Inside the Criminal Mind By Stanton E. Samenow

Inside the Criminal Mind Summary and Reaction

            It’s hard for most to comprehend why a criminal does what he/she does, it’s harder to try and get them not to do what they do. For decades people have been trying to understand what convinces another person to commit a violent act; what makes them so different from everyone else. Within Samenow’s Inside the Criminal Mind, studies are documented and research is shown that discusses what exactly makes criminals, of all sorts; tick. Not only for the use of local and federal agents; this book puts everything into simple terms that practically anyone can understand.

            The original research began at St. Elizabeth’s Hospital in Washington D.C. in 1961 with Dr. Yochelson. It wasn’t until 1970 that Samenow joined him and in 1976 he completely took over the program due to the death of Yochelson. At the time, being a criminal was thought to mean that you had a specific personality that could easily be defined and changed. To further evaluate this, they first had to classify what a crime included.

            Samenow discussing in his first chapter, how it isn’t fair to always think of criminals as the enemy; at one point they were all a victim too. Having violent parents or growing up in harsh situations can cause a mental precinct to behave similarly. There are some beliefs such as video games and poverty, however; that don’t actually create violent intentions. Eventually in 2011, after further research; the CDC published a list of “Risk Factors for the Perpetration of Youth Violence” which Samenow discusses on page 14. Within the knowledge presented, it is pointed out that only roughly 75% of criminal cases actually pertain to a person with a form of brain disease.

            Within chapter two; Samenow discusses a continuation study of Baumrind's parenting styles. His findings consisted of the following; authoritarian parents cause children to become hostile, resentful, and aggressive while permissive parents give their children a sense of omnipotence or great power. It is also discussed how not every child turns out the same.

Much like the distribution of genetics; it was also found that even though children can grow up in the same situation they tend to take away different information and turn out completely different. One child may describe their parents as the cause of their frustration and anger while another child of the same family will say that the methods of their parents encouraged them to achieve something better.

Many people describe criminals as if they are toddlers; especially their parents. When their child begins to act up, parents begin to notice and try to help but are pushed away. Even when a child gets in big trouble and the parents seem to hate them, they try to show support and get the child treated; most times it backfires on the parents though.

Clearly stated in the title of his third chapter; Samenow also touches on the subject of peer pressure. It is mentioned how peer pressure itself is no excuse for criminal behavior; on the contrary, it is the underlying causation. This can include strict parents who insist on knowing where their child is 24/7. Due to this; children hide their friends and activities from their parents so they can continue to have a certain type of reputation. The lifestyle of a family and the wants of an individual together are what shape the actions of people in the future.

In chapter four; a connection is made between school and violent behavior. There are three types of students in particular that are studied; drop outs, drop offs, and high achievers.

Drop outs are the ones that completely quite school when they become old enough. These students often feel threatened and are avoiding certain situations. They are also the ones that sneak out of class to damage school property and break into a teacher’s car. (When questioned, nearly 94% of teachers admitted to being victims of some sort; 44% to physical, 72% to harassment, and 50% to theft.) Through these and other methods, students seek attention and take valuable learning time away from others.

Drop offs are the students that appear to be doing well in their classes but have an exterior motive. Leaving little room for others to think they would do wrong, these students believe everything they say is 100% true. Some students become misdiagnosed and use that to their advantage; they shape their teacher’s actions to accommodate their intended behavior such as turning in late assignments.

High achievers on the other hand; do very well so they may attend college and live life as they wish. However, they don’t choose a college based on courses; instead they decide based on the sports teams and if the school is well known for its parties. Because parents don’t always see college report cards, students choose not to attend class and lie about it. They are also constantly fighting with roommates, teachers, organizations, etc.

On a similar note; Samenow moves on to work or career choices in chapter five. Criminals often believe they can achieve anything they want and sometimes believe they have a better shot at a task than others. Once they have what they want, criminals often let things slip and are caught thus being fired. As will be discussed numerous times throughout the book; criminals do not believe they are doing anything wrong. They think that because they can successfully “cheat the system” they should take advantage and live large. They also believe that they should never have to start at the bottom and should immediately be given a position of great authority; if they don’t they will often harm somebody they can blame.

Based on this knowledge and the implications of the vice versa, many things can be inferred. Such as the notion that both bank robbers and corporate officials can both be deemed criminals. Both try to remain undetected and both know right from wrong but they still act a certain way. Criminals often manipulate people into doing their bidding and if they had been asked as a child what they wanted to be when they grew up, their answers would have consisted of power as compared to helping the community.

The thought paths of a criminal are discussed in chapter six. This situation should be thought of as a chess game; the criminal is the hand manipulating the people around them and those people are the pawns. Just because somebody has only been convicted of one crime, doesn’t mean they haven’t committed others. Previous crimes are often so small that they just haven’t been detected. Some crimes are often pushed off with the excuse that the victim caused it, that it was purely the victims fault. When no motive seems present at all, it is often just to merely entertain the criminals. Criminals block out their conscience so there is nothing to stop them and worry about the justification of the action after it is already done.

Changing topics to a certain type of criminal; Samenow discusses sexual crimes in chapter seven of his book. Ironically seven different sorts are discussed; voyeurism, indecent exposure, rape, sexual exploitation, sex with minors, pedophilia, and child pornography. For those who do not know, voyeurism is the act of peeking through windows or spying. This act is often done to compensate for something in another relationship. Indecent exposure involves showing private parts in a public space. This is often done to relieve depression or anxiety and to feel better about one’s self. Both of the previous scenarios involve a feeling that the victim wants it to be done and the criminal normally fantasizes about such. Rapists due not always appear as such; they begin by having sex at a very early age and decide that it is boring so they try to liven it up by doing it with random strangers. A want or need for power also plays into this as well as sexual exploitation. Sexual Exploitation includes people of power using their position to get what they want in turn for a favor of some value; this is a popular topic among movies. Sex with minors, although hard to believe; is often initiated by parents. Children trust their parents and think that everything is fine. They bring their friends over not knowing that they are providing more victims. Pedophiles similarly believe they are acting as a teacher for the children. The children often feel there is nothing they can do to stop it because they are young and the elder has power over their lives due to some connection to the family. Child pornography, although well known is often misunderstood; it can consist of receiving, distributing and/or creating the porn. Some don’t do anything other than view the footage repeatedly but that doesn’t mean they aren’t committing a crime.

Back on the topic of criminals believing they aren’t doing anything wrong and that others should do as they say; Samenow discusses anger flaring into rage in chapter eight. People within the criminals life such as a spouse or children, walk on eggshells because they never know when something may blow up in their face. Even daily tasks such as talk of sports or recommendations can cause uproar. This easily angered trait is due to a low tolerance level. Some criminals appear bipolar and may be fine one moment and then may create havoc the next.  Trying to help these criminals through anger management just makes things worse. They must first become aware of other ways to think of situations. Then you can eliminate their thought processing.

Investigating the thought that drugs cause criminal behavior; chapter nine points out that drugs just let the unconscious have a turn to be in control. The act of using a drug is often blamed on things such as “everyone is doing it” or that “it takes away my pain”, only a very few admit they do it for the rush they feel. For each drug there is an anticipated outcome. For amphetamines it’s the infusion of energy but it causes a severe letdown. For opiates; no fear and sharper thoughts, but it creates a dependency of it to get things done. For sedative hypnotics; an “I don’t care attitude”, but it causes a physical dependence. For marijuana; it’s merely the thought that it is easy to attain. For alcohol; courage is wanted, but it interferes with coordination. Many users get an after affect that is merely their inner thoughts coming out; this is what causes a crime to occur. The doctors that prescribe unnecessary drugs to people are just as much at fault in the crime too.

In chapter ten it is discussed how crimes are a form of terrorism thus making criminals terrorists. The definition of terrorism is any act intended to intimidate or coerce a civilian population. Terrorists, as we think of them; often claim they commit acts to support a religion. Although reports are often bias, they show that behavior is exhibited early on in life; such is the case with Hitler and many infamous people.

Chapter eleven tries to paint the picture criminals see themselves as. This includes being overall good, attending school, holding a job, being responsible, etc. Many if not most criminals also seem to have a natural gift for the arts whether it be musically or visually; the only problem is that they easily get tired of the same thing or become impatient. A lot of criminals have the same standards as every day people but there is a fine line that separates what they do from what others do, this is why the fights within jailhouses occur; this fine line can be called a jnd or just noticeable difference. Anyone can be a victim and anyone can be a criminal it is just the environment and how you perceive their actions that determine how you view them.

Within chapter twelve, Samenow goes into further depth with how a mental illness may create a criminal but others think it just to be a personality trait. It can sometimes be difficult to determine the root of behavior due to multiple diagnoses. Even when the diagnosis is right on point, a criminal cannot be helped by merely changing their behavior; there will always be a chance they revert back to their former actions. Furthermore, just dubbing someone as mentally insane does not mean they don’t know right from wrong. That is why the insanity plea isn’t used as often as we are led to believe; in fact it is banned in some states.

When it comes to housing criminals, Samenow dedicates an entire chapter. Because it costs as much to house an inmate as it does to attend an Ivy League college, criminals are urged to use their time in jail to their advantage. This can include bettering themselves through spirit or knowledge. Some criminals spend time in the prison library to try and find a way to help fight their case. Those who find it pointless to try and better themselves start to contemplate suicide as their only option. Other outlets include religion and while most use it as an excuse to receive special privileges, others actually sincerely want to find peace.  Although by the end of their sentence many criminals seem to have changed, they begin to miss their old ways after being released and eventually revert to their old ways.

The rehabilitation process of criminals is documented in Samenow’s fourteenth chapter. In this chapter he discusses how four tenths of released criminals are rearrested. He also discusses how statistics show that most inmates test better than the average population. This is because prisons often supply college or vocational schooling to the inmates. Inmates are also encouraged to write about their life experience in hopes that it will help them see their mistakes. The programs set forth in prisons never actually seem to help and most people find it a waste of resources, especially since four times as much money is spent on them than is spent on the education of youth.

In the second to last chapter of Samenow’s book, research done by Yochelson is presented the same way it was when the book was first presented in 1984. It discusses how he originally came to begin this project and the steps he took. Yochelson transferred to the hospital for a change in scenery and slowly discovered that it wasn’t through past events that he could change criminal behavior but by focusing on the present and future. By focusing on the current state of minds of the criminals, Yochelson had to help them create a 180 degree change in their thought process. One of Yochelson’s final “patients” was a man named Leroy and throughout the chapter you follow his story. Within his story you learn that he was placed in a group of other criminals all in different stages of change. They were all asked to write down their thoughts every day and then to share with the group so they could reflect. Hopefully this would help them to see how they could better others and themselves based on the stories others in similar situations told.

Some of the people like Leroy enjoyed trying to be better after they became familiar to the new situation. This was mainly due to the high they seemed to acquire. In Leroy’s case; when activities arose that he shouldn’t partake in he would start to do them and then tell himself “no” and walk away, he felt pride in this. To further this, Yochelson advised that Leroy try not to release any anger or frustration unto others. As well as to try and change thought paths when things such as drugs or rape entered their consciousness.

Very slowly, Leroy began to join the conversations and contribute his thoughts. Although he may not have liked it, he became a valuable member of the group instead of the leader; it can be assumed that all the members went through this same scenario.

This study continued on even after the patients were released from the hospital. They made significant process until Yochelson passed away in 1976. During the next few years there were some bumps in the road. But, progress remained and the chapter ends by following up on the progress of Leroy. He has became known as a kind and caring person throughout his community. Much like with Leroy, hope is stored within the pages of Samenow’s book. Giving modern examples in hopes to further our knowledge so we can help the ones we call criminals.

Reflection

The modern language and examples work to give Samenow’s book, Inside the Criminal Mind; a spectacular appeal to all. Even those that don’t plan on pursuing a career in a social field will find this book very informative. Thoughts that may have never occurred to some are being unraveled right before their eyes. Behind every topic is another curiosity answered.

The book begins with a question that hadn’t occurred to a few; could it be a genetic disposition? By revealing the truth behind common myths, Samenow disproves this theory and continues on to keep any hint of doubt away from this.

Although it is mentioned that some will face a case known as “medical student syndrome” you still get the urge to try and relate details from your own life to that of the examples provided. For instance the thought of peer pressure can cause you to think of recent gang movies you have seen in theaters. Or the behavior of peers around you matching those of a case a few states away.

The entire preconceived idea you have of criminals is questioned as you read on about the different types there are. How adults who commit crimes often have a maturity and plan similar to that of a teenage criminal. Or how they may seem inhumane but are really just acting upon a hidden notion that has been repressed for years and finally had to burst out. Other ideas are proven correct. Such as criminals thinking they are better than everyone else.

Many ideas already ingrained in our minds are expanded and become better informed. Such as the different titles for crimes of similar nature. Not everything can be described as well as some may think however. A lot of information is provided in a more comprehensible manner somewhere else.

Some information provided even causes for the creation of new questions. For example; let’s say someone is having anger management issues but cannot be helped, that same person however has not been acquitted of any crimes; what is that person considered to be? He isn’t a criminal but he isn’t a free spirited person either. Or on the topic of drugs; even if use of them were to come to a complete halt, would crime really cease to exist? Couldn’t those same people just find a way to encourage themselves and continue to commit crimes if they really wished to?

Later on; Samenow tries to answer as many questions as he can, such as the proposed question of why nobody tries to stop these people from becoming criminals early on in their lives. The answer provided is that they can be deceiving.

The information provided in this book is astonishing and the way that it ties in to basic psychological principles is great. Bipolarism for instance is discussed in length and while providing evidence leading to the former it is also shown that the latter is true too.

While it’s sad to think that a lot of the events provided really occurred it is helpful to be able to apply the information to real life situations. Perhaps insight will provide people with the push they need to make a difference.

Samenow’s book has its flaws but it also has its perks. Easy to understand language and scenarios create a helpful aspect while the in depth reasoning and small contradictions cause for a dreary drag on tale. 

Wanting to Talk but Not having the Guts

Ever get that feeling, when there is something you just have to tell someone? Sometimes it may be telling a guy that you like them. Maybe you want to tell a friend how much they've wrecked things not only for themselves but for you. Or how about those little daily incidents we call life? Everyone everywhere has something they need to say and most are too afraid to say anything; we for instance hide behind our blog. We talk of all these lessons we learn and we discuss our aggravations with you but we never go beyond that.

More and more life is becoming an act; you put on a show to get people to accept you but we all have issues and should all be accepting each other for them. We shouldn't be afraid to be who we are. We shouldn't be afraid to speak our minds. We shouldn't be afraid of telling a friend how much it upsets is that they completely ditch is because of one friend. We shouldn't be afraid to go against our parents demands and be the brightest person we can. We shouldn't be afraid of ignoring that bitch at the table two over when we want to speak to her friend. We shouldn't be afraid of not being what the rest of the world wants. We shouldn't be afraid of anything. And we certainly shouldn't be afraid of taking our own advice. But that is exactly what we are, it's what we do as often as we can.

And so we continue to hide behind a mask. We continue to watch our friends completely ignore us because of others. We hide our tasks in fear of being punished. We put on a smile and pretend like we aren't dying inside when we are left out of the loop. We continue to live life never expecting more than we already get.

Everyone has problems. What are yours?

Class Presentations: Trying to Make it Fun While Remaining Your Age

It's always great to get down and dirty with your tasks. That's exactly what happened while finishing up my final project. These are a few of the photos taken while we created our deadly situations.

Class Presentation: Final Project; Deadly Situations

Everyone knows that classes usually end the year with some sort of big project; well one of my classes that I have been taking for years now let's us choose our own topics. Of course, being as into the mysterious and unknown as I am, I tend to choose topics involving death each year. This year it was solely on the different types of deadly situations in the world. You should try and check it out sometime; I've placed it on google slides and provided the link below just for you!!!! Tell me what you think and if you really want you can even complete the tasks that correspond to it.

My Final Project

Serving the Community

There are many ways to help out the people around you. You can mow the lawn of that elderly woman down the street. You can help that new neighbor carry all their groceries in the house. You can buy that homeless man on the corner a burger and fries.

Usually I help out through my church. Over the summer we host VBS for the kids who need something to keep them occupied. On nights when it's just too cold outside, we house the homeless. Once a month we offer a free dinner with appetizers and dessert included to anyone who shows.

What do you do for your community?

Are you helping the world become a better place or are you letting it continue on it's downward spiral?

Make your choice.

End of the Year Projects

Having projects be your final grade is great. It helps bring up your grades tremendously if you need it to. The thing is though, that every teacher has started giving book reports as the final project. When you have three or more classes with this, all due on the same week; it can be a little rough. Now throw in a powerpoint project, a short story project, more classwork, and studying for all exams; you are toast.

Choose your poison wisely my friends. It could be the death of your brain for the summer. Reincarnated only to be struck by summer assignments and the return of school in September!

Nerds Unite!!

So I didn't realize it soon enough to do a post about it but I'll mention it today; May the Fourth Be With You!

There are few things that nerds/geeks do that get the rest of the world excited and involved. Star Wars is one. Lord of the Rings is another.

Be proud of what you are and everything you do!

The Ease

Ever realize that all the time you spend stressing seems to be for nothing after the task is actually done? I have. We all are aware by now that I had exams today and was stressing non-stop; but the exams actually didn't seem to bad when I was actually sitting there taking them. This could mean one of two things; either I was totally over prepared and did great or my brain just said screw it and just picked random answers.

While I would love to rant about what I new off the bat and what made me sit there and blunder but sadly I am swarn to secrecy.

HaHaHa

I honestly don't care about that little pack thing but I don't really remember much of the questions; this doesn't help my cause for getting a good grade though.

Come July we will have my results. Let's hope they are good.

Relaxation is the Key

Seeing as exams are just over twelve hours away; you would think I would be stressing out majorly, but I'm surprisingly not; yet...

I had originally planned on spending all day studying and stressing over getting a really good score on my tests. After all, it will affect how long I may have to go to college for.

Instead, we skipped church and have been lounging around all day watching movies, it's oddly comforting; but I'm willing to bet everyone a hundred dollars that come the time of the exam I will be ready to rip my hair out.

Going to college and eventually making enough money to easily support my entire family has always been my goal. Especially since we havent been able to afford everything. But that won't happen if I can't get into college. Passing these exams can help me cut the cost tremendously, getting a four on the two I take tomorrow alone will help pay for half a two classes. If I can manage to get fours on all the exams I take this year and next, I can start out college as a sophomore!! How crazy would that be?!

So while I should be panicking, I'm not, and it worries me on just how poorly I'm going to do.

Everyone please pray for me; I need all the help I can get to be where I want to in the future.

Last Session

Oh my frickin god!!!!!!!! I'm definitely stressing out over these exams and it's going to screw with my scores!!! In order for the classes to count as college credit at the college I hope to attend, I need a four or higher on both exams....!!!!! Somebody kill me now!!!!! I'm freaking out too much and I'm definitely completely unprepared!!! What am I going to do next year when I will have three or four to do?! AAHHHHHHHH

I'm sorry but this is a perfectly normal reaction for teenagers and if you don't act out on something like this than there is something wrong with you. Please stop making things worse for the people that feel this way and try to help them through their struggles.

FYI that is a 100% true statement of how I've been feeling today with all the pressure.

Immaturity: School Kids Playing Games

You know, I was going to do a post about how the first month has been rough trying to get the posts up when i post them and stuff but that all changed after school today.

Apparently students still find it funny to place bomb threats and cause an epidemic.

Early in the morning, both teachers and students alike discovered not one but two threats in the bathrooms of our schools. The entire building was evacuated by 9:30 and the police arrived no later than 10:00 am. By 11 the juniors and sophomores going to prom were dismissed and at 12 the rest of the student body who did not care for their possessions right away were transported home.

But for the rest of us that needed our objects that were left inside the school; we all had to wait until 1 pm to retrieve them.

I for one was not worried about things such as phones and keys like most others; no, I have to be the frickin nerd who waits to go inside to get my textbooks so I may study for exams on Monday.

Well the teachers liked that about me; just another reason I am a teacher's pet I guess.

Honestly though, that was nearly four hours that we were stuck outside doing absolutely nothing when I could have been getting through more review!

Everyone needs to just grow up and let things play out the way they are intended to; and that doesn't involve writing bomb threats on the mirrors in school bathrooms!

Destructive Decisions While Driving

I find that people either take this sort of discussion way too seriously or not seriously enough.

Every year right before the senior prom, my school's division of the SADD program puts together a mock car crash where they have real students all done up and have our townships police and fire department use real tools to show what it was all really like. For the following 36 hours the students are not allowed to have any communication with the outside world and it is all meant to be as if they all were actually killed or thrown in jail. Parent's put together obituaries and sometimes they even have a teacher die as well.

The students in the school disrespect the people that agree to participate and it is very saddening. Some students on the other hand, get so overwhelmed that they are stuck in a trance for the proceeding week.

Every one should know of the dangers and take it seriously; it could be you that is ending somebody else's life because of a stupid choice, or are even killed because of somebody else's who you don't even know.

Every thirty minutes somebody in the United States is killed by a drunk driver; even more are killed when you add in all the forms of destructive behaviors.

Please think before you act, you may just save a life.

Caffeine!!!!!

Now, normally I denote staying up till the early hours of the morning; but I myself have done this on occasion; especially recently.

Without good reason, you should not stay up too late; not getting proper sleep can mess with your mental state. Even with good reason, it still messes with your mental state; some times it is worth it however.

For instance, exams are slowly approaching and anxiety is high; the only logical solution seems to be every available second to prepare for it. With everything else going on though, there isn't enough time. And so, time is taken away from where it is most important just to make yourself feel more confident.

With caffeine pills or in my case, hot chocolate at the ready; the hours tick by as you down every bit just to stay awake a hour or two more to get that extras studying in.

Don't get too crazy however; you can risk some serious damage. Maybe you'll even be too tired to even complete the task you worked so hard for.

Plan ahead. Don't be a crazy risk taker.

Unexpected Friends in Unusual Circumstances

I've never been one for having lots of friends, I usually just have two or three really good friends for short periods of time. This is normal for teens, so is having rivals and having people you just never ever seemed to talk to even though you saw each other every day.

It surprises me when one of these people I have known for so long, starts talking to me and wants to hang out of the blue.

While being assigned a project today, a person I have known since seventh grade yelled across the room and asked if I would be their partner. I didn't know how to respond! Of course being at a loss of words just committed me to the partnership... For the rest of the day and for the past hour or so; I have been casually chatting this person and it weirds me out a little. Only in the slightest though.

There's a part of me that can't wait for everything to go back to normal and have them stare at me in a demeaning way but then there's also this little part of me that wishes we could become really good friends and some of their popularity and glamour will rub off.

Turns out however that she only asked me because her usual partner hasn't been speaking to her and she needs somebody artistic. Oh well. So much for that idea.

Sticks and Stones May Break Bones

I have a close friend who always seems to find a way to break her bones. Only knowing her for three years has limited my knowledge of the causes but from word of mouth, I have come to learn that she has broken a bone in the same leg every year for at least the past seven years..... That implies that it all started in fourth grade!!!! (that may be a slight exaggeration...)

Her causes range tremendously. Our freshman year it was because she jumped off the stage during a practice. Last year it was due to some weird game involving slight movement sin an attempt to touch one another. And just this past weekend she chipped the bone while playing soccer with her boyfriend.

This marvelous person has a serious problem of injuring herself no matter what she tries to do. But she doesn't let it affect her; she swallows a hand full of cashews and continues on as if nothing happened.

420

Usually I don't care to comment on the habits of others pertaining towards drugs and alcohol but some things go a bit too far. Students should not be taking advantage of the date to mean that they can go into school high and then continue it throughout the day by going to the bathrooms. You also should not feel the need to fill everyone's day with posts involving pictures of you with blood shot eyes and a boul in your hand.
From a personal experience with my older brother I know the damage that can be caused to families all because somebody smokes pot. My brother even got his close friend of seven years to smoke too and now that friend is in and out of half way houses because he committed serious crimes to aid his addiction.
It's your choice what you do with your life but think of the consequences not only you will face but also everyone that is around you.

Our Social Media Accounts

Everything has a social media outlet anymore. That's right, I said thing, not person. And so there is now a Twitter for this blog; I hope to make a Facebook page as well but for now we will stick to Twitter. Obviously I won't today but starting tomorrow I shall post updates of the daily topics and take recommendations for others. It would also be interesting to start an Instagram to post pictures of the books I read and possibly the situations I face, but we shall see. That is all, for now.

Twitter: @NightDweller013

Email: NightDweller013@gmail.com

Child Custody Issues

It would quite honestly take forever to tell you the entire story of what has happened with my older sister so I shall just skip all the non-sense for now and tell you what is important at this moment.

This past summer she was forced to come home to stay with us and bring my nephew with; she however disregarded this and moved around willy nilly until she met a new boyfriend, let's keep in mind that she is still married to my nephew's father. Her new boyfriend absolutely hates kids, in fact he has paid for her to have an abortion already; this being said, I partially blame him for my sister sending my nephew away but it's mostly her stupidity.

We all came to the realization that we were never going to see my nephew again; I thought she had come to those terms as well. Apparently however she has been given a notion to return to California to see her abusive in laws and take back my nephew. This could very well be the end of my sister, her past has been filled with life threatening situations all because of them and now that that she has given them what they wanted all along, they won't stand for her to just change her mind.

Normally it's the mother's right to keep the child but due to some legal disputes with her mental state, the father and his family were given complete custody once she gave him up.

I wish she would've thought about her decision some more first and possibly just given him to my parent's and I like we had wanted instead of sending him of to grow up an abusive criminal.

Procrastination

Going off of yesterday's tirade; waiting till the last minute isn't a great way to get where you want to be; unless you're just that good.

We were allotted an extra month to our already month long time to write and essay and I still managed to wait until tonight to complete it. Yesterday I read the book from cover to cover and during church I wrote out a three page report. I managed to finish with time to write this post but the stress having to get the thing done in such short time imposed on me was dreadful.

So trying to keep this as simple as possible so I may still receive enough sleep to accomplish what I need to tomorrow; don't leave anything until the very end, time yourself and get it done step by step.

Update: Still managing to hand the report in on time I received a 83% on it; mostly because I supported my too lengthy of a quote in too short of an explanation.

Hard Work

To get anywhere in today's world you need to be good at a lot of crap and that involves dedication that not everyone has and time. I for one want to major in forensic science with a minor in criminal justice; this involves a lot of prior knowledge and experience.

1. Biology *
2. Chemistry*
3. AP Biology
4. AP Chemistry*
5. AP Psychology*
6. AP Calculus
7. AP Stat
8. Physics
9. Anatomy

(the * mean i have either finished or am in the process of finishing)

This is a lot to focus on accomplishing in so little time, this is all just in high school FYI.

All of this I work hard to pass. I attend all classes weather I am sick or not and take daily notes. My afternoons are dedicated to studying even though I wish to play video games or sit outside in the sun with a good book. My Saturday's involve study sessions with my teachers.  And family time consists of me sitting in the room with a little light rereading the sections.

We can only hope that all this time and effort we put into the things we do will get us to where we want to be. There are many people who end up changing their plans and everything they have al;ready done was for nothing.

Don't be a statistic, a fry-cook, a wanna be; be everything and anything you want to. Give everything your all.

Death in the Family

So tomorrow marks two months since my grandfather passed away. I don't think it has actually hit my grandmother yet, sometimes it doesn't hit people for years. This isn't good though, things need to be done, we need to try and fill the hole he has left behind in our lives. It's hard to move on, especially if others are unwilling to let you.
My grandfather helped everyone with their car inspections, he helped build homes, he kept my immediate family in a somewhat non hostile relationship with the other part. These are all things that are falling apart without him.
We try to help but my grandmother won't let us. My dad is the only one who can come close to fillin the shoes but he isn't allowed to use anything that my grandfather touched. It's ridiculous. We need to start living our lives again. This can't continue, however sad the event was. I'm sorry.

Video Games

Okay, I get it, video games are great, I'm a gamer too. But does anybody else get annoyed when that one person takes complete control? It starts as them asking to help then they suggest things to you and then they try to take your controller but when you dont allow it they just add themselves in and take control of the game. It's rude and extremely annoying!!

My brother is one of these people, and my parents won't correct him on his behavior because he is autistic and it's his way of venting.

Vent on your own time!!!!!

I need a way to cool down too you know! Just because I'm cool and collect in front of the general public does not mean I don't get angered or frustrated like everyone else.

That's exactly why I have all of my books in my room, the old Nintendo systems, a Wii, a stereo, a computer, board games; anything I need to stay isolated, minus food (usually).

Vent. Rant. Relax. Do whatever you have to but leave me be. I can and want to do things my own way. Stop screwing with the system!

Teen Relationships & Sex

It seems that most everywhere you look there are couples; some sweet old couples, others the grossly energetic young couples. Doesn't it ever seem like it's too much?

And then there's when a friend get's into a relationship, they completely blow you off! It's sad, even when they are hanging with you they are messaging their significant other; I hate it with a passion. I vowed to myself the day I finally was asked out that I would not put him above the rest of my social life, and I still hold that; but not everyone has that standard.

You shouldn't build your life around a single person, what happens when they leave? You're screwed that what's.

Then there's the sex. Don't get addicted. A friend of mine declares that they have found their soul mate so they have been keeping track of everything they do..... She told me today that it has been about four months and they have already done it over a hundred times; that's a bit ridiculous. I have been in a single relationship, it lasted six months, we never even joked around about doing it, the only reason we broke up is because i didn't want to have a long distance relationship with him while he went to college; I wanted him to be able to have the full blown experience like I hope to.

Another thing..... Why is it that every year it's starting earlier and earlier?!?! There are third graders at my baby brother's school that dress like sluts and make out in front before they go into class! It's ridiculous!!!!!!

Maybe I'm just jealous of them all that I'm not doing all that crap but \I could also be telling the truth that nobody wants to admit.

Communication in the Technology Era

Have you ever played whisper down the lane? You say something really rude that you want everyone to laugh at but by the time it gets down to the very end its a completely different message, right? Doesn't life ever feel like that? Especially in this new technological era.
Jokes are taken the wrong way and you're punished.
Rumors spread like wildfire. They may not even start like that. Shouldn't we go to the source and figure out the facts?
Everything is getting so jumbled and confusing anymore. Whatever happened to talking face to face or writing actual letters. Now people text each other from across a lunch table and send email.

I long for those days when you actually spent hours hanging with people and TALKED. Or anticipating getting a letter from a friend/relative in the mail. Those were the days of understanding and innocence. Is anybody else with me or am I just crazy?

Take some time away from electronics and do stuff the old fashioned way for a while. Maybe you'll keep some mailmen in a job and actually understand what's going on in your surrounding.

The Idiocy of family Arguments

It doesn't matter who you are, how you're raised, or where you're from; everyone has those arguments that never make any sense. By that, I mean those times when there is no real origin of it, it just kinda happened; and better yet, there's no explanation to it. These constantly happen in my house, especially with all the stress going on. Topic choices range from what show is best, to what what to have for dinner, to what our money goes toward. And depending on our state of mind, the logic put into the conversation differentiates tremendously. But none the less, they are apart of being alive.

Can you imagine what cavemen fought about?
"We are going to have buffalo for dinner and you're going to like it!"
"But we had buffalo two moons ago! I want to have gazelle!"
If that doesn't make your day I don't know what to tell you.

On a more harsh note, these so called idiotic arguments can be what causes families to separate. Some people just take certain topics too seriously to be able to joke around sometimes. So beware what you bring up.
My father for instance is currently frustrated with the fact that we can barely survive because we were without any income what so ever for nearly half a year. Now whenever something comes up that requires money, a war breaks out. I can't imagine what it's going to be like when I want to go to college in the fall of 2016. It's going to be very hard and possibly traumatic.

No matter the arguments, you should always take in the sincerity and seriousness of the discussion; some things could be deadly true. But then again you also shouldn't take some things to heart; like a pissed boyfriend or husband pointing out flaws, try getting to the root of the issue and help them cheer up. You'd want them to do the same, wouldn't you? Or maybe you'd rather break up because they got frustrated with a coworker. It's your choice.

Happy Easter Everyone!!

As time goes on all holidays loose track of their purpose. Halloween for example was original like the day of the dead for the Spanish, all those who passed away could visit the world of the living for one day; not all the spirits were good however which started the need to scare them away. Thanksgiving was meant to be a day of literal thanks because the Indians had supplied ways of surviving that the settlers were not familiar with; it has since become a day to veg and over indulge in food. Christmas was meant to symbolize a day for Christians to recruit new followers and celebrate the birth of their future savior; it has since become a day of spending endless amounts of money. Valentine's day has had multiple purposes, originally a roman day of fertility and then a Christian saint who secretly wed couples because soldiers weren't allowed to; now it's a hallmark holiday full of romance (I won't stress my true opinion but if you wish watch Foamy the Squirrels rant on YouTube, he about sums it up). St. Patrick's day was meant to celebrate the removal of the "snakes" from Ireland; now it's a day drinking and wearing green.
Holidays have come a long way since they were first created. I hope you enjoy your day of excessive eating and pointless egg searching while the meanings behind what we do slowly disappear into oblivion forever.
And may Christ never have to be reincarnated again to experience what this celebratory day has become.

Appearances in Today's Society

In today's society we are pressured to be a certain way, and not just with behavior but also with looks and so many other categories. Our top priorities however seem to revolve around appearing "pleasing to the eye". What is with this?! As long as you are okay with the way you look you're fine! All of the pressure laid on kids by celebrities is getting to be a bit ridiculous. I for one have been led by the kids in my school and my doctors, to believe that I'm too chubby and too tall to ever look decent enough to just do tasks that seem natural. Sure I'm a bit overweight and sure I'm 5'10" but that doesn't mean I should have to conform to make everyone around me happy. It's making me feel like crap whenever I look or even think about myself. Because of the descriptions people use toward me I hate wearing skinny jeans, I hate wearing tight shirts, I hate wearing my sneakers, I hate wearing regular bras, I hate my hair, I hate wearing makeup, I hate wearing dresses, and absolutely dread wearing shorts in public. So I pretty much hate everything about me! All because society has to push having a certain body. I realize they are trying expand their horizons but honestly it's not working and it will not be a thing in my lifetime. Because of society I also feel as if there is nothing in my power to change my appearance and how I feel about myself. Just once I would like to feel loved for my personality and individuality instead of hated for my belly roll or double chin.

Hopes and Desires: Marriage

Standing in line, you can over hear a lot of strange conversations; drug dealing, date nights, sex, parties, engagements. That last ones a bit strange huh? Well there were legit, people arguing over under what circumstances they would get married. One of the girls for instance insists that she will only say yes if the ring is bigger than 2 karat. I've heard of planning out a "perfect" wedding, but seriously? A necessity on the ring?! And her reasoning is that if the guy truly loves her it wouldn't matter to him. Well sweetie, if you truly loved him it wouldn't matter to you! None of it would! If you truly loved each other you wouldn't even care about getting married, you'd just want to spend eternity with him; no extravagant wedding, ring, or honeymoon involved.
The same applies to long distance relationships. Some people complain about the distance but if you truly love each other and want to be together you would forget about the gap in-between you and know that there will be a way for you to be together.
So while yes, I have my own fantasies about my future and how I'd vision my wedding to be; I understand that if you really care, nothing else matters.
Getting married outside in the snow blanketed forest, doesn't matter. Having Termini's make a gorgeous cake for the occasion, doesn't matter. Only having close/true friends and family there, while greatly appreciated; isn't necessary.
All that does matter is that each person is happy living with each other, sometimes it's even better if you don't have the wedding.
Just some food for thought.

Autism Awareness

There's always going to be a controversy to what I say and believe or what others say and believe but there's till going to be a truth to it all.

Every one person out of twenty has autism. One of those people, is my brother, he has aspergers; and so does his best friend. I can't tell you much about the life of my brother from his perspective or the life of his friend, but i can tell you their involvement and impact in my life.

My brother is a mere one and a half years younger than me, so not much is different between. We've both always been very argumentative. We've both always excelled at math. And we both have always enjoyed being whisked away to magical realms through books. There are some differences however. For one, I love to help my dad out with anything and everything. He however prefers to stick by my mothers side, always a bit more picky. But that's how most kids are. We choose our sides, and stick to them.

As we grew up together we didn't see anything extremely different about one another, nothing out of the ordinary at least. But that's to be expected isn't it? Autistic kids are just like everyone else, or they seem to be from the outside. They do however, take things a little differently mentally.

Everyone gets bullied at some point and for us it was most days. I've gotten used to it and just repress the feelings but it's a little harder for my brother. One day he just couldn't take it anymore. He took the threats toward him a bit too seriously and cracked. He jokingly agreed that he had the resources and would do as they wished. He would go kill himself. This caused him to be unwillingly taken away from my family for a week before my dad was fed up and required they give him back; seeing as we couldn't pay their bill anyway.

During his time away from my family my brother was officially diagnosed. Although everyone tries convincing you that being diagnosed makes you no different, everyone tries to take advantage of it, even the diagnosed. Even if you are told not to treat them any different than a regular friend they get some form of special treatment. Such as extensive video game time or the ability to eat as much as you want whenever you want.

It gets ridiculous.

Now my brother sees two therapeutic psychologists at our house each week and has a "ghost" follow him at school.

Never the less, autism can be a very serious problem and there is no permanent solution. You can be drugged like my brother's friend but then you're like  a zombie.

Be careful what you say and do to people, it could be their last straw.

The Case of the Sudsy Stream

I slowly walk down the edge of the stream looking for any clues that the criminal may have left behind; footprints, residue, anything that seemed out of the ordinary. Like any good detective called to the scene of a crime I questioned any and all witnesses. I had to make sure I had everything straight before I could make any assumptions. This is what I found out.

Jack woke up at 6 o’clock every Sunday morning to go fishing at Clear Creek but when he showed up at 7 o’clock this morning there was a massive amount of suds occupying the water. It seems as if the suds have diminished some what since Jack first discovered them, they only spread out for 20 feet in either direction and are only about a foot high. The closest buildings are the detergent factory three miles down stream and the new art studio a mile up hill. The buildings are not quite close enough to have caught anything on tape so I’m going to have to solve this case the old fashioned way.

First thing I need to do is state what my problem is. And today my problem is who and what caused the bubbles in Clear Creek. Now that I have my goal in mind I can take time to thoroughly exam the crime scene. I slip on my gloves so that I don’t risk contaminating anything and grab my Kodak camera to take pictures with. I walk the perimeter of the stream looking for prints in the dirt, being careful of where I step. On the east side of the stream there was a short trail, as if something had been dragged. *Click* My camera takes a photo of the trail. Being slightly inexperienced I can’t be positive but the print looks as if it was made by something roughly 107 lbs in weight. I follow the trail but it only last for about 10 feet and then it stops, maybe the object was carried but then the carrier became tired and dragged it the rest of the way. Thinking this was a dead end that I could come back to if necessary, I turned to walk away but something caught the corner of my eye. Stuck on a tree limb was a small piece of cloth. *Click* Another photo for the file. Carefully I removed the cloth and examined it, it seemed to be a piece of tarp but there was something waxy on it, the evidence was placed in a plastic bag to be further examined later.

It is starting to get dark by the time I return to the stream. After finding the tarp I stopped at Mike’s hoagie shop to grab lunch then I headed to my home lab to test the waxy residue left on the cloth. The residue was from a bar of soap, not the fancy stuff you use in the shower but the kind you would normally carve things out of. I couldn’t be sure that the person would come back and do the same thing tonight but I wasn’t going to give up a chance to have a stake out. With a video camera hidden in a bush, I climbed up into a sturdy tree and patiently waited for something to happen. Sadly have been staying up the night before playing video games it wasn’t long before I fell asleep. The next morning when I woke the bubbles were there again, sitting on the water as if someone had just taken a very large bubble bath. I climbed down from the tree, my butt aching, and walked to where I had placed the video camera. As I watched the recording all seemed quiet until 6:34 am when a mysterious figure approached the stream and dumped something into the water. If you looked very carefully as the figure dumped the contents something bounced out and landed in some brush.

Slowly I walk over to the brush and I hear some rustling, a squirrel jumps out with white around its mouth. Instinctively I jump back thinking it has rabies but after I get a closer look I realize it is more soap residue. Perhaps the squirrel was eating some and thought it was an acorn or some other type of nut. Just as I’m pulling my arm out of the brush, holding the soap, the deputy walks up behind me. I spin around and nearly whack him in the face.

“What are you doing!? You are supposed to be solving this case not poking in some overgrown weeds,” the deputy spurts out in anger.

Waving the block of soap in the deputy’s face I tell him that I am solving the case. He snatches the object from my hands and questions why I haven’t turned anybody into the custody of the town then. I thoroughly explain what I think is happening to the deputy.

I believe that a sculptor from the new art studio has been practicing on some soap blocks. But all of the ruined ones eventually pile up and need to be moved. Not having any where to stick the soap blocks the sculptor carries them down to the stream and dumps them. Walking up to the art studio I think of what I’m going to do once I find the culprit. Entering the art studio is like entering a college for the first time, there were at least 100 students speeding through the halls. Among those students one seemed to stand out to me, she was an average 19 year old but that wasn’t what I cared about, I was more concerned with the supplies she was holding. With a dozen or so soap blocks in her arms I was almost positive this was the person I was after.

I followed her and when she finally walked into a room I shut the door behind me. I needed to ask her some questions without being disturbed. She was very startled when she first noticed me but she answered my questions with no hesitation. She admitted to dumping the soap blocks into Clear Creek but that they weren’t her creations. Just then an older man, around 26, came into the room and was about to make a run for it when I blocked his path.

I walked both of the criminals back to Clear Creek where the sheriff and deputy were waiting. Our small town isn’t big on cruel punishments so the culprits were given two weeks of community service each. After finishing up my report I handed it into the sheriff. My first real case solved and who knows maybe this could be the start of my own detective agency.

Urban Legends: Fraternities and Being Yourself

Nudity.

Drugs.

Alcohol.

Late nights alone in the woods.

Initiations are hazards, but they are a tradition; one that every high school student dreams of partaking in. I was no exception. My name is Alex, and this is the story of how my life ended.

I don’t truly believe it ever began, my life that is. The foster home was the only one I knew, and it was what always set me apart from the group. Sure I could blend into the crowd of nerds or even get away with hanging with the alternatives, but having just that single difference made me permanently different.

I had hoped that my high school graduation would make everything better, it would be my tabula rasa. Nobody would have to know I was an orphan and I could be a whole new person. I attended Carroll College in Helena Montana, it was about as far as I could get from Delaware. Popularity isn’t spontaneous however, and I had to work for my fame.

I stayed in an apartment right off campus, that helped a little. My intense knowledge of the world, did not. It wasn’t until our hectic college freshman lives calmed down towards the second semester that we all started to form cliques. Sororities and Fraternities of all kinds came out of the woodworks and began to recruit new victims. As much as I wished for it, I knew I wasn’t going to be one of the chosen. That’s why it shocked me when I found a black envelope with a deep red wax seal on the back, stuck in-between the pages of my textbook.

As children we hear LOTS of stories of what happens when you join a house on campus. Sometimes you are forced to run around butt naked while the other members record it. Other times, you’re influenced by roofies that leave you vulnerable for all types of violations. One of the deadliest rituals is that of survival; you are dropped off in the middle of an unknown terrain with a potato sac over your head and must find your way through the dark while others are playing tricks on you.

Roar Omega Roar, the house I was to be pledged into, was one of the largest and most popular of them all. The thoughts of what awaited me as an initiation, clouded my mind and my grades began to slip.

Two weeks later, I was standing on a corner ten blocks away from the campus. Alone under a dim street light, I awaited my pickup.

A sleek black truck pulled up beside me with no license plate to be found. A cloaked figure helped me up into the bed and sat me down before tying a handkerchief around my eyes. It was a long car ride, although they were probably just trying to confuse me; first a left, then another, a right, and a left. I was repeatedly offered a drink during the ride; the minute I accepted, the ride came to a halt.

A small drop from the tailgate to the ground and then twenty paces  along the tar pit road to the right. I removed my blindfold and revealed an unusual scene. Everyone was grouped around a conflagration. Why had I needed to be blinded? I wasn’t staying put, that’s why. I followed a trail of twinkling lights through the woods for at least a mile before being given any directions.

Using only what I was born with, I was to find my way back to the campus; that implied that we were in the surrounding woods because I would not be returning to town before hand.

Thunder rumbled overhead and it began to pour but I continued anyway. As I walked my surroundings grew darker and darker vanishing before my eyes. Only the occasional glow of beady eyes let me know that I wasn’t completely unaccompanied.  I felt around and I couldn’t even find a tree to lean on at some point. I was officially alone, and I was in an endless darkness. Struggling to find courage I continued on into the endless black hole. Eventually I started to hear noises again. Soon a faint glow rose on the horizon.

It wasn’t the sun, that’s for sure; I wasn’t nearly fatigued enough for the whole night to have gone by already. Hoping that it was a sign that the end was near I ran towards it. Gargoyles and menacing angel statues greeted me at the brink of the darkness. The back door to Roar Omega Roar presented itself to me. Obnoxious music blared from inside the walls. Upon entrée however, I was greeted with nothing. Nobody filled the kitchen nor did anybody fill the adjacent halls; even now, I was alone.

A squeal reverberated from the front of the house. Eager to end this treachery I bolted through the doorway.

Animals.

Ginormous animals.

That’s what had created the sound.

Cautiously I wandered through the crowd, passing pigs three feet high and eagles that nearly touched the roof. Following a basilisk that glided through the halls like a river, I came across a grand staircase. While ascending this staircase a swarm of flying monkeys engulfed me. Staggering on the edge of the rail, I inched my way to the top.

The clamoring of noise behind me faded as I walked down the ancient hall. Doors lined the sides and as you got further down, it seemed as if you were traveling back in time. Bright florescent lights slowly changed to candles hanging on the walls, the carpeted floor gave way to wood boards, painted doors changed to chipped oak planks.

I peeked into every room I walked past; there was an infinite amount of horrendous mysteries in store for me.

The first room had walls completely covered in spiders, not an inch was bare. The second room was similar to that of a circus tent, clowns entertained each other with new tricks. A third room spilled water as I creaked the door open a smidge. On and on my fears came to life, becoming more and more intensely bizarre. At one point I swore the room contained nothing but a rickety old wooden bridge that led to another door. In yet a different room, blood oozed down the interior with no logical explanation to it. Vampire’s controlled the next room; possibly they were the cause of the bloody walls. That’s when everything took a turn for the worse; My Little Ponies had bedazzled the final room.

Everywhere you turned there was another one. They mesmerized me with their innocence and magical allure.  Slowly I began to lose all sense of time. Eventually I managed to crawl out of the lair and tumble down the staircase. But by that point it was too late for me.

All the animals surrounded me, even the gargoyles seemed to have risen for the occasion. This was it; they were going to destroy me in a cruel and unusual manner. Maybe that’s what they had done to the members of Roar Omega Roar. I was just the last puzzle piece. Left to be demolished by an animalistic society.

As the lights faded from my vision and the animals floated farther and farther away I regained a small glimpse of reality.

The true identities of all the dangers I faced, revealed themselves. They weren’t animals at all, but instead my peers that had already passed their initiation rituals.

My name is Alex, and my demise was my own doing; I beg that you heed my advice and just be yourself. There’s no need to be like everybody else because you aren’t like everybody else. We struggle through our own lives and nobody can understand what it is we go through. Even you don’t understand what you are capable of accomplishing or not.