Marvel Movie Reviews w/ Rambo - Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)

 

!!! SPOILERS BELOW !!!

• Why did that guy have to go and interrupt her talking about his daddy? Is he not allowed to know about him?
• I'm sure its just because he is sad to be losing his mom but why can't he just take her hand and show her some love?
• I forgot he was taken as a boy and not as an adult...
• Was this Marvels way at competing with Star Wars? Why do most space movies look the same... is it just me?
• Isn't James Gunn the new DC universe guy? Why is his name in the Marvel universe with Guardians of the galaxy?
• Chris Pratt is such a fun actor.
• Does he make his own gadgets or did he buy them from somewhere?
• Y'know him working through this system to steal a relic by replacing it with a fake is very Indiana Jones like.
• He really thought these guys were going to know his criminal name lol.
• Yeah, this definitely gives off Star Wars Rebels vibes.
• Wait, who is this pink lady in his ship?
• I know now that his last name is meant to be Quill but I usually here them saying Will instead.
• I think it is too late for you to still be complaining about how y'all should've turned him in when you captured him.
• How much body paint do you think they used in the making of this movie?
• Also, how come Humans are very rarely actually part of any type of Galactic Council?
• Again, did not realize Thanos gets mentioned this early on in the universe... I should pay more attention.
• Is there any color skin that doesn't exist in this universe?
• I love how most people are still just wandering around like this is a daily occurrence for them.
• WAIT! WRECK IT RALPH IS IN HERE?!?
• He really said I'm gonna die for my music player.
• Groot straight up gave that guy a lybotemy.
• Nobody noticed Groot taking the battery besides Drax.
• Somebody should teach Groot to quickly grow his roots into a dense shield to protect himself... Oh, never mind, he knows how to do that.
• How is Rocket handling that weapon with one hand?
• Dude, I think there are more important things to worry about than the fact that Starlord stole a leg.
• Their ragtag group started coming together very quickly, almost too quickly.
• The fact that Starlord paid for the leg instead of just stealing it is crazy. Goodie two-shoe.
• Was anti-gravity really the answer?
• With the broken window, I don't think you'll last very long in space...
• I always did love his little whistle pen.
• Use her elbows? For what?
• So Gamora is his favorite daughter, but she doesn't even consider him her father because he kidnapped and abused her.
• I love the subtle lines in Gamora's face that show her cheek bones and such.
• How do you almost drop it like that?!?
• Aww, Groot essentially said I gotta save my bestie and ran lol.
• And, now that they don't have a common purpose with a similar agreement, they are all on their own. Goodie.
• They have more siblings than the 2 of them?
• Poor Drax.
• Aww, he really loves her; sacrificing himself to the guy.
• Good thing Groot got left behind.
• Sometimes I wish we would've gotten some captioning of what the I am Groot means because while yes Rocket gives us a rendition, I wanna hear exactly how Groot meant it.
• And here we are hearing about yet another infinity stone. Was I the only idiot who didn't catch on to any of this?
• Didn't explicitly mention she is his daughter though... although it's not Ronin's daughter, it's Thanos' daughter, huh? And even then, she isn't that.
• So... if they are going to get back the infinity stone and turn it over to people who can contain it, how does Thanos end up getting it?
• They really do mention the Infinity Stone a lot in this movie. I must've been so oblivious to everything.
• She flinched.
• That forward thrust really isn't moving you much.
• I don't think that is how you are meant to fly a ship but okay.
• It's pretty cool that the little ships can all lock together to form a grid and slow down the big ship.
• Where inside of him does Groot just keep these bugs and how are they still alive??
• HE DIDN'T SAY I AM GROOT THAT TIME!
• He took them all out before a single one could fall to the ground, wild.
• I finally realized what the blue and orange colors on the ship made me think of, Ashoka from Star Wars.
• And yet she still would not let her sister die if she could help it.
• So Starlord's helmet thing, is it an earwig that expands? How does that technology work? Is it a headband that wraps around the back of his head and we just can't see it?
• GROOT DIED IN THE FIRST MOVIE?!?
• How do I watch so many things and forget all about them again?
• He has another word in his vocabulary! He said We!!!
• So literally the Villain is the one who made them a team and gave them a title.
• Why does he seem so sad?
• So how can Thanos handle the stones by himself if it takes all of them to handle one?
• He totally switched out the orbs.
• I do not like the outfit Gamora has on in this final scene.
• It's cute that he kept the present this entire time. And funny how it's a new mixtape for him that hints at a sequel. But also, that was a big box for a cassette.
• So does Baby Groot retain all of his memories from the big Groot? Also, did they actually know that the stick would turn into a new Groot, or did they just hope? Did all of the sticks turn into new Groots? Is there just gonna be an army of them running around that planet now?
• Why doesn't Baby Groot dance when Drax is looking? I know there are fan theories on that...
• SPACE ASTRONAUT PUPPY!!!
• Howard the Duck?

Marvel Reviews w/ Rambo - Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Season 1 (2014)

 

!!! SPOILERS BELOW !!! 

• Pilot
• Is that the Black Widow doing the intro or is it someone else?
• That dad is an unnecessary everyday hero, he's running to help those people he may not know ... oh, he has powers, never mind
• Does the boy know his dad has powers? Does he wish his dad were part of the Avengers, and that's why he doesn't want any of the heroes in the window?
• Okay, but like the prints would not just roll that cleanly off the glass like that in real life.
• I'm sorry, but this is how we find out Agent Colson isn't dead? Does he come back to the movies at all?
• They aren't level 7? I don't think they even have a level. They are just voluntold personnel lol
• Excuse me, but isn't Colson old enough to be her dad? Why does it seem like he is flirting with her?
• Why is she against S.H.I.E.L.D.? Shouldn't she be against the people who were holding the Avengers initiative back?
• Their plane is like a house, and yet it seems pretty normal-sized. I am confused.
• Oh, also, it is not the Black Widow doing the commentary, it's a girl in her van... and she has just been found. Wonder if she will become part of the team now, too.
• Doesn't the fact that they don't know about this so-called cover-up titled "centipede" mean that they are not the bad guys she thinks they are? Also, how did she get involved with that group anyway?
• This hero is very quickly turning into a villain...
• Encrypted to the GPS location? How does that work?
• Aren't Bonnie and Clyde a couple? Why is he hitting on the new person?
• So we are using the same explosion stuff from Iron Man 3 in this first episode, interesting.
• Can't they call up Stark and ask what the solution was for his girlfriend?
• Home boy got thrown like 20 feet into the air xD
• I can't tell whether he cares to save the girl's life or not.
• Did we really have to go for a headshot? What if it ended up being fatal while also curing him?
• ...And why don't we have hover cars yet?
• 0-8-4
• Gonna be blue skies from here on out and then a giant hole forms in the side of your plane... I don't think that's blue skies my dude.
• These scientists are really too enthusiastic to be out in the field. I get it, I get the same way when I get called out to new scenes I haven't experienced yet, but I think they're in a slightly different boat with superhero stuff.
• Oddly convenient that they didn't show up until after the archaeologist was out of the site.
• What is with this guy? Why is he so against having people who can do stuff better than him?
• Okay, for somebody who is supposed to be about risk assessments and stuff, why is he pulling an unknown object out of the wall?
• Oh, so now that you know it's worse than going nuclear, now you care about it affecting you.
• This group needs to figure out how to put aside their different experiences and backgrounds and just work together. They all have different specialties.
• Did anyone stop to think if the Peruvian military actually had the same intent as us? That they weren't trying to use S.H.I.E.L.D. to get the object transported somewhere else?
• Midlife crisis, sounds about right.
• We are firing up the German tech and using it to make a hole in our own plane? That's crazy.
• Shouldn't the drop in cabin pressure mean the doors lock so that they don't leak out more pressure? It seems backwards to me that they opened instead.
• How in the world is a blow-up raft staying put in the gaping hole and equalizing the pressure in the plane?
• What are you signing up for? Ma'am, you just lived through some of it. How are you still confused?
• Wait, they are sending the weapon to the sun?
• AND she is still working for the other team. Wow. Who is she gonna actually cross?
• Does he really think that he could control the plane incident? They were hijacked!
• The Asset
• What the heck caused that car to get thrown sky high like that so suddenly?
• How is the trailer still upright after a stunt like that?
• Am I supposed to know who this guy is?
• There was definitely something we missed between episodes with the new girl becoming an agent in training...
• Did you really want to reveal to her that you all lied about the truth serum? I wouldn't want to work with y'all anymore after that.
• "Something big," he says as he holds a teeny tiny gyrosphere.
• Why does Coltor wear a black tux but the other young buck can wear jeans and a t-shirt?
• Hey! That's the husband from Ghost Whisperer!
• Is he really a prisoner, though, if he is willingly helping conduct an experiment that he has wanted to do for decades?
• Isn't the fact that she doesn't have training make her perfect for the task, because they have absolutely no reason to suspect her?
• What if this experiment with gravitanium alters all of Earth's gravity?
• -.- Why is she telling him that S.H.I.E.L.D. is listening?
• Hmm, she is telling him everything but still helping S.H.I.E.L.D.
• Ma'am, you're gonna have to get up the courage to pew pew if you're going to be an agent.
• Is locking the gravitanium in the vault just protecting it from somebody getting ahold of it or does it stop the gravity effects?
• Eye-Spy
• Do the folks just think the red masks are like a publicity stunt or something? Because I would be calling the non-emergency line to see if something has a permit to be happening or if the police should be on the lookout for suspicious activity.
• AND their hands are handcuffed to the briefcases? That's a bit much and super sus.
• How is it that the masked people are the ones dead, though? How did she know which briefcase to take?
• What is his desire to help everyone? Literally everyone.
• It's interesting how much you can learn about somebody based on their dialect and how they talk.
• Yeah, they really didn't think this through with him replacing a female.
• That's crazy that you had the guard check in every so often by having them enter a password in order to track that no unwanted people have entered.
• Ooo, the handler had a kill switch in him too. Interesting.
• I am very confused how she was going to use the glasses to see the cards and him naked from a completely different room.
• Girl in the Flower Dress
• They looked at each other as if they knew each other and yet they acted as if they didn't.
• Why is she taking him? Is it like how the S.H.I.E.L.D. people wanted to take the strong guy in episode 1?
• How is playing Battleship strategic?
• I am still so incredibly lost on which side she is on. It's like every episode she flips back again.
• OOOOOO. She got caught.
• Why wouldn't S.H.I.E.L.D. let him use his powers? Would he not join them?
• I mean, yeah, a million dollars is not a bad offer for information.
• Is this the scientist lady from the first episode? The one who worked on Project Centipede?
• Ooo, she had to put on one of those special bracelets that controls her too.
• So how many extra bad guys are in on this thing? Trying to make their own version of heroes/villains.
• FZZT
• How does lightning cause the battery to jump out of the vehicle?
• What was holding his body up like that?
• Aww, these poor guys just wanted a cool souvenir and ended up infecting themselves.
• Bonnie and Clyde are so cute, flirty but innocent.
• Skydiving to your death can't be a good feeling.
• Yeah, sure, they will take his dream team away just like they took the Avengers away.
• The Hub
• Where are the dogs? Boy, have you ever seen dogs on board that ship?
• How the heck did he get that big thing into his naval cavity?
• So, I have always matched the different security levels of S.H.I.E.L.D. with those of the current US military. However, here's the thing: in our current situation, the higher levels can know about the lower levels. In S.H.I.E.L.D., it comes off more like each level only gets to know about its own. Is that accurate?
• Why are there so many extra hands wandering around their ship?
• Wouldn't it be funny if he actually has been a robot version of himself this entire time and she just doesn't know it?
• WHY DID HE THROW THE SANDWICH AWAY?!?
• Fitz is more of a bad booty agent then they make him out to be.
• Wow, she has some skill to position the plane just right to burn all the bad guys with the exhausts.
• So if he thinks he is level 8, why doesn't he come up in the system as level 8?
• The Well
• What random items is he picking up from each pile?
• First, why are we cutting down a tree in a national park? Second, what are those guys using to wipe away that spray paint on the sign?
• Why in the world would he think that the instructions would give actual coordinates?
• Wow, that professor really said he wanted to get to the staff first.
• Did he really think they weren't going to see it sticking out of his bag like that?
• How did Timmy fall down the well to begin with?
• How the heck did that man do that? Oh, he's Asgardian.... wow... wonder if he is the original guy.
• More observant than most? Sir, it's pretty easy things to pick up on. It's not like it was just picking up on you leaving behind certain things.
• Why didn't she have any bad memories come to mind when she started messing with the God spear?
• Repairs
• But how do we know it was her who is doing these things? She didn't show any signs of wanting to do these things, let alone actually doing them.
• How do you expect her to actually know what is going on? Let's be real.
• Is it maybe Ford haunting her and making everything else happen because she didn't listen to him about the safety concerns?
• So if the power is down and they are going to be crashing, how come they are still flying and not panicking more?
• Oh, they did crash already? There wasn't much of a crash...
• How did Mae hear him move closer?
• I'm sorry, did you just imply that the guy caused the accident and is blaming her anyway?
• Aww, Mae got a little piece of herself back! I call that a win.
• The Bridge
• I love the guy just chilling and casually eating his food instead of reacting.
• Oh, that's the guy they went to break out, got it, that would be why he was not reacting.
• I thought he couldn't gain access to her files?
• Oh, she has been pulling names herself, no files for help.
• Somebody with superpowers...
• Wait, is he the original caterpillar guy?
• Is he a different actor from the original episode?
• Did anyone notice how much he turns the wheel and the car DOESN'T move?
• What if Mae is the one who turned her over to the agency?
• Doesn't our guy with S.H.I.E.L.D. who has the caterpillar have only the one on his arm? These new soldiers have them on both arms plus in their shoulders.
• So something has changed in their new soldiers that the same shot that took out the original guy does nothing to the new one.
• They have also become stronger, and have different kill switches in them.
• How did she figure out where his son was being kept? And why was there no security on his son?
• So wait we are gonna take out all of those people? For what reason? Why did we want to take out Colson that badly?
• ...But he doesn't know about the day after he died? Is this where we find out he is a robot?
• The Magical Place
• Mae, you'd better have something planned.
• He really went to Tahiti, huh? Crazy.
• Did they really not frisk him and look for things before tying him up?
• How come the chair can fall over but it doesn't get sucked up and out like he is?
• Not her impersonating Mae to ask the guy questions xD.
• Why is she the only one who doesn't believe getting Colson back is important?
• Looks like Skye was right and S.H.I.E.L.D. was wrong.
• Aww, poor Colson. Why did they need him to survive so badly that they operated on him like that? But also, he was stabbed through the heart, what does operating on his brain do to save him?
• HE DIDN'T DIE! He isn't fully himself anymore, but at least he didn't die! He can still see his son one day ... maybe.
• Seeds
• S.H.I.E.L.D. trainees? What happened? I assume they were on the agency's property...
• Do they need to get permission for these little extra excursions or do they just do whatever they want?
• How quickly were they planning on graduating him?
• I love how he just knew that it was about the baby girl.
• So does she secretly have powers or what?
• Ooo, he has ice powers now.
• T.R.A.C.K.S.
• Why the heck are there civilians on this train that is meant to be transporting secret military stuff?
• Shouldn't they have discussed before hand they they were going to fill in Colson?
• Shouldn't she be in tears over her mother's ashes spilling?
• First of all, why would you need to jump for a grenade rather than fight the people?
• Secondly, how does a grenade make the train vanish like that?
• They were rendered immobile when she jumped off the train? How does that happen?
• If they stabbed her with a knife why is it a long cut?
• I'm gonna be honest, I am really annoyed by listening to that stupid announcement over and over; I do understand it's there to establish when we are in the timeline though.
• So when is she going to become a full-fledged agent?
• So the package was their guy?
• DAANNNGGGG. HE SHOT HER! NOT ONCE BUT TWICE!
• No more Skye :(
• She's like Sleeping Beauty in a way.
• She looks like a zombie from The Walking Dead.
• T.A.H.I.T.I.
• He had the same thought I did, use the doctors who revived him even though it was impossible.
• Why does their cockpit seem smaller than normal?
• Honestly, just let them have him, the only reason they didn't turn him over is because they are trying to save Skye.
• They really make the moving screen thing so much easier then the other two guys do.
• Look at them being all smart and stuff!
• Why didn't they just try a random counter sign to see if it would work?
• Is GH something gamma related?
• GH is the initials of the person .... but which person?
• Didn't somebody at some point mention a redhead coming and stealing somebody away?
• Yes Man
• Is the red head thing current time or past events?
• I'm glad she recognized the logo.
• He was doing so well until he wasn't... I kind of hope he is faking and takes her to a S.H.I.E.L.D. facility.
• I'm confused, the necklace doesn't show any obvious signs of damage...
• Did she really think she wouldn't affect Asgard on Earth? It's Thor's second home now.
• How does that necklace cage stop her from speaking?
• Does he really think that the two of them can go after whoever is in charge?
• Uhoh, somebody was listening to them.
• End of the Beginning
• SHE'S FINALLY GOING TO BECOME A FULL-FLEDGED AGENT!!!!
• It's so sad how much he has changed for the worse.
• Was killing him really necessary? Sure, he was giving empty threats, but at least he was talking.
• Mae is the bad guy? I did not see that twist coming.
• OH! IT WASN'T MAE! IT'S THE GIRL WITH RED DYE HIGHLIGHTS!
• Explains why she was confused about why Colson was so important.
• Turn, Turn, Turn
• You mean to tell me they aren't even targeting the correct ship?
• I was not expecting Colson to shoot Mae.
• So is this episode happening simultaneously with the Winter Soldier movie?
• I don't understand, is she or isn't she part of the bad guys?
• 
  
• Providence
• 
  
• The Only Light In The Darkness
• 
  
• Nothing Personal
• 
  
• Ragtag
• 
  
• Beginning of the End
• 
  

Marvel Movie Reviews w/ Rambo - Amazing Spiderman 2 (2014)

 

This movie just solidified why I do not like the Andrew Garfield version of Spider-Man. How he acts at the beginning is so out of character for how he has been in all previous renditions, even in comparison to his own first movie, if I were being honest. And as smart as Peter is meant to be, he really has some moments where he is lacking clarity, and it's a little off-putting. The movie as a whole also lacks any significant action; it seems far more focused on the love story between Gwen and Peter, which is hard to believe for a two-hour-long film. I think the only two parts I enjoyed were the secret train, which gave National Treasure vibes and the little kid who dressed up as Spidey to save the day at the end when the real Spider-Man didn't want to be a hero anymore.

!!! SPOILERS BELOW !!!

• Peter's dad knew he was a monster for the project he was working on?
• He had to have been working on more than just genes that allow you to heal.
• How the heck did blowing the windows out cause the door to fly off?
• The way Spider-Man is behaving here does not feel at all like how he was behaving in the first movie.
• Yeah, that is kind of why you shouldn't have everyone tailing so closely together.
• ...How did he grab that vial with his foot?
• They never show us where the bullets land and which innocent lives are impacted by them.
• Is he seeing the ghost of the chief because of the fact that he isn't staying away from Gwen?
• Well, you can't live like this, nor can he. He doesn't want to see the ghost of your dead dad everywhere, ma'am.
• It's crazy how there are always going to be haters who think the worst of you, even though all you do is the best you can, even for superheroes trying to save lives.
• I still don't understand why Gwen gets to know his identity, but Aunt Mae doesn't.
• Uh oh, he saved Max one time, and now he is gonna become a villain because Spider-Man doesn't live up to his expectations, huh?
• How do we know Spider-Man is a Leo?
• Oh boy, he just gets attached to anybody who remembers his name huh?
• So in the original Spider-Man movie is was Green Goblin who had a boy named Harry that was friends with Peter, and in this universe, there's an old man dying in the dark who has a son named Harry? Is the old man the lizard guy from the last movie? His fingers look weird.
• I'm sorry but the Max guy should've taken the Oscorp to court for the way all these people treated him and expected him to work even when they were off.
• Harry and Peter are friends in this universe too???
• I thought him and Gwen were done?
• Peter is such a stalker.
• Poor guy is just confused and scared.
• Why do people have to call him a freak and all those other names? It's so mean. They are the reason their city is filled with villains.
• So in this rendition of Spider-Man, he looks like he has devices on his wrist to make the webs instead of them coming out of his wrist itself.
• I thought electricity and water didn't mix? How did shooting him down with a hose work?
• So, since we don't want to think about Gwen anymore, we are gonna hyperfocus on our dead parents instead?
• Is he trying to make it so his web can transfer electricity?
• Why did we put a criminal with an extreme medical illness, if you will, in an insane asylum?
• Why do they always make the mad scientists have a German accent?
• I'm sorry, but how can somebody be approving documents they have no information on? 
• So you're going to use his name to approve the experiments but you are going to revoke his access to that information?
• How did they know he would eventually access those files to try and pin it all on him though? And why must we pin it all on him? Why not pin it on his dead father?
• Did he really just waste that coin in the turnstile?
• This secret train thing is giving the free masons vibes.
• For somebody who is dying, Harry is very nimble and able to protect himself.
• Wow, Oxford is an instant thing? That's crazy.
• Ooo, we got him a special suit that he can make materialize or not just like his own body!
• Why is there a Green Goblin-looking suit and glider in the basement? I thought Green Goblin didn't exist in this version?
• Their love was so strong it broke the power grid lol not actually but y'know, funny.
• Oops, she just called him by his actual name and she knows it, wonder if she will say she puts his life in danger now.
• Are his webs really that strong that she had to use a pocket knife to get free?
• TESLA COIL MUSIC!!!
• Gwen, you really need to stop calling him by his actual name.
• Do they really think the planes will be able to move out of each other's way in less than 60 seconds?
• But also they could clearly see eachothers lights so why didn't they start moving on their own accord?
• It's kind of funny how the spiderweb silk reaches out like it is a hand.
• Dude, you saved her from going splat but the whiplash along could cause head trauma if not death.
• If he would've just let her go to Oxford without saying anything she would still be alive.
• Y'know, if he hadn't gotten there in time and the Rhino had done something to that little boy, Spidey would not be very proud of himself and I don't think the city wouldnt have been either.