Did You Know You Can Control Your Dreams?

Welcome to my very excited segment of how I had my first lucid dream after trying for years to manipulate my dreams. 

A little backstory, quickly, I stopped saying good night to people and started saying sweet nightmares because I would have nightmares way more often than dreams, it felt like a little secret that was mine and mine alone. I was hoping that their nightmares would be sweet and nothing like what my brain was coming up with. 

For years, I had dreams of being chased by clowns, drowning, seeing everyone I loved die in horrific manors, and the worst one SPIDERS. I do not like spiders one iota (one 'bit' for my American friends). 

My first lucid dream was me exploring an abandoned caravan. This place was filthy, covered in dust, and had large cobwebs everywhere. The last location in this caravan I explored was the bedroom. This was where the nest of black widow spiders lived. I went in and found a huge female spider; she told me she was the queen and controlled all her children. She continued on saying I would not get out alive. She tried sending her children to feast upon the meal that stood before them (me), but none of them moved more than a few centimeters. I told her I was in charge and that they would do what I wanted. I controlled them, and it turned out we liked each other's company. I would let her children crawl up my arms and into my hands just to hang out. That's when I realized I was in control of my own dream. 

Spider dreams often end up with me waking up sweating after they have crawled up my body and cocooned me to save for later. But I'm so happy to have finally achieved a successful lucid dream, and I can't wait to see if I will be able to do it again in the future. 

Thank you so much for reading. I know this one was shorter, but I wanted it to have its own time to shine with nothing overshadowing it. 

Have a great rest of your day and stay hydrated, you wonderful beans <3

Just A Little Check-In With Lilly

I had to take my cat to the vets this week because there was blood in her poo. I bought some worming stuff safe for kittens, as the vet thought it could be a parasite in her lower gut. Fingers crossed it clears up because I hate to think my baby is in pain or unwell. In other news, the pond is still clean (cleaned it out recently) and the heron has not been back to attack the fishies (I told this story in one of Luna's streams). We have 70 fish in said pond. I am hoping to do movie reviews and book reviews when I have consumed some new content myself, rather than making content all the time and burning myself out. I don't think it's talked about enough. But do not overdo it if you feel you have a lack of motivation and energy, please take a day off, take some time to look after yourself, eat a great meal, drink some water, or maybe relax with a book under a blanket or watch a movie on the couch. You are important and you matter, don't burn yourself out for a job that is barely paying you enough to survive because lets be honest, most people are on minimum wage and barely surviving some people work two jobs just to provide for their family not taking their own health both physical and mental into consideration. You deserve some me time. Challenge yourself to find an hour a day to do something that's just for you. Not your boss. Not your job. Not your family. Taking care of yourself needs to be a priority. I know this isn't my usual content, but I just felt like this would be nice to share. All the ups and downs, have a great rest of your day, and stay hydrated, you wonderful beans <3

The Type Of Person You Are - Relationship Cheater

Welcome back to my excited ramblings. I have thought about more I want to say, and each week there will be a small update, and if I've watched or read something, I will tell you about that too!

So, I have started recording a podcast with two people I hold very dear in my heart, and so far it's going well. I have made characters for myself and one of the other folks involved to make the visuals easier for the viewers/listeners to know who is talking, and while yes, it may not have been completely necessary, it was a fun activity to do because who doesn't love procrastinating one project with the next. (God knows Rambo does lol) 

I'm very excited to be working on the podcast, as we have spoken about it as a group of three for a whole year, so I finally said, let's just go for it and start. It may not be normal, but I love to stock up on content just in case something happens, so we have decided as a group to stock up on about 20 episodes just in case we can't record specific days. Illness could get in the way, and people go away for holidays, and any family emergency could happen at any point. So I would rather be overprepared than under if you get me. You could view me as the type to overpack on a holiday, but my last holiday, I actually didn't pack enough socks, so I had to pinch my socks off of my boyfriend at the time. 

Which leads us into my actual story-time tale for you. He isn't my boyfriend anymore. I was set to go on yet another big family trip with him when, just a few days before we flew out to America, he went out clubbing and cheated on me with a man. It was also 2 or 3 days before my birthday, so that really hurt me because I knew I was going to spend almost 2 weeks in a foreign country with him and his family. It was too late to back out, and I had paid for my flight and my part of the accommodation. Couldn't lose out on that well-earned money I had spent, y'know?

Regardless, I'm so glad I went because I got to see Florida, and it was a great time. In the back of my mind, I always knew he was going to be reminded of me because his family took so many group pictures, so if he looks back, he will forever be reminded of how he messed it up. 

I pictured marrying this man, I truly loved him, and the day I saw the video of him French kissing this other man, it felt like my heart shattered into a million pieces, but I had to pull myself together and not make him aware that I knew what he did while we were in America. Granted, this happened a long time ago, and I'm fully over it at this point. I still think about it from time to time. I wonder if I did the right thing or not. Literally a day before we were meant to fly out, my mum was saying 'you are really brave for going through with this' and 'you don't have to go if you don't want to'. I just kept reminding myself that there was no point wasting the money I had worked so hard to save up for this trip, that I wasn't going to let my emotions get in the way. 

There was one night where most people had gone to bed and I was left alone chilling in the hot tub with his dad who confronted me because he knew something was off so I told him what the problem was, I didn't want to tell him but I did because he wouldn't let me leave the conversation until I told him the problem. So I told him and asked him to not say anything because I was still figuring out if I could forgive him because I did love him. I cried, his dad hugged me, and he dropped the conversation, but I guess I was on borrowed time from then on. 

My ex couldn't believe I knew the truth, as he found out from his dad the night we got home. So we broke up over the phone, him telling me how sorry he was and that he would never do it again. I vaguely remember the call ended with me saying 'Once a cheater, always a cheater'.

Thank you for reading my rambling. I didn't think the story would be that long, but live and learn, as they say. I am stronger from that experience, but it's not a nice feeling to have. 

There was so much more to the story as well, but I don't wish to bore. 

Have a great rest of your day and stay hydrated you wonderful beans <3