, running a person over, to the history of where Thor came from. I mean, the transition made sense; she literally asked where he came from, it was just very abrupt.
• Thor seems like the arrogant kid who had everything given to him on a silver platter and doesn't deserve the throne, but will get it anyway, while Loki worked hard and only turned evil because he wasn't the favorite,
• Thor is not very diplomatic. He is very much hands-on and aggressive.
• Why exactly are we getting so much background into Thor's origin? I know we need this to know why he was banished and ended up on Earth. And I do appreciate that it is filled with action, but why a full 30 minutes of this? The movie could've been shorter without all this filler.
• Respect your elders, my guy! How are you going to just disobey your father and dishonor your king?
• What is the likelihood of running over the same person twice? Maybe she should have her license revoked...
• Why did Loki start to look like he was turning to stone when he went to talk to Odin?
• She really doesn't know how to keep her mouth shut. If she hadn't said anything, she could have at least kept her notebook, which is better than nothing.
• Why do these 3 act like a family with all their bickering? Personally, I think it is great and shows that the actors get along well, have good chemistry, if you will.
• So if Thor is not worthy now and can't lift the hammer, why could he lift it before? He really hasn't changed since then; it hasn't been long enough yet!
• Can't the government just try and run him through data bases and realize he isn't human? Or would his biometrics just come back as human anyway?
• Do we ever figure out how Loki was able to hide himself or those frost giants?
• It's funny to think that we have been hearing the nme SHIELD for years prior to us actually putting a purpose to the name. They were building up this group and the storylines with connections for decades! Although I guess all the comic nerds knew that already huh?
• How can Thor cook and use the stuff that we have on Earth? Do they have the same ingredients that they have on Asgard? That would be wild.
• So, can only a frost giant use that cube thingy that Loki has? Shouldn't Loki's colors be blue and white instead of green?
• I never realized they mention Stark in this movie, too. Crazy.
• 7 Eleven really has not changed in the past decade ... like at all... and honestly, it may be even longer since its last branding update because those stripes are still the same vintage stripes they have always been. Honestly, Kudos to them for keeping it around. I wish Taco Bell was still just as nostaligic of a feeling.
• Girl, you barely know this man, but you are acting like his dying is you losing the love of your life that you have known your entire life.
• Why did the hammer fly back to him? Why didn't it just find somebody on Earth to fly to? Like Spiderman. Yes, I know he doesn't exist in the universe yet.
• Gotta love that Thor calling for the bridge keeper guy literally thawed him out enough to help them.
• Whatever happened to slow burn loves? Why are we falling in love within like 48 hours of knowing each other? YOU LITERALLY DON'T EVEN KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT EACH OTHER.
• Why does Loki feel like Thor never treated him as an equal?
• Is Thor wearing eyeliner in this film? I've noticed it a couple of times but really only when he squints his eyes.
• Was destroying the bridge really the only solution here?
• Loki could totally be related to Malfloy's character in Harry Potter lol
• So where did Loki fall to? Is he just floating in space suffocating?
• HE DOESNT EVEN KNOW HER HOW COULD HE POSSIBLY MISS HER AND HOW DOES IT CAUSE HIM TO CHANGE SO MUCH
• She should recruit Tony Stark to help her achieve space travel lol