Welcome back to my excited ramblings. I have thought about more I want to say, and each week there will be a small update, and if I've watched or read something, I will tell you about that too!
So, I have started recording a podcast with two people I hold very dear in my heart, and so far it's going well. I have made characters for myself and one of the other folks involved to make the visuals easier for the viewers/listeners to know who is talking, and while yes, it may not have been completely necessary, it was a fun activity to do because who doesn't love procrastinating one project with the next. (God knows Rambo does lol)
I'm very excited to be working on the podcast, as we have spoken about it as a group of three for a whole year, so I finally said, let's just go for it and start. It may not be normal, but I love to stock up on content just in case something happens, so we have decided as a group to stock up on about 20 episodes just in case we can't record specific days. Illness could get in the way, and people go away for holidays, and any family emergency could happen at any point. So I would rather be overprepared than under if you get me. You could view me as the type to overpack on a holiday, but my last holiday, I actually didn't pack enough socks, so I had to pinch my socks off of my boyfriend at the time.
Which leads us into my actual story-time tale for you. He isn't my boyfriend anymore. I was set to go on yet another big family trip with him when, just a few days before we flew out to America, he went out clubbing and cheated on me with a man. It was also 2 or 3 days before my birthday, so that really hurt me because I knew I was going to spend almost 2 weeks in a foreign country with him and his family. It was too late to back out, and I had paid for my flight and my part of the accommodation. Couldn't lose out on that well-earned money I had spent, y'know?
Regardless, I'm so glad I went because I got to see Florida, and it was a great time. In the back of my mind, I always knew he was going to be reminded of me because his family took so many group pictures, so if he looks back, he will forever be reminded of how he messed it up.
I pictured marrying this man, I truly loved him, and the day I saw the video of him French kissing this other man, it felt like my heart shattered into a million pieces, but I had to pull myself together and not make him aware that I knew what he did while we were in America. Granted, this happened a long time ago, and I'm fully over it at this point. I still think about it from time to time. I wonder if I did the right thing or not. Literally a day before we were meant to fly out, my mum was saying 'you are really brave for going through with this' and 'you don't have to go if you don't want to'. I just kept reminding myself that there was no point wasting the money I had worked so hard to save up for this trip, that I wasn't going to let my emotions get in the way.
There was one night where most people had gone to bed and I was left alone chilling in the hot tub with his dad who confronted me because he knew something was off so I told him what the problem was, I didn't want to tell him but I did because he wouldn't let me leave the conversation until I told him the problem. So I told him and asked him to not say anything because I was still figuring out if I could forgive him because I did love him. I cried, his dad hugged me, and he dropped the conversation, but I guess I was on borrowed time from then on.
My ex couldn't believe I knew the truth, as he found out from his dad the night we got home. So we broke up over the phone, him telling me how sorry he was and that he would never do it again. I vaguely remember the call ended with me saying 'Once a cheater, always a cheater'.
Thank you for reading my rambling. I didn't think the story would be that long, but live and learn, as they say. I am stronger from that experience, but it's not a nice feeling to have.
There was so much more to the story as well, but I don't wish to bore.
Have a great rest of your day and stay hydrated you wonderful beans <3