There is a right and a wrong way to go about things in your life. Whether in your workplace, in your home life, in your friend circle, etc. The wrong way is usually the secret way and it is normally going to cause more harm than it is going to help the situation.
You can not decide that something that is going on is wrong and address it with others whether peers or higher-ups, without stirring the pot. You are going to start a rumor mill. You are going to give them more reasons to cause you trouble. You are going to put yourself at risk for ridicule and failure.
When you do decide that something needs to be done, you need to ensure that everyone is on the same page. You need to confirm that all parties are notified, even the ones you do not want to know. Because everyone deserves to know, everyone deserves to be represented. Everyone deserves to have a say. That includes the person who you believe is causing harm. Just because they will not hear you out does not mean you should not also let them be heard.
Be the bigger person. Be the person you wish they were. Give them the same respect you wish they would give you.
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