It is exhausting,
Putting up a front to keep you.
Plastering on emotions that aren't mine,
You don't understand how fake I am for you.
Stretching myself ever thinner,
Pretending to be happy and sane like you.
Stand up tall, dress just right.
Smile spread wide, crinkle the eyes.
Inflection in tone, flow of words.
Use it all to build a disguise,
Putting up a front,
Pretending it's real when it's just lies.
It is exhausting,
Putting up a front to keep you.
Plastering on emotions that aren't mine.
You don't understand how fake I am for you.
I'm sorry, but I'm over it.
I will be who I need to be for me.
--------------------------------
It is okay to not be okay.
It is okay to not want to pretend.
It is okay to not have emotions to show.
It is okay to reach out for help,
It is okay to not want help.
You are perfectly you and if that means upsetting others because you aren't who they want or need, then they can suck it up ... or they can leave.
It is not on you to carry the weight of the world and protect everyone else.
Protect yourself first.
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