Productivity is a Mindset

It may be hard to believe, but the act of being productive is all a state of mind. If you have the desire and the drive to be productive, then you will be. Things like weather and timing may play a role in what you are being productive doing but it does not stop you from being productive as a whole. 

Some people stay productive by making lists and locking away all their technology so that they don't get distracted. Others find that having something playing in the background helps them stay productive. However you choose to be productive, it is all in your head on whether you feel like you are being productive or not. 

Sometimes being productive is cleaning the entire house. Sometimes being productive is going shopping and getting all your errands done. Sometimes being productive is starting some new projects like painting furniture. Sometimes being productive is doing all of those things. Other times, being productive is putting your mental health first and just relaxing. 

You may not feel like you are being productive but your brain made the decision on what the priority was and you are being productive in that sense so good job.

Keep it up.

Stay on track.

You got this!

Miscommunications

You would think that after so much time of being alive, that it would be pretty easy to communicate and discuss how you are feeling or what plans you have, but that is clearly never the case. No matter how long you are alive, you will likely never be able to communicate yourself perfectly every time to every person you talk with.

There are going to be plenty of people who interpret your connotations differently. Different people who have different experiences and have come to learn that certain actions mean something different from what you thought you were conveying. Different people who may have said one thing but meant a different. 

It's a shame but it is also the truth. Miscommunications leave behind heartbreak, heartache, hurt feelings, anger, frustration, and a whole lot of wasted time and missed opportunities.

Let me know when we come up with a way to get rid of this.

Thanks.

Prepping Content

Being a content creator is a lot more work than people often think.

Like sure there are some instances of you being able to achieve popularity overnight from a random video gone viral, but that is not always the case. Not to mention, it does not end there when that is the case. You don't just continue to go viral and achieve success from that one video. If you want to continue making something of your name, you must continue to work hard and pump out content. Preferably relevant content, but not always is the content relevant to you that is relevant to others. You often have to put on a facade, you need to embody something you are not. And if you are like me and prefer to try and stay true to your roots and who you are, you can find that climb to be a little bit harder. More of a struggle. Slower on the progress. 

Working for that progress means keeping constantly busy. It means making a schedule and trying your best to stick to it. Making a plan for what gets posted when and where. It can be a lot to do and it can really start to wear you down. That is why I try not to sweat when I miss a day, when I falter a step, when I forget to post something. I don't want this to become a chore for me. I want to continue to have fun and have an escape. Will I still make a plan and try my best to stick to it? Yes. And I will continue to wish I could grow more. But I know that my efforts are enough for me and that I am doing it the way I see fit. 

A Little Bit of Chaos

Just a little reflection on my weekend shenanigans.

Sometimes isolation isn't all it is cracked up to be. Don't get me wrong, sometimes it is nice to be left to get your work done and just do as you wish without worrying about what others are thinking or wish they were doing instead. But there are also the times when you are left by yourself not completely by your own choice but because the others around you do not wish to spend time with you. Sometimes it is hard to tell people you wish they would include you. Sometimes it is hard to tell people you wish you could spend more time with them just goofing off. Sometimes you need somebody else to step in and say let the Chaos Commence!

So that is what we did this weekend, we let the chaos take over. There were still some periods of downtime when we did not bother talking to one another. There were definitely some hiccups of not knowing what to do or what to watch. Not being able to get the camera working properly, the microphone being too quiet. Etc. Etc. That did not stop the Chaos though. The fun times, the laughs, the memories; they happened regardless. And I am grateful for that.

Thank you <3

Is She The Sister You Wish You Had?

I woke up yesterday in a little of a mental frenzy. Been wondering lately why it seems I am always alone now. Why have I failed at being a social butterfly like you were? Did I spend too much time focusing on family? Did I spend too much time trying to take care of you all? Did I spend my time trying to make life easier for you all than it was for me, and fail? 

I know we joked around a lot about you moving in with me when I moved out, we were starting to be inseparable the past few years. Growing closer through similar struggles. But having you move in with me did not make sense. You would be nowhere near your job. You wouldn't have a way to get around while I was at work. You wouldn't be able to soar like you wanted, I know that is no different than staying where you were but at least there you had others to continue to help you in a way that even I would not have been able to provide.

I'm both glad and upset that it was her. I'm glad because it is somebody I know and trust and if it came down to it I know she would not let any harm come to you because she is like a long-lost sister too. But I also know that she has not always been able to care for herself. I know that sometimes she needs help with her own demons. And maybe you can help each other in ways that I can't help either of you. Maybe I am not the right person to have been trying to help her. Maybe I just don't understand any of it.

What I do understand is that it hurts that I no longer get to joke with you. It hurts that I no longer get to bug you and you no longer want to bug me. Maybe that was the problem. Maybe I bugged too much and you didn't want to tell me to stop and that is what drove you away.

Maybe that's what drove everyone away. Maybe it will continue to drive everyone away. Maybe my boyfriend will have to set up all my friend outings from now on like he has already done. Maybe he too will get fed up with me. Maybe he is already fed up with me. Maybe he already regrets it all and will hate me more when I pull him away from what little bit of a support system he has.

Am I the Villain?

Feeling Like A Failure

There has likely been at least one point in your life where you have felt like a failure for one thing or another. You probably have felt like that at more than one point in time to be honest. I know I have. But feeling like a failure does not equate to being a failure. In the end, you can make all the progress in the world and still feel like you are failing at something, it is part of being human.

It is important to remember that you are not your mistakes, that you can live and learn and grow the more you do things in life. 

But also, not everything is in your control. Not everything is your fault. Sometimes life just happens and you need to just keep moving on. You can not control if the store is out of stock of an item. You can not control if there is an accident and traffic is at a standstill. You can not control if people do not want to talk to you and do not want to include you in their activities. What you can control is how you react to these situations. Whether you freak out and panic and cry and scream or if you stay cool and collected and level-headed and look on the bright side.

Today is a new day. Just keep swimming.

Hard Conversations

Some conversations are just really hard to have. They can be difficult because of the sensitivity of the conversation, they can be problematic because they can hurt relationships/friendships, and they can be almost cringey because of their awkward nature. But conversations are good, they need to be had. And if it is going to cause problems, if it is going to let you get on with things regardless of if it is good or bad.

What hard conversations have you had?

Did you ever have to sit down and be scolded for bad grades?

Was "the talk" with your parents hard?

Did you have to have a sit down about going to college and how it was going to be paid for?

What about when you wanted to move out?

Did you introduce your significant other to your family before you were engaged?

What did you do when you leant somebody something and they never gave it back?

Did you have a heart-to-heart with friends because you really felt betrayed by their actions?

Losing Family

Please do not fret, it is not my own family that has been lost, not at the moment anyway.

One of my coworkers lost a family member recently and we decided as a unit to go and support them by attending the viewing. Now, granted, the family member that they lost has lived a long and wonderful life; but, that does not negate the fact that it is still a sorrowful and mournful time for them. Losing somebody, at any stage of life, is still hard.

With a lot of love and compassion from those around them it can be easier to bare. 

All of this is just simply to say, you should never take something for granted and should never assume that you know how somebody feels or what they are going through. 

Remember to embrace every bit of your life and hug those in it for that extra second if it doesn't seem like they are ready to pull away. Add a little bit extra love and compassion into the lives of everyone you meet and you may just be able to help them keep going on with their day in a happier mood.

Waking Up Late

How many alarms do you set for yourself when you know you have to be up at a certain time?

How many times do you snooze those alarms wishing for more sleep?

Generally speaking, I only have 2 alarms and I only snooze the first one; although it's not really snoozing it, rather it's just turning it off and letting the second alarm wake me up in another hour.

But for whatever reason, that second alarm did not wake me up today. I don't remember it going off at all. Instead, I woke up at 7:09. a full hour after it should've gotten me up. 20 minutes later than I would normally leave to get to work. 

It is a good thing that I do not take long to get ready. It is a good thing that I meal prep in advance and did not need to get anything ready for lunch. It is a good thing that I leave so early to begin with and had just enough time to get to work even with traffic, and walk through the doors as my shift was starting.

I hate being late for things. Does not matter what thing, I hate being late to ALL things. It gives me anxiety. I start to panic that I won't make it in time and that I will get in trouble.