Lilly's thoughts and opinions on the recent changes to Dead By Daylight

Hello and welcome to some game talk. I try my best to play a lot of games, but I keep going back to a few favorites every time. Dead by Daylight is one of those games, and if you have seen any of my YouTube content, it is probably something related to Dead by Daylight. I don't quite have 1000 hours in the game yet, but as of me writing this, I have 900 hours in the game on Steam, so I am getting there. Dead by Daylight was my gateway into gaming with friends, as I had played a few games on my Xbox and Nintendo DS that were solo, such as Minecraft, Disney Dreamlight Valley, and Nintendogs. But Dead by Daylight was my first game that wasn't really in my comfort zone, and it was multiplayer. My sister said I should try it, and I did. That very night, after I had downloaded it, I hopped into a VC with her friends and tried the game. I wasn't the biggest fan at first, as everything was new, including these people with whom I was now hanging out. For those who don't know, I am an introvert. I don't really like meeting new people or spending time with people, but it has gotten better through streaming, and I am decent at hanging out with people online if I know them a little. Streaming was a way to take me out of my comfort zone, and it really has! I have met some wonderful people through playing DBD and through streaming. I am so glad I tried both. 

Once I got more into the game Dead By Daylight I then experienced some of the different events that they have started doing more often for example the anniversary events of the game being out turned into playing the game as much as possible and getting all the blood points I possibly could because the blood point bonus cakes were in the blood web at the time so it turned into a whole grind situation. Then they started doing the 2v8 limited-time event game mode, and I absolutely love this, as you can play as a killer with your friends. It's so much fun, but it takes roughly 20 minutes to get a match as a killer, and if you are playing survivor, you can get a match almost instantly. I love this game mode so much that I even made a series on it for YouTube, so if you would like to see what I am talking about, you can head on over and check it out. It's called through the killer's eyes. I am recording the content for season two of this series, as so many people loved it. When Behaviour (The makers of the game Dead By Daylight) brought this game mode back, they had added a new feature for the killer. The feature is that if you are playing Killer, you don't have to wait in these ridiculously long killer queues; you can ready up with your friend you are playing killer with for a survivor game. The ratio ends up being 2:1. You get about 2 games as a survivor before you get 1 killer game. This is okay if you like both sides, and I do. However, it can be a little annoying going back and forth. I have been clicking wrong buttons as the killer because when I load into the killer match, my brain is still in survivor mode, plus with my series hanging in the balance, I would like to get more killer games recorded than survivor games. For the series, I like to have a total of twenty-two episodes, just like a regular TV series. 

Don't get me wrong, I love that they have made it so you can play as a survivor while you wait for a killer game. I  just wish the ratio were a little more balanced. They could introduce some incentives to have new people play the game, such as some free cosmetics for simply playing during the event, and not just a login bonus while this specific event is running. Maybe one day they will fix it, but maybe not. One can always hope.

Thank you so much for reading my mad ramblings. I hope you have a great rest of your day, and I will see you in the next one. 

Words May Not Be Knives But They Still Sting

"You aren't better than anybody."

As if I didn't already know that. Thank you so kindly for pointing it out and giving one final nail in the coffin to end the day.

I was not expecting those words to come out of your mouth. Not out of the mouth of somebody I thought I was on good terms with. Not out of the mouth of somebody who was my mentor. Not out of the mouth of somebody who just a few days ago was sending my Instagram reels about Build-A-Bear, and I was sending photos back because I already had seen and gotten it.

You saying those words, directed at me or otherwise, sent me spiraling. I didn't say anything back to you; it would have been disrespectful. But in my head, all I could think was, I know I'm not. I am less than worthy. I am less than dirt. All I could think about were all my faults, all the wrongs I have ever done in my entire life. How I wish I could take it all back, change every little detail. But then I realize I am not me without these flaws, without these mistakes. Some would even say I am not human without them.

Does it make me less sad, no, but it makes me realize just a little that the tears I held back then, the tears I let stream down my face as I was driving away later on, weren't worth shedding.

I shed them anyway, though, because words do hurt. They leave mental scars that are nearly impossible to heal.

Don't Stress, Know Your Worth

I took some time away from writing to catch up on content creation. 

I really hate to fall behind on anything, but it can be hard to find the motivation. I know personally, I have been struggling to keep on top of things recently, and I wanted to drop everyone a reminder that whatever you have going on in your life that you may be struggling with right now; you have the power to take control and not feel lost out at sea drowning like you may feel from time to time. 

If it's work that is taking over your life, set boundaries. It's not your job to take on more than you can do. Act your wage. I like this phrase because I was doing so much for the last company I worked for; they just kept piling things on me to get sorted on my shifts, and honestly, it was far too much. I think back to those times a lot; it helps me stay on the course I have set out for myself, and you can do the same. The extra tasks I was given were ridiculous since I worked nights, and more often than not, I was on my own trying to get everything done when I was picking up tasks that the staff who worked in the day time should have completed. I loved that job, but the more that was piled on that I couldn't handle, plus some of the staff being hostile, made work so stressful when it really didn't need to be. So only take on what you can handle. Do not overwhelm yourself with a company; after all, they would easily fill your position if you left. If they want to add more tasks to your daily to-do list, speak up, ask what compensation you will be getting for taking on the extra workload. 

You got this! ~ Lilly