Marvel Movie Reviews w/ Rambo - Hulk (2003)

 

There's just something about late 90s and early 2000s cinema that hits different. I don't know if maybe it's just a feeling of nostalgia, but movies like 'Honey, I Shrunk the Kids', 'Baby Geniuses', 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory', and so many others; their opening credits are just top tier to me. Their instrumental music interludes, the imagery helping to paint a picture of what is to come in the movie, and honestly, even just the more mellow tone the coloration takes; it is still an action-packed movie that takes hold of your attention, but in a different and, to me, better way.

!!! SPOILERS BELOW !!!

• It's very sad to think that this hippie-looking person of a father figure, would dare experiment on his own baby. His only baby. Like, sir, don't you want a normal, healthy offspring first?
• I thought Bruce got his powers from his girlfriend's father doing experiments? Maybe that is a different rendition, or maybe it's just that the father helps finalize those experiments, and I haven't gotten far enough into the movie yet to fully remember it.
• Holy time skip. From toddler to college student. Is that even still his mom, or is it a step/foster mom?
• Can you imagine if he had Hulked out as a toddler? He would be like Jack-Jack from The Incredibles when he turns into that little red demon thing.
• Is Bruce working on an experiment related to the one that was done on him, or does it just unfortunately end up triggering his own inner biology experiment to initiate? 
• I'm gonna be honest, I don't actually remember this bit of the movie where he is experimenting on frogs...
• Why doesn't he question the dog in the lab?
• Have I ever mentioned how much I hate businessmen and how they think they can just take whatever they want and try to make money off it? If a scientist wants to do something for the greater good rather than for profit, they should be able to do so.
• Why in the world would you jump in front of something that is going to kill somebody else? Like them, impulses to be a hero were strong in him.
• Shouldn't their lab be closed down after a near-miss accident like that?
• The door opening to let the Hulk into the mind of Bruce is a very nice symbolic touch to his dream.
• Who is this crazy old man? Is it his bio dad?
• Yes, it is, duh.
• Only 30 years of jail time for conducting illegal experiments on a toddler? Crazy.
• Dude, the phone only rang once; doesn't that kind of imply he picked the phone up enough that whoever is on the other end would hear the conversation?
• ...Is his dad there as a scientist or a janitor? Because I figured he was a janitor of some sort, but he's conducting experiments using the gamma rays on the rats...
• The military dad knows about Bruce's real identity and his birth parents.
• So was it just all too much for him, and that is what made him hulk out? Obviously, the recent increase of gamma radiation in his body has had an effect, too, but what angered him? The stuff his father said?
• Is the father proud of himself for doing this to his son? Does he regret doing experiments on him as a child?
• Is his dad hitting on the girlfriend while she is trying to figure out how she can help the situation at hand?
• "How could anyone forget a thing like that!" #ChildhoodTrauma
• Y'know, my dad has made threats to my boyfriends before about treating me right, but it's different coming from a military father who could actually abuse his power and say anything to put you away in jail if you go near his daughter. Also, that is generally unacceptable; nobody should threaten anyone else, regardless of whether they are joking.
• Why tf does he need to send the dogs to KO Betty? What did she do?
• So why does anger trigger the Hulk out? Why not excitement?
• Also, why were there already people with weapons sitting outside Bruce's place, ready to attack him?
• Why does Bruce turn into a big, green version of himself, while the dogs just get glowing green eyes and look more muscular?
• Maybe let's not smash the dogs into the car containing the girl you love... There are other things, like oh, I don't know, THE GROUND.
• I don't know if calling her dad was the best idea, but I mean, you get help however you can.
• It's crazy how much a town deteriorates without actually having human input.
• Was it really necessary to break down the door of an already abandoned building? Couldn't they have just opened it up?
• Also, we are so concerned with Bruce and keeping him contained that we are no longer looking for his father, who is literally out there trying to recreate his son within himself!
• It is really weird that they literally grew up in the same military town and then drifted apart but somehow ended up being in the same lab and falling in love anyway.
• Blondie douche is annoying. Why do you need to take over the experiment? Oh, duh, money. I hate him.
• How was the baby a monster from birth? I thought he was pumping the toxins into him and making him into an experiment? Oh, was he conducting the experiment on himself and passed on the genetics through his sperm, and the toxins he was injecting were actually just him trying to cure Bruce?
• Doesn't Blondie realize that by turning Bruce into the big green monster, he is now not able to be shot without it hurting him? AND THEN, he goes and tries to shoot an explosive at the Hulk, thinking that is going to do anything? He really is dumb.
• The comic book panel transition was kind of cool.
• Angry man? That is what the government is calling him? Wild.
• What desert were they keeping him in? I assumed it was still American soil... But the music they are using is very much 'Mummy' or Egyptian vibes if that makes sense.
• He's just out here enjoying the peace of the desert and the natural beauty it has to offer, and y'all wanna come in with the military and ruin that for him! You are the problem, not the solution!
• Man, I thought he was gonna throw the missile like it was a dart, but it started tumbling over itself, which isn't very helpful.
• What explanation are y'all planning on giving the media and the general population?
• Those people falling out of the trolley are so over exaggerating.
• Did we let the police know what's going on, or are they going to make the situation worse?
• Bruce's dad electrocuting himself is crazy.
• Does his dad really think he can handle all that power that is contained within Bruce? It clearly doesn't work, seeing as how the Hulk still exists after this movie.
• "Bruce couldn't survive that blast," sure, sure. Whatever you say, military man.
• How exactly did he get to the jungle?
• The comic book credits are a nice touch, wish they still made credits fun like that.