The Trouble with the Word Love

The trouble with the word love, is that I don't understand the meaning of it. The love I have been shown, has been full of lies and deceit. The love I have been shown has been manipulative. 

I'm sure there have been a number of times people have said it and meant it in regards to myself and the moment. But the times when it was not sincere or meaningful vastly outweigh the times when those people in my life just want to help me.

I think I love. I think I understand what I'm saying or doing. But I throw that word out there so often, it does not have a backing.

I love my family. 

I love my friends. 

I love science. 

I love books. 

I love music. 

I love my followers and supporters.

These statements all have different backing to them.

The problem with love, is that it's hard to understand. Its difficult to interpret. It's impossible to hold on to.

And so that "love" that you're trying to show me? 

It makes me feel empty. 

It makes me feel lonely. 

It makes me feel starved. 

It makes me feel isolated. 

It makes me feel malnourished.