Marvel Movie Reviews w/ Rambo - Black Widow (2021)

  

This movie should have been made sooner in the series. It could have been made sooner in the series. We have had Black Widow in our midst since the Iron Man days. She has recruited so many of the Avengers. She helped keep Hulk sane. She broke them out of prison to reunite them after their falling out. She sacrificed herself to get the infinity stone! She is a very crucial part of this series, of this universe. AND YOU WAITED UNTIL SHE WAS DEAD IN THE SERIES TO GIVE HER A STORY OF HER OWN. Shame on you Marvel. And another thing, we get like 20 minutes, if that, of an actual origin story, and then you jump into what she was doing behind the scenes between the Ultron movie and the Infinity War movies. You couldn't have shown us more of her training and how she came to be as strong as she is? You couldn't have made a mini series with her adventures she went on doing stuff for the wrong side before becoming an Avenger? I feel as though we were robbed of these things. Just as Scarlett Johansson was robbed of her spotlight by putting this movie out so late AND during a global pandemic nonetheless. 

!!! SPOILERS BELOW !!!

• I just realized something as I started the movie... why are we getting a Black Widow movie, AFTER SHE IS PERMANENTLY DEAD?!?
• Is the blue-haired one meant to be her? She does not come off Russian at all.
• The mom looks familiar...
• I'm sorry, did you just call them forest stars? You mean lightning bugs?! Are you serious!?!
• What are they running from?
• Is Dad secretly a power user? He is like super strong...
• Is dad gonna get in the plane or just stay on the wing?
• Undercover work? Are they not a real family?
• They were sold off?
• So is this backtracking then? Not just an origin story of her before SHIELD but her after Ultron?
• She looks content on that ship.
• Hold up, who is this blondie and what just got sprayed in her face? She is acting like a different person now.
• Who is this guy in her trailer home?
• Under the stairs? What stairs? The outside stairs that lead into the trailer? Why leave it out there?
• Shouldn't you at least look to see what is in some of the packages? What if it is something helpful?
• Jesus! Who was waiting for her with a rocket launcher at the ready??
• Does everyone just have shields like Capt now??
• Did she take the vials out at least? Yes, good.
• That is a lot more vials then I thought it would be.
• It was that easy for her to find her sister?
• Why are they fighting?
• You sent it to her but it went to her in Budapest you dummy.
• Why not just chuck the anti-mind control vials at them? One per person. Let it break and free them.
• That was not very stylish falling.
• Did she just blast herself in the face with an energy blast?
• They definitely bicker like sisters.
• Put your seatbelt on?? DID IT HELP AT ALL?
• SHE KOd A LITTLE INNOCENT GIRL?!?
• She's just jealous of the pose and the fact that she became a hero.
• Why a white suit? Was her suit white before the Avengers? The others had black suits so I assumed that was the normal...
• So are we just not going to pull the step ladder thing in before taking off?
• They're going to break somebody out of jail?
• Isn't that the guy who plays the Sheriff in Stranger Things and adopts 11? What if this stint is the time he spent in the Russian prison in that show? lol
• He was the one who started the conversation; can't get upset with her for continuing it in detail.
• OH! It's their fake father.
• Y'all really didn't think to land when you started running out of gas? Instead, you just fell out of the sky? I mean, at least it didn't get destroyed.
• You're gonna get the family back together?
• That is a very long suppressor.
• Why is he trying to fit into his old suit?
• Does he think the two girls are still working on the same side as him? Does he not realize they are trying to tear apart the whole organization?
• I can't tell if mom wants to be free of the organization or believes in the work of the organization...
• The key to unlocking free will or the key to stealing free will?
• The fact that you call it a role to play is what means that it was not real.
• Wow. Mom is a traitor. Should've seen that coming.
• So Mom cared more about them in the beginning when Dad didn't and now the roles are reversed?
• Wouldn't a sky base still be noticeable by organizations like SHIELD? Unless he has cloaking tech I guess...
• YAY!!!! OUR GIRL OUTSMARTED THEM!! I wonder if mom helped or if our girl winged it all the way.
• So mom is in on it then?
• The family is going to be good now!
• Has she always had all those piercings and I just never knew?
• So she didn't kill his daughter!
• He's just casually dismissing his security like that?
• His pheramones stop her from hurting him? How does that work?
• Why is she making him hit her?
• Well, I do not think you will have enough of the cure for all those widows...
• Do you not realize she is no longer an Avenger?
• Oh dang, she was trying to turn of her senses by having him sever the nerve. I can't believe she just bashed her own forehead into the desk.
• So out of curiousity did the sister know that the blue suit agent was his daughter this entire time or not actually?
• Where's sister with the serum vials when you need her??
• Question, could we have used less vials with the same affect? Saved some for the other widows around the world?
• Do those soldiers even have parachutes??
• There is literally no way throwing that shield made it around her seat and out that tiny window to take out that guy.
• It's astonishing that sister didn't hit any of that debris while freefalling like that.
• Did mom and dad actually go back up to try and save people? We haven't seen them since she said they needed to go back...
• Is he actually gone though? Where's his body?
• What's with the whistle? We in the Hunger Games now Katniss?
• Why do they stay on the road? Don't y'all have vehicles that can cut across the grass and dirt yet?
• So was she detained or not?? Because she very much looks free to me!
• I will admit, the fireflies in the tree were a nice little homage to the start of the film.
• So the movie takes place after Ultron but before Infinity War? And the end credit scene takes place after End Game. Got it.
• Who is Valentina?
• What do you mean we are taking out Hawkeye?!? He isn't even the reason she died! She sacrificed herself! Also, how come the Avengers don't get some special burial plot or something??