Marvel Movie Reviews w/ Rambo - Avengers: Endgame (2019)

  

This movie doesn't deserve a zero-star rating. It deserves a -1000 star rating. But they don't allow that. 

In all actuality, I don't rate the movie as zero stars. I'm not sure how to rate it but it definitely isn't zero stars. I will say, I hate that the movie has us questioning everything about time travel and the theory behind it. Why are we messing with something that isn't broken? Also, why is this the ONLY Marvel movie to NOT have end credit scenes??

!!! SPOILERS BELOW !!!

• They are such a sweet little family of heroes.
• Aww man, what do you mean his entire family was wiped except for him?!?
• Tony is actually being friendly? And Gamora's sister is no longer trying to hurt people?
• More and more, I realize just how much she is like the Jumanji character. Which makes sense because it's the same actress.
• Tony looks real thin and sickly.
• Wait, why are the two of them on the ship alone? Are they the only ones who survived the Thanos thing?
• I was about to ask if they even knew Thanos did the snap but of course they know, Spidey died in Stark's arms.
• Captain Marvel looked more like herself when she was floating in space appearing in front of Stark's ship then when they landed on Earth.
• You said living creatures, did anybody take inventory of the pets?
• They mentioned Build-a-Bear!
• Does she even know who Thanos is or what he looks like to go KO him?
• Did he cut off his own arm?
• Why did he take out trillions of people just to destroy the stones?
• DID HE JUST CUT OFF HIS HEAD?!?!?
• Five whole years?!? WE ARE JUMPING FIVE WHOLE YEARS INTO THE FUTURE??
• Who are these people in the support group with Capt?
• I wonder if they like did a census to see who was left in the world and if the government or family or somebody took over the businesses, the lives, that people left behind.
• ANT-MAN GOT FREE! Took him 5 years to get out though...
• Wow, the monuments like we have for major war vets is crazy symbolism.
• She lives! Yay! Cassie is alive! Is her mom and stepdad??
• Capt Marvel cut her hair? She looks like she belongs in the Divergent series...
• Black Widow changed her hair again... or did it just grow out?
• Barton? Who is Barton again? Why did he take out gang members?
• Woah woah woah. If time is different in the quantum realm and he was only in there for 5 hours himself, how come Mom was in there for decades and LOOKED like she was in there for decades?
• STARK HAS A KID?!? HOW HAVE I NEVER SEEN ANYTHING ONLINE ABOUT A BABY IRON MAN?!?
• Also, what was up with the blue Iron Man helmet?
• ... Is he Hulk or Banner? He looks like Hulk but speaks like Banner.
• He makes me think of Wreck-It Ralph.
• Aww, he keeps a picture of Peter in his home.
• Does she have Eevee pajamas on? That is cute.
• Y'know, there is a third option. You could give it to the other guys and let them finish figuring it out.
• If we are mastering time travel, what if we send Capt. back to his time so he can mary Peggy? How would that change everything?
• Why is Scott coming back in different forms?
• Hey man, y'all can't get mad at him. All science requires experimentation.
• It is very interesting to think that in the five years that have passed since Thanos snapped his fingers, they really haven't needed superheroes all that much have they? It doesn't seem like there have been major issues.
• Were there that many Asghardians left that you let them make their own town or did we just let Thor have a place?
• Is he beating himself up because he cut off Thanos' head?
• Thor with a dad bod is a little weird.
• That was Hawkeye taking out all the people? Is he Barton? Did he take out the Cartel people?
• Why does Thor look like Jonesy from Fortnite?
• ...If changing the past doesn't change the future why are we going back to change it?
• Did they just say all time travel movies about not being able to change the past are lies??
• Are we sure Thor should be helping with this project? He is rambling...
• This entire thing is like a giant cram session studying for a big test.
• It took them far too long to realize that most of the Infinity Stones went through New York simultaneously.
• So who is staying back to bring them home?
• ...Why does War Machine's helmet resemble his War Machine helmet but the rest have Ant-Man style helmets?
• Can Hulk Banner still get as big as Hulk Hulk?
• You would think if she can see the future and know they were coming that she would know what they need the stone for?
• Why is Thor more heartbroken about seeing his mother again than seeing Jane again?
• They are very excited to be traveling through space.
• Uh oh, she can see her other form's line of sight? That is not good.
• Since when could Hulk Hulk have actual conversations? I thought it was just "Hulk Smash"?
• He just confused the crap out of those people by saying "Hail Hydra".
• Forgot about Hulk Hulk on the stairs did we?
• See, she believes what all the time travel movies are correct, changing something from the past sets the past on a new course.
• So wait, if they are planning on taking all the stones back to exactly where you pulled it from, how are you doing that without more of the Pym atoms?
• Uh oh, he is going to end up getting ahold of the infinity stones sooner than he did in the original timeline, isn't he?
• It is very different hearing that scene without the music behind the singing.
• Did they recreate all of these scenes for the new movie?
• Glad the video thing works both ways, sad that it works at all and messed with their plans.
• Aww, Tony gets to see his dad.
• How does he manage to just accidentally walk into Peggy's office?
• That is kind of funny that Tony is giving his dad advice on how to parent.
• JARVIS WAS A REAL PERSON?!?
• Why is there yellow on one of the Gamora sister characters?
• Is Thanos going to be able to time-travel now?
• IS THIS WHY WE DON'T GET TO SEE BLACK WIDOW AGAIN?!?
• Hawkeye looks so old and sad in this scene.
• Y'know, they already made huge sacrifices, why do they need to sacrifice more?
• What if they hadn't gone in teams and somebody went to that location alone? Then they would never get that stone.
• Also, why is it that they can all suddenly hold the stones but before it was a problem? Seems like there are some inconsistencies to me.
• Why are they fighting over who gets to do the snap? Just somebody do it already.
• Cool, so it worked, and you saved everyone, but Thanos came and destroyed y'all in the process... Are we still gonna get the stones back to where they belong?
  
• Oh, goodie, the devil dogs are back.
• So does this mean a version of Gamora gets to live on???
• So now, instead of taking out half of the population, he is going to take out all of the population?
• When he said hit him, I don't think he meant with the hammer Thor.
• Capt is worthy? Has he always been worthy?
• What is Thanos' sword made of that it can demolish Capt's shield like that?
• How did all of them get there??
• Maybe y'all should've thought to use some of their own tech to fight them? Where's all the stuff from SHIELD?
• Took them all long enough to get there to help fight him.
• PEPPER IS THERE TO HELP TOO ?!?!?
• How is the planet not destroyed after a battle like this one?
• "No, no, no. Give me that. You have the little one."
• I don't know if now is the time for hugs Tony.
• But are we going to be able to get those stones back AND return in that van time machine?
• Did you really expect the van to still be working after everything it has been through?
• I guess his insta-KO abilities came in handy after all.
• CAPTAIN MARVEL!!!!
• Girl squad coming in clutch again. Forget the guys, we roll XX deep.
• ...She really didn't need any help though did she lol.
• How did they lose AGAIN?!?
• Ooo, Tony managed to take the stones away before Thanos could snap! What did he wish for though? Just that Thanos's troops would disappear? Could've at least wished for everyone and everything to go back to their proper timelines without disrupting the course of the future.
• Oh, Thanos blew away too. Maybe he did.
• But what about your daughter Tony??
• Pepper is like, 'Come on, kid, let me say bye to my husband.'
• If that thing on his chest is not actually part of him? Why did the light go out when he died?
• You mean to tell me 5 years go by and Peter and his best bud are still in High School???
• That is so messed up when people think they are going to die, so they make a final farewell video or recording of some form and leave it behind SAYING that there is a chance they won't make it through their choices.
• Is that tall, lanky kid standing in the back supposed to be Peter? He did not look like Peter...
• I don't think his daughter has fully grasped on to the fact that Daddy is not coming back.
• "Asghardians of the Galaxy," they should've named the next one that just to be funny.
• Capt really went back in time and said screw y'all I'm staying back? That is wild.
• Did he stay back because he didn't want to live in a world without Tony Stark?
• But you can't just switch from being the Falcon to being Capt America, you're the Falcon. Stay the Falcon.
• Doesn't him being with Peggy kind of ruin her timeline though? Like now we don't get Agent Carter or whatever impact she had on the development of SHIELD. Not to mention anything we didn't see happen in her timeline. And what about her niece? Does she still come to exist? Does she still play a role in the story the way she did for Ultron?
• Why does Endgame not have credit scenes and post credit scenes?!?