Personal Health over Job Status

I don't know what it is with the work ethic culture in America but it seems like you end up with one of two kinds of people; those who understand and recognize that your mental and physical health is important and that if you are feeling unwell in any capacity you should take the time off of work to heal, and those who are stuck in the ways that your job status comes first and if you have a meeting or such planned that you are not allowed to take off for the day even if you end up going to the ER for your condition.

Especially knowing that everyone has different tolerance levels and different immune systems, different mentalities, different anything; you should be willing and able to acknowledge that everyone needs to take care of themselves differently for a similar ailment. You can make your own choices on if you feel up to coming to work but never judge somebody else for deciding they need to take off. It is not your place to make that call for them and it is not your place to judge them for doing so.

I am sure you would want the same respect and privacy as them so let them be and if you really want to be nice, ask what you can do to help them; be it making them a bowl of soup or picking up one of their cases for them so that they can have one less thing on their plate.

Why is it so hot?

Now I know this is going to be different for everyone as we are all from different regions and different climates but, why is it so hot?

I am from the Northeast United States. Normally this time of year we are still just getting into Spring weather, probably in the mid to high 50s (Fahrenheit), a nice breeze passing through to help blow the pollen around from the new light flowers sprouting up out of the ground. So why did it get into the 90s today?!? Why is tomorrow going to be just the same? The flowers haven't even fully popped out of the ground! There are still barren trees that have yet to show signs of green foliage to fill the spaces between the dull brown branches. So why do I feel the urge to turn on my air conditioner?

I understand and recognize that global warming is a thing. I know that the temperature all around the world is increasing. I know that the water level is rising as we melt the ice caps. But for real! That is a 40-degree difference between the average temperature this time of year and what it actually was. 

If I wanted to live in the heat I would go live out in California or Florida where I could be going to Disney more often!

...

I didn't turn on the AC by the way, it's far too early in the season to be spending that extra money on air conditioning. But the thought occurred to me at least once.

Social Gatherings

When is it feasible to leave a social gathering?

When should you show up for a social event?

I suppose it is different for each scenario. Going out with coworkers to grab dinner is different from going to an amusement park with friends or going to a birthday party for your cousin as well as from going to a frat party on your college campus.

But what is the norm?

If a formal gathering is set from 6 - 10 PM are you obligated to be there for the entirety of the event? Should you show up at the exact time it starts? Should you be there earlier? Should you wait until dinner is actually served? Can you leave once all the speeches are over and dessert has been served? Should you stay until the social hours are over and struggle to get out with everyone else?

Is it different if you have a social battery that is drained? Do you force yourself to push through and stay or do you listen to your gut and just leave? 

Does it depend on who the event is for? Can you leave if you explain to them what is going on? What if they just know and understand? What if the other guests judge you for it? What if you aren't even chill with the other people at the event and you're really only there for the host?

Should any of this even matter? It is your life. Be respectful of others of course but only do what you are comfortable with.

The Grace of Passing

That overwhelming relief when you found out you passed.

You knew you would but to finally hear it is something else.

You spent all that time studying.

You spent all that time idle after turning it in.

You started to second guess.

You started to wonder if you actually put down the answer you did.

You turned it in with such confidence, what if it was wrongfully had?

It wasn't.

You did it.

You passed.

You can breathe now.

At least, until the next test comes around.

The Path You've Chosen

Depending on who I am hanging out with and talking to, I get asked this question for different reasons; "why did you choose the career you did then?"

When I am at work and I am discussing my hobbies like gaming and being a streamer or crafting and making things with my hands, I get asked why I chose Forensic Science because they see a passion for something completely unrelated to what I am actually doing. And I can see where they are coming from with this question but they do not realize just how much more I would have to do with my passions and hobbies in order to make a career out of them.

When I am off hanging with people at the mall or playing games with them online casually, they ask about my career and they wonder how somebody who seems so bubbly and easy to get along with can have such an intense fascination with something so dark as death.

What neither of these scenarios explains is that every person is incredibly complex and what you see is only a fraction of the facade that I display to cover up my true desires and my true feelings.

There are so many parts of me that play a role in why I do certain things and why I choose to take the path I do. Not to mention there are so many more things that play into these other sides that you do not fully understand to see why I did not choose the other way around.

Deadlines

I hate when you lose track of time and you start to have deadlines approaching causing you to stress over getting things done. Although, I guess being able to see that the deadline is approaching is better than letting it completely fade away past you and never getting it done. Sometimes, I don't realize just how easy it is to lose track of time.

As a kid, you do not have to keep track of time or days or anything of that nature. Your parents keep track of it for you. And then, you slowly start to get older, you start to have more responsibilities. you start to have to keep track of those things. But it isn't hard. Not then anyway. You keep track of what day of the week it is because you have school. You keep track of when summer vacation is because you get to have off. But you lose track a little bit when on vacation because you do not have a purpose and you get to just run around all silly.

As a young adult, you start to have more things to remember. You have to remember anniversaries. You have to remember holidays and birthdays. You have to remember when you get paid and when your bills are due. You need to remember when there are new merch launches or when you need to finish submitting things.

When do you stop needing to remember?

You realistically should not need to stop remembering until you are well into retirement and can have others remember when you need to eat and take your medicine. But there are a lot of days in between that you may need to try and schedule things and a lot of those days are just going to start blending into one long never-ending day.

We need to try and find ways to break up the days. Routine is great and all but not when you are a zombie doing the same thing for the majority of your life.

Give yourself purpose. I think that is what is best.

I need to find more purpose.

The Waiting Game

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

The seconds progress,

The minutes drag on,

The hours stand still.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

The mouse glides effortlessly,

The keys type away rapidly,

The files load like a snail.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

You have plans,

The world keeps spinning,

But nothing is getting done.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

Why can you feel so ready,

Why can you feel so prepared,

And everything else is not?

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

You want to move forward,

You want to make progress,

But the constraints of time prohibit it.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

You Can Influence Yourself

 Do you ever start to feel a certain way and then that feeling just gets more intense as time goes on? Like when you hype yourself up for a big task, and you start to get nervous and the nerves turn into cramps and the cramps turn into doubts. Or when you are super excited for a field trip and at first you were just excited but then you start getting jittery and then you have ants in your pants and can't sit still for a single second. How about when you have built up gas and don't want to let it out so you start to stress about holding it in and then you get a stomach ache and your tummy is grumbling and you start to feel nauseous? 
You are causing it.

It is almost all in your head. Just like when you have to go to the bathroom but there is not a restroom nearby to relieve yourself; others will tell you not to think about it or it will get worse, and they are right. The more you think about something and try to hold it in, the harder it is going to get to contain it. Eventually, the emotions are going to fester so much that it just boils over the edge and you end up drained emotionally and sometimes physically.

You need to take better care of yourself. Don't keep things strapped in when it could be as simple as talking to somebody, moving up the time you do something, or excusing yourself to relieve yourself.

You and your health are important and you are only making it worse on yourself most times.

Palindrome Week!

 Palindrome (n) a word, phrase, or sequence that reads the same backward as forward

Mom/Pop
Ma'am
Level
Radar
Refer
Kayak
Race Car
Nurses Run
Was it a car or a cat I saw?

These are all prime examples of palindromes.

But numbers can be palindromes too!

4/20/2024

That is a really long and precise date palindrome.

4/21/24
4/22/24
4/23/24
4/25/24
4/26/24
4/27/24
4/28/24
4/29/24

Those are also all palindromes.

Did you even realize that it is palindrome week?

Did you even remember what a palindrome was?

Will you even remember after you have read this post?

How Much Notice Is Enough Notice

 Are you the type of person who needs to plan things out weeks in advance or are you more of a go with the flow who does things on a whim at the last minute?

I, personally, am a planner. Now this does not mean that I can not just get up and do things last minute, I do that quite often with my games and movies. But when it comes to planning out vacations or videos or costumes; I very much need time to plan these things out; preferably enough time that I can do some planning followed by procrastinating and then finish off with some true time dedication the last week beforehand. I'm sure to some that may sound like I really do not need to be planning things out that far in advance but let's be honest, it's a mentality thing. You need time to mentally prepare for what is to come.

Tests for instance, you wouldn't want to be surprised with a pop quiz or be notified of a big exam that you will be taking that afternoon once you walk in the door. You want to have time to come to terms with your possible failure. You want time to be able to study. Time to panic. You need the mental preparation that comes with actual studying.

So how much notice is enough notice?

Will you pick up and travel the world the second you win the lottery or will you need to plan out which countries to visit and which destinations you want to see while you are there?

Disney's Wish (2023)

First and foremost, this movie is not one of my favorites. There were several things that I did like about the movie, one of which being the underlying message it seems to portray and the little hidden Mickey moments that reference the other movies Disney has produced over the years. Some of the things I did not like about this movie included the music as well as the art style. Now, I did not necessarily hate these things in their entirety however it did not fill me with as much joy and contempt as I normally feel toward Disney-branded content. In recent years, Disney has seemed to focus highly on finding ways to connect with their audiences, and I usually find ways to relate to the films; in this newer release, I do still manage to find a way to connect to the characters in the sense of the underlying message, however, it does not pull at nearly as many heartstrings nor does it really draw me into the movie and have me wanting to watch it again. Additionally, the songs are not catchy and have me singing along as I go about my day after watching. The artistry style tries hard to mimic the classic 2D animations of classics such as the Hunchback of Notre Dame and Pinocchio while also trying to blend in the modern 3D animations we have seen in many of the more recent animation releases including Frozen and Moana. The blend between these two styles did not sit well with me originally and is still a little off-putting even as I wrapped up the film, but you do begin to ignore the inconsistency between the two styles as you start to really dive into the meat of the movie halfway through. The main thing I appreciated within the story was of course the references to other films and the hidden Mickey moments you could find in the animations. However, I also enjoyed the overlying theme that you can not leave your wish in the hands of anyone but yourself. You need to achieve your dreams and send hope into the world through your own actions.

*** CAUTION - POSSIBLE SPOILERS BELOW IF YOU HAVE NOT WATCHED ***

However, I also enjoyed the overlying theme that you can not leave your wish in the hands of anyone but yourself. You need to achieve your dreams and send hope into the world through your own actions.

In Disney's Wish, you get a glimpse into what Walt was trying to do when he founded his company and made so many beloved characters such as Mickey and Minnie or Cinderella, Tiana, Mirabel, and so many others. You see that Walt had a dream, a wish if you will. To inspire the next generation through his creations. Just as Asha's grandfather wished to do. You find this underlying connection when you catch wind of the final tune he plays during the credit scenes. You also find many different references to all of the hopes and dreams that Walt had portrayed in the many MANY films his company produced. Referenced to finding true love such as in many classic princess movies, wanting to fly away to a Neverland such as Peter Pan, or wanting to have a utopian society for animals that wear people clothes such as in Zootopia. 

Also, it is interesting to think how rather than being another Princess in our line up of Disney characters, the moment of Asha being granted a magic wand and having the suggestion made by villagers, could Segway into Asha being the Fairy Godmother we come to know through the Cinderella movies. I am sure they would not make her directly that Fairy Godmother but it draws a lot of similarities nonetheless. 

 

Not Enough Hours in the Day

 Why is it that it never feels like there are enough hours in the day?

Why does it seem like I have to choose between things I want to do and love to do or the things I have to do and dread doing?

Why can't I be free to just get everything I want to done and just have the things I need to get done in the process? 

I know that seems simple, just multitask and do things you love while you are waiting for other things to be completed like waiting for laundry or the dishwasher or the oven and playing video games in the meantime or reading a book.

But it isn't always that simple now is it? Like there are some things that you can't multitask with. Having to go shopping for groceries for instance. Sure I could cop-out and do Instacart or uber delivery but then I am paying more for it. Although I guess I am paying for having my time back and my freedom to do other things huh?

Why do I have to choose?

Why can't I just pause time and be able to get more things done?

Bracing the Elements

"Neither snow, nor rain, nor heat, nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds." - The Post Man Creed via NY Postal Service

Do you ever find that how you feel about the weather is not how others feel about them? Do you over-prepare for changing conditions such as excessive cold, or extreme winds, or torrential downpours while others just walk out in whatever they have on and embrace it? 

Do you ever stop to think maybe it really isn't that bad and that you're over-exaggerating just a bit?

Sometimes people have differing opinions on what is appropriate attire for certain conditions. One reason for this may be because they grew up in a different region and experienced weather differently. They may be used to hotter temperatures and thus bundle up more when in a cold climate; or maybe they are used to the cold and the strong winds so when they go to a slightly different, sunnier region, they wear as little clothing as possible. This is a valid reason to have differing opinions on weather. Others feel as though circumstances like messing up their new hairdo is reason to fuss over the conditions. Or maybe they do not want to get their clothes wet. And yes, you are all entitled to your opinions and can feel however you want to feel, so for you, maybe those points are also valid.

But here is the thing people. You can get your hair done again (yes, I know that you probably paid a lot of money for it to be done but that is on you wasting your money that way). Your clothes can and will dry out. You know what isn't going to happen? Any jobs that you are supposed to be completed but aren't because you are letting the weather stop you! 

Countless professions must embrace the elements whether they are prepared for it or not. Mailmen. Police officers. Firefighters. Paramedics. Military personnel. Amazon drivers. Uber eats drivers. You expect these people to be as prepared as you in ever given moment? Weather conditions can change in an instant with the right series of events. So maybe the next time you complain about a sudden downpour, realize it isn't the end of the world and just keep doing what you are because there are more important things in this world.

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

Five-Leaf Clover

 

Do you know where the belief that a four-leaf clover brings good luck began? I don't. I do know that genetically, they are bred to have 3 but they can occasionally they can have four, and in exceptionally rare cases like today, you may find one that has five. I would think four would be the natural though since it's more symmetrical that way and we all know how nature loves symmetry. 

According to Google, the legend of good luck originated with the Druids or Celtic Priests. They believed that when carrying a three-leaf clover they could see the evil spirits that roam the world and have time to escape them. They then spun off of that and concluded that with a four-leaf clover, they could make a special charm to wear around and that it would ward off the evil spirits and bad luck around them rather than just see them and try to escape. 

Outdated Technology

Something I think people fail to realize is that everything has an expiration date and a best-by date, not just food. Now, I do not necessarily agree with the notion that the second a best-by date or expiration date has come that the item is bad and needs to be tossed, I do however agree that depending on the circumstance you may have to consider getting a new item to utilize. 

For foods, it is very clear that if an item is past its bet-by date, you could possibly get sick from eating it. For makeup products that have been opened and used for longer than the recommended period of time, there could be bacteria that you are embedding into your pores. For items that are sealed and deemed sterile, the seal could be deteriorating and bacteria could be forming or the container could be contaminating the item. 

Car parts get exposed to the elements and begin to rust and deteriorate. Batteries get charged and uncharged repeatedly and consequently hold less and less of a charge. Screens replay information on them until their pixels burn out. Clothes hold and cover things until the threads wear thin.

Everything has a lifespan.

And this doesn't even begin to touch base on how technology moves at a rapid pace and outdates itself before it can even become worn down. You end up needing to replace items not just because you consistently use them and wear them out but because they can no longer be updated through patches and you need to get a newer system that can handle the new internal schematics being sent out.

What Constitutes A Healthy Breakfast?

One of the things I tend to struggle with is making sure I get a balanced intake of all the food groups. Now this is not to say that I eat a horrible diet and that I am morbidly obese and can never manage to get up and move, rather it is just that sometimes there are healthier options that I could be taking into consideration and am not.

Today for instance, I had a strawberry poptart. This was neither technically filling nor healthy. I could have made an egg for breakfast and had a banana with a glass of milk. Gotten in my first dose of protein and some fruits and my dairy. 

But I didn't. And that is on me.

But my dietary choices don't end there. There are many points throughout the day that I could be choosing to be healthy, and generally speaking, the choices made are not the best.

If we look at the cause of this though, it goes back to my shopping habits and the economical prices of eating healthy. I already try my best to save money by not eating out but when you take into consideration that I can buy a box of mac 'n' cheese for 89 cents and have food for at least 2 meals possibly 3, but a single apple can cost that same amount and will only be a single snack; the choice to be made is simple, get the most bang for my buck. 

I could of course try to balance out what I eat by doing more physical activity but then you run into the issue of having time for such a task, having the means to do it whether by going to a gym or having a safe neighborhood to walk around in. Not to mention the biggest hurdle of needing the motivation and dedication to stick with it. 

And so we end up in the predicament that you currently see me in, questioning my choice to have a poptart for breakfast and trying to figure out what I could be doing better or doing differently.

Solar Eclipse vs Lunar Eclipse

If you happen to live in North America, you probably already know that there is a Solar Eclipse happening today. Most places are not in the path of a total solar eclipse but there are a decent number of states that have been put into the path of totality. If you're lucky enough to be in that path and have the proper protection, definitely go steal a peak for me. 

The chances of you seeing a solar eclipse in the path of totality is not impossible, nor is it rare; a total solar eclipse occurs naturally some place around the Earth approximately every 18 months. Now the chances of not having to travel for the path of totality? That is a lot less likely. Due to the constant rotation of our axes, the total solar eclipse will only naturally fall in the same place approximately every 400 years. There will be plenty of years in between that though that you may see a partial eclipse.

For those who are not sure what a Solar Eclipse is, or what the difference between a Solar and a Lunar Eclipse is; a Solar Eclipse occurs when there is a full Moon and it manages to pass between the Earth and our Sun, a Lunar Eclipse on the other hand occurs when there is a full moon and the Earth comes between the Moon and the Sun. Because of this, Solar Eclipses will only happen during the daytime hours of the region of totality, and a Lunar Eclipse will only occur during the nighttime hours or the region of totality.

Because the Sun is obscured by the moon during a Solar Eclipse, you can see a drastic change in the natural lighting as well as a drop in the temperature during the point of totality. If you were to look up at the sky, which I advise against, you would see a ring of fire or a halo affect around the deep black of the moon. 

A Lunar Eclipse is far easier on the eyes than a Solar Eclipse is. Even during normal circumstances, the Sun is blinding and can negatively impact your vision permanently. During the Solar Eclipse, the intensity can increase due to the areas of darkness and how you perceive light. Because of this, even viewing an Eclipse at totality is advised against without the proper eye-protection. This goes for your phones and cameras as well, you can damage their photo receptors just as much as the ones which naturally occur in your eye.

So be careful out there! Enjoy the festivities and all the fun foods but be safe and stay healthy too!!

Missed Opportunities

“You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.” — Wayne Gretzky.

That quote was originally in reference to Hockey but it has grown to encompass so much more than just that sport. People use this quote for sports still, sure, but they also use it for relationships, they use it for career changes, they use it just about everything.

And it is not inaccurate.

You can not go about your life without trying. If you don't, then you will never make it further than you have already come.

“Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.” ― Babe Ruth

Yet another sports-related quote that can be applied to more than just that. In this case, they were originally discussing baseball, but again it can be applied to all those things I listed previously.

If you are too scared of failure, and you let that fear control what chances you take in life, you will not be able to see any of the things you can accomplish.

You can not learn nor grow without failure.

You need to be able to take that chance, fall a couple times, and get yourself back up again to see yourself succeed.

You could always watch opportunities come and go right in front of your face but then how would you be able to see that light that was shining on the other side as it passed?

What Will It Be Like?

There is a theory that things happen for a reason. That everything you have gone through has served a purpose. That everything you will end up doing is predetermined and you can not change it.

There is also a theory that you can make any choice you want regardless of what you have surpassed previously or what you may face in the future. That there are alternate realms in which you have taken other paths. That you have taken all of the paths which have allowed you to journey through your existence.

But in this particular existence, what will it be like?

I can see what it has been like. I can see the happiness, the sorrow, the passion, the dedication, the grievances, the setbacks, the failures, the torturous times, and the adrenaline-filled times. I can see where you have failed me, where others have failed you, and where I have failed you. I can see where maybe it could have gone better. But I can not see where it is going, at least not completely.

I saw myself going to school even when you did not but we pulled through it.

I saw myself graduating and leaving to get my master's but you did not and we backed down on that.

I saw myself moving and doing big things, you saw me staying and supporting you forever.

I moved, but not nearly as far as I thought.

You seemed content but still, you get sad and you push me away. Or you get upset and clingy and hold onto me too tightly.

You tried to fill the void but you still get upset because you are losing control.

It's scary to lose control, I know. 

You're going to continue to lose control. I'm sorry.

But let's be honest, you haven't really had control for a while.

No longer are you the puppeteer to our little puppet horde.

So what will it be like when the next one leaves?

What will it be like when we all leave?

When you no longer have control. When you no longer have that support. When you are no longer funded by those who provided the entertainment.

Will you be okay? Will she? Will you stay where you are? Will you leave and pretend that you abandoned us instead of the other way around?

Will it get better?

What will it be like?

Will I move up in the world? Will I conquer my dreams? Will I be happy?

Will you finally, sincerely be proud of me?

...

Will we even still talk?

Do You Even Realize?

 Do you realize that you are pushing us away? Do you realize that it is because of your actions that we want out? That we will quite literally go across the country if it meant being away from you?

Do you realize that they are the only reason I ended up staying? Do you realize that its because I want better for them that I continue to push you and struggle with our relationship?

Things could be so much better if you just acknowledged what was wrong without trying to guilt trip us.

Things could be healthier if we could just talk things out like civil human beings instead of dictators or underlings.

I don't blame you. At least not completely. You had your own rough life. But we can not let our pasts dictate our futures. We can not continue the cycle as if it is not hurting both of us. 

I fear for what the rest of our lives bring for one another.

I fear that I am going to have to cut you out of my life and subsequently cut out all of them.

We may argue and bicker and we may stop talking or we may butt heads, but I still love you and I still cherish having our bond. Or at least what happiness I can attest to our bond. 

I wish there was more happiness in that bubble. But I am starting to feel like my little blue sadness person in my head is saddening all the happy bubbles in my head. 

I feel like I am starting to realize how toxic it all has been and how blind I have been to it all.

Part of me wishes I had noticed sooner but there's also part of me that wishes I could have continued to be naive and lived in the happiness I thought I had.